Men's Rules Women Just Need To Learn

[taker]

I'm not trying to start a sex war, this only mean in HUMOR. I've seen this before, odds are likely you have too. So here we go...

Men's Rules (that women should know)

1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Edited October 7, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[VincentsLucrecia]

I have an objection to make. Sunday isn't the only sports day. =) Sunday is only a sports day because of football, which isn't the only sport out there.

These were pretty funny though. I don't see why most of us girls make a fuss over the seat being lifted anyways.

[Linoud]

;D Great stuff.

[taker]

Course, I only find good stuff. I found more, just waiting my time otherwise I'll have like 90 topics here

[Riku]

You may annoy me but I have to say alot of that between us guys and the girls is true.

Dont kill me girls for saying that. :-[ :'(

[Koby]

This and all other humor belongs in Art & Literature board. xD

Do you like to create your own stories, write poems, lyrics, or read books? Do you love humor? Well we'd love to read your work and such! So go ahead and post about that kind of stuff here, be creative!

LOL.. sorry if it's almost unnoticeable or w/e.

Anyhow thats some funny stuff. LOL

[taker]

You bet your sweet ass it is :-D That's a joke. FINE, I'll post all funny writen stuff here, but all my movies I Find I'll generalize them.

[-PHXN- New001]

I kindof lost my attention to it after a while, cause those all seemed so obveous to me

Good stuff

[Original Sora-14]

I guess they were okay. The ones about hints and thoughts are so true.

Damn you men are stupid!!!! Why can't women be asexual?

[† Emotional Outlet]

There's only, like, four girls that actually post on this forum. Don't kid yourselves, you haven't got a large audience to piss off.

Hope is a stupid and is blind to a large population of asexuals.

[Vivi Kailo]

Interesting... I'm so glad I hate boys! They're so... annoying.... or complicated, I can't tell.

[Saya]

The only girls you'd piss off are the preppy brats who aren't even smart enough to put the seat down! My brother lifts it my mom complains, I just deal with it by cleaning the floor with his toothbrush! A girls gotta have revenge

Those were pretty good, and most of them are true.

[Juneau]

Why do women hate men that much I wonder? We don't like stuff women do, but you'll rarely hear a guy say "I hate women."

Nice thread Taker it was fun reading it

[Guest Destiny Angel]

I rather dood friends than girl friends. For one instance girls are too complicated, yes I am a girl and I find me complicated. For doods most i know don't care at all. And they're easier to tease without them getting angry. Doods i like better than female as friends. And females i like to look at better but I am not wriggly I am parallel.

The only girls you'd piss off are the preppy brats who aren't even smart enough to put the seat down! My brother lifts it my mom complains, I just deal with it by cleaning the floor with his toothbrush! A girls gotta have revenge

Those were pretty good, and most of them are true.

Some people are too lazy to put it down...

16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

Lawl.

[K2]

Always fun to read these. So many peoples lives would be so much easier if more of us girls at least read these things. They're so simple and true for the most part.

[Anooxy]

Interesting... I'm so glad I hate boys! They're so... annoying.... or complicated, I can't tell.

:cool: Girls love boys. Boy love girls. It's natural. You hate stupid boys... but not everyone is like that.

[ZidaneFC]

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Speak for yourself. I love short hair on girls.

Edit: And I say Nay to more than half of the others...that was just the most outstanding one to me.

[Anooxy]

Speak for yourself. I love short hair on girls.

Me too xD.

[Guest wweii]

I guess I am typical. I like long hair on a girl.

[ZidaneFC]

^ ...You are held captive by the flowing web of stringy lies...cut yourself free my friend...