Facts About Women

[Koby]

Not as bad as the facts about men, so if you know a better list, feel free to post it. =O

1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.

14. Women think all beer is the same.

15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

18. Women brush their hair before bed.

19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

22. Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.

30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.

32. The first naked man women see is 'Ken'.

33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

35. 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-

language.

36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.

39. If it is not Valentines Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a

conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

40. Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

41. Did I mention that even after a careful and through explaination to the men in their lives, only women will understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'?

42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.

43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.

48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don't see straight men dancing together.

49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'

Edited October 16, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[Kazu]

50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'

I wore a white suit to graduation, because i knew no one else would

But this was a very good read..very....informative.

[† Talena Mae]

Ok I shall do as you did love:

1. I go in get what I need then i am out of there! I REALLY hate shopping.

2. As above.

3. I have loads of clothes, but I will only wear about 5 of my outfits in a week. ( I love my jeans so they go straight in the wash so I can wear them again.)

4. I only cry when i am in pain, i don't put on the water works for every little thing. ^.^

5. I ask Questions, but not to make one feel guilty... Most times. xD

6. I do like to talk >.> very much so.

7. I hate Oprah. -.-

8. I love my sex! love it love it LOVE IT!

9. Coming from one who asked me to kill the spiders? xD

10. I have loads of secrets I keep so =P !

11. Oh HELL NO! I go by myself!

12. I don't like my phone and that is why it jumped down the drain... xD

13. I likes toys, the Vibrator is a very handy toy... ^.^;

14. Beer YUCK Jacks and coke or a Jim Beam for me thanks!

15. I only use one shampoo, but it still ends up smelling like a rain forest in there lol.

16. I love my AFL so that one again does not apply to me. ^.^

17. I pack lightly, as you will see when I come to visit you.... (whip, cuffs ETC xD)

18. I brush my hair in the morning, and 5 minutes later it looks a mess lol.

19. hehe, I lick not bite ^.~

20. True.

21. Again true

22. I know what an oil stick is (it is called a dip stick here).

23. True (partly, I have never seen red carpet here).

24. I have 10, and I can name them all.

25. I do love cats, but kick my cat and I will kick you!

26. Meh, phones.

27. Pfft! I walk outside in my robe for most things.

28. Good thing is I walk everywhere now. ^.^

29. I will wear myself out long before you love. =D

30. I DO want an honest answer if I am asking (and I don't ask all that often).

31. lol watch out love ^.~

32. I was into cars, I saw the boys at school nude before Ken...

33. True.

34. I am left handed so I am more inclined to turn left.

35. When I say "oh nothing" I really mean "oh nothing"

36. LOL True again. ^.^

37. >.> I do that...

38. I NEED WEIGHT! I am only 88 pounds. =P

39. hehehe I like that one. ^.^

40. I don't have them here, I don't see a reason to have them...

41. As above

42. Hmm, I like it when a man pays the way, call me old fashioned... ^.^

43. ROFL!

44. I live in a house with three boys.... Trust me, I look. xD

45. I have never got a ticket in my life.

46. Who is that? xD and Tom Cruise... EW!

47. We fake because men don't know how to give us real a one. ^.^

48. Umm, I don't really dance....

49. Hehehe, I don't go out, I hate them fancy places... >.<;

50. LOL I said I knew a guy but you said he didn't count...

[† The Joker]

LMAO mae!!!

[Empathy]

* standing ovation for Mae*

Statements 8, 10, 17,18, 25, 27 and 34 will get you shot by me Koby.

No 8 just go ask Ren.

[† Talena Mae]

* standing ovation for Mae*

Statements 8, 10, 17,18, 25, 27 and 34 will get you shot by me Koby.

No 8 just go ask Ren.

It was just a joke cause I posted this: http://forums.kametsu.com/showthread.php?t=7585

and this: http://forums.kametsu.com/showthread.php?t=7584

xD

LOL

[Koby]

^^^ *Points at Mae's post.*

That and I googled these, =O

I had no part in their creation so don't take it out on me please. haha.

[Nero D. Ace]

i literally ROFL'ed at these, simply because of how true they are.

<runs and hides>

[Vael]

run punner run, is that empathy with a shotgun?

that was hilarious, good find koby

[thecoop]

wow, do not let my wife read these