Men's Rules Women Just Need To Learn

[WolfOfTheTwilitForest]

I understand most of these rules, probably because I'm a tomboy. I don't get why there are a lot of girly girls and they piss me off.

[Azy]

those rules are so true... i see them almost everyday, just from my family! lol i know theres more to add on those, but i can't remember some of them.

[Mr_Owl]

there was another list on an old humor website i used to use. they were mostly the same, except they were all number 1, since they were all the most important rule.

[Dark Rabbit Jin]

" 11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. " ah.... can't wait to use this one, if im not on for the next few days well.... it went terribly...terribly wrong!

[seirachan]

"22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that." I think I know what hes talking about XD

[† Anras Rune]

wow, way to bump a 4 year old post...XD

ive read this before on a humour site...

[Stuy]

everything in that list is absolutely true ^^

where did this info come from "the bible of understanding men" =P

[FloodControl½]

i like the list it's how shoud i say it.... overman powered...

[Dan Den]

everything in that list is absolutely true ^^

where did this info come from "the bible of understanding men" =P

Nice one Stuy. An yeah if most women read this life would be so much easier.

I'm not trying to start a sex war, this only mean in HUMOR. I've seen this before, odds are likely you have too. So here we go...

Men's Rules (that women should know)

1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

5. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

17. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

19. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

20. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

21. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

22. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

23. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

24. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

25. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

26. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

27. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

28. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

These guides is what you should probably give to your girlfriend after things start to get serious, it would make life a million times easier. This is basically what every man thinks.

[lemmingllama]

I would hazard to add a rule. "Dont ask 'How do I look?' if you are looking for more than a couple words."

But this made me lol.

[Dan Den]

I would hazard to add a rule. "Dont ask 'How do I look?' if you are looking for more than a couple words."

But this made me lol.

Yeah this one is one of those dangerous one, if you tell them a one word answer they go back and change cause they think it looks hideous or something. And believe me it is worse when you go out with your sister and her friends.

14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

And this is one of the most dangerous questions known to man be very careful what you answer.

[† Anras Rune]

NECROPOST ALERT PROTOCOL INTIATED...*kills Dan Den*

Lol, these rules are universal dudes and dudettes...OBEY THEM!

EDIT: Holy shit, this thread has had two cases of necroposting.....lmao

[lemmingllama]

NECROPOST ALERT PROTOCOL INTIATED...*kills Dan Den*

Lol, these rules are universal dudes and dudettes...OBEY THEM!

EDIT: Holy shit, this thread has had two cases of necroposting.....lmao

Its just that awesome, thats why it got double necroposted

[Jarlaxle]

Haha, some excellent stuff here. Quite a few accurate pieces. My favourites would have to be 8, 13 , 15, 19, and of course...28.

[AaronScythe]

Ah this old thing, first time I saw it was on the back of the toilet door at my mate's girlfriend's old place.

Methinks that understanding is why they are still together.

[DrumRoll]

Also, women should not phrase an order as a question. If they want something done don't give us the opportunity to say no. Because we will.

[Shinato]

As a girl I can't help but agree with some of those topics. Then again lads... I like abit of chivalry so YOU can put the toilet seat up

But it's also true about how men don't moan about women. Feminists are totally fine but if a group of men were 'pro-men' the whole female community would be fuming.

[gohan8484]

#15 ftw