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found this on one of my friend's page and made me laugh so hard.
1. We do not understand the words “ching chong”.
2. Not all Koreans make nuclear bombs or eat dogs.
3. Just cause you see an Asian person it doesn’t mean they’re Chinese, they could be Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Filipino etc.
4. We are not all communists. (( only north korean )) <—Rofl
5. Asian girls with long black hair HATE being called The Grudge or the girl from The Ring8. Same goes for Asian guys and being called Grudge boy.
6. We don’t use THAT much M.S.G.
7. Don’t ask us to speak our language, we will when we feel like it.
8. We don’t know how to translate your name so stop asking cause most likely we can’t.
9. Don’t ask us to teach you curse words either.
10. Stop trying to pair up Asian guys and girls at your school and say they look cute together. Not all Asians belong together.
11. All Asian countries speak different languages.
12. Just because we’re Asian it doesn’t mean that we know karate, kung fu, tae kwon do etc. Even though we are probably capable of kicking your butt anyway.
13. Don’t say all Asian people look the same, that’s like saying all white people look the same, all African Americans look the same and all Hispanics look the same.
14. Surprise! Not all Asians are good at maths.
15. Not all Asians are short.
16. Or skinny.
17. Just to let you know, it’s NOT funny when you tape your eyes up and start speaking gibberish. That just gives us another reason to kick your butt.
18. Go ahead, make fun of us. We’ll just make fun of you in our own language.
19. It’s ok for us to call each other F.O.B’s but if you call us one you’re asking for a beating.
20. Yeah we eat rice, and what?
21. Don’t fold your hands and bow at us like you know what you’re doing cause honestly you look like an idiot.
22. Don’t ask if the Chinese use cat in their food, if they did they would label it “cat chow mein” instead of chicken chow mein. They don’t use cat if you didn’t already guess that by now.
23. No…Yao Ming is not my uncle.
24. Chopsticks are the perfect utensil and the easiest to wash.
When helping your fiance clean out her purse, if you find an old spray canister at the bottom, do not spray it on your wrist, then rub, to check to see if the "Perfume" is still any good. You should also ignore the desire to scratch anywhere near your groin until you have washed your hands. Because, if your luck is like mine, the "Perfume" will turn out to be very old pepper spray. Yes, it still works. Yes, it takes a moment to kick in. Yes, you will be laughed at in the ER.
a woman at the funeral of her mother. There, she meets a man she doesn't know and has never met, who she thinks is her dream partner. But, because of the circumstances, she forgets to ask for his number, and she can't find him afterward. A few days later, she kills her own sister. Why?
By † Talena Mae
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming to high.
2. Women don't make fools of men...most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason.... you're sick of him.
4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.
5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one...they try harder.
7. Go for younger men...You might as well...they never mature anyway.
8. Men are all the same...they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
9. Definition of a man with manners...he gets out of the bath to pee.
10. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.
11. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men ... a woman.
12. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men ... strong, caring, loving ... they'd be wrong but you could still use them.
13. Men are like animals...messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.
14. Men's brains are like the prison system...not enough cells per man.
15. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men ..."don't" and "stop" (Unless they're used together).
16. Husbands are like children ... they're fine if they're someone else's.
17. If a man appears sexy, caring and smart ... give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.
18. All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.
19. If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden ... he is probably checking out the woman behind you.
20. Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a jar ...once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but don't know where it goes.
Not as bad as the facts about men, so if you know a better list, feel free to post it. =O
1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
14. Women think all beer is the same.
15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
16. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
17. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
18. Women brush their hair before bed.
19. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
20. Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
21. Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
22. Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'
23. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
24. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
25. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
26. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
27. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
28. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
29. Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
30. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
31. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.
32. The first naked man women see is 'Ken'.
33. Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
34. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
35. 'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-
36. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
37. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
38. All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
39. If it is not Valentines Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a
conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
40. Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.
41. Did I mention that even after a careful and through explaination to the men in their lives, only women will understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'?
42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
43. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
44. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
45. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
46. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
47. Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
48. It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You don't see straight men dancing together.
49. Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
50. The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'