[Need Advice] The Beginnings to a Relationship

[Myrodis19]

So I met this girl the other night based on a friends advice ( he said we would be perfect for each other) this girl also works for my aunt. The other night I finally saw her and she was cute, and after much bravery on my part I managed to ask for her number. Just a bit of background on our ages, I am 22 she is 19. So I texted her this morning and we had a lil back and forth conversation, I learnt a little about her, then I asked her if she wanted to go to a movie, and she did not respond, so thinking I made her feel uncomfortable I sent another text saying sorry if I did. She did no respond to this one either but I sent a last one cause I wanted to be honest since I have been taking advice for friends, and asked her out for coffee, she responded saying that might be nice. I know I texted to much and it turns out she goes to the local collage so I know why she didn't responded for awhile. I asked if this following week would be good and she said she would have to check her schedule, after work tonight. I asked when she worked so I did not disturb her via texts tonight (Was that wrong to ask?) but I believe she works at 6 so she hasn't responded. I am asking for advice on this since this is my first time ever asking a girl for her number in person, my previous girlfriends I have asked out online and have known a few of them from high school so it wasn't hard to do, I do not want to screw this up and since it seems like I didn't yet I was hoping you fine people could help me out.

(I wanted to post this new thread so i could get better info based on this situation)

[Dark_Angel13]

Well the girl sounds nice enough for sure and yeah that delay in replies could simply be that she was at college or w.e, you need to remember you only just met this person so you aren't exactly a priority just yet, wether you're asking her out or not. So far I'd say you're doing okay and no it isn't wrong to ask her when her work hours are, it couldve been worded better like when are the times I shouldnt text you, asking when her work hours are is a bit on the nose but w.e, it doesnt matter. I understand you're nervous and unsure of if she really likes you or w.e because of the texting and whatnot but she said it would be nice to have coffee with you. Having coffee with someone is a lot of conversation, if she wasnt comfortable with you she wouldnt bother likely. As for why she may of ignored those previous txts I'm unsure but college is likely the reason. I wouldnt worry too much on this, just stay calm and remember she did give you her number so she must see something in you =)

[Myrodis19]

Well the girl sounds nice enough for sure and yeah that delay in replies could simply be that she was at college or w.e, you need to remember you only just met this person so you aren't exactly a priority just yet, wether you're asking her out or not. So far I'd say you're doing okay and no it isn't wrong to ask her when her work hours are, it couldve been worded better like when are the times I shouldnt text you, asking when her work hours are is a bit on the nose but w.e, it doesnt matter. I understand you're nervous and unsure of if she really likes you or w.e because of the texting and whatnot but she said it would be nice to have coffee with you. Having coffee with someone is a lot of conversation, if she wasnt comfortable with you she wouldnt bother likely. As for why she may of ignored those previous txts I'm unsure but college is likely the reason. I wouldnt worry too much on this, just stay calm and remember she did give you her number so she must see something in you =)

Thank you for the advice and you got a point, and i know people will say try not to sweat it but truth be told i am still afraid the texts i sent could have scared her off or something.

[Dark_Angel13]

I can understand that you're scared your texts scared her off, just try and stay cool. If you start worrying about that now and she sees you're freaking out a little bit it's not gonna look good lol. So just txt her like usual, dont be overbearing otherwise that will scare her off haha

[Myrodis19]

I can understand that you're scared your texts scared her off, just try and stay cool. If you start worrying about that now and she sees you're freaking out a little bit it's not gonna look good lol. So just txt her like usual, dont be overbearing otherwise that will scare her off haha

Well i sent a text this morning how are you, then fell back asleep got up for a bit then was cleaning up thought id ask what High school she went too, no response yet. Was thinking of calling her today to see whats up if anything and just to talk, yay or nay of an idea?

[† Emotional Outlet]

If she hasn't responded yet, just give it some time! There isn't any real need to call her unless you're about to die or you have evidence that someone is about to kill her, haha. I mean, you don't want to make it seem like you don't do anything besides think about her. It's nice to be thought of, but in early stages like this, it can come across as being too much. Just do whatever you did before you met her!

Sometimes it takes me forever to get back to a message because I'm off doing other things--chores, making meals, playing games, reading something, bathing. I'm pretty bad about telling people that I'm off to do something, so by the time I come back, hours will have already passed. It's not because I'm trying to avoid anyone, it's because I'm a terrible human being. And if anyone tries to message me while I'm at the library or about to go to the library, I will not respond until the end of my shift, and sometimes not even then because I stay after for a few hours to do some writing.

[Myrodis19]

For all who helped me out on this topic and my previous one just wanted to say things seem to be doing well. Her phone was turned off and i asked her if i could call her and we talked for a good 17 minutes. She said she understands when i said sorry about sending so many texts (Maybe cause she is shy too). SO we now have a date date next weekend for coffee, and she goes to the local community collage so we might also hang out there.

NOW any advice in general would be nice, and i am at a loss of what to text now since i dont want to give away or ask so much stuff that could be better asked via in person. Also she is a short girl and i am a tall guy, never dated or attempted to date a short girl, any advice on that as well.

And im curious about one other thing how long is a good length to ask to be exsclusive and such. In general i am asking this to see what people think.

[† Emotional Outlet]

If you're meeting next weekend, maybe just hold off on any lengthy conversations over text until then. If something comes up, it comes up, but you could get away with busying yourself with other things until like Thursday or Friday, just to make sure things are still on for the weekend.

I don't really know what to tell you about the height differential, haha. I've generally been shorter than the people I've dated and it's never really been something I thought about. You will have to lean down a little and she will have to get up on her toes a bit, depending on how much taller you are than her. Just don't treat her like an armrest, haha.

As far as exclusivity goes, that's where my experience generally falls apart. The expected norm is some sort of monogamy--I don't know how much this applies to the either of you, but just keep that in mind. It's still early, so I personally wouldn't worry about being exclusive until you've seen each other a few times and it feels like things are starting to click. It's different for every couple.

[Dark_Angel13]

My gf and I have a vast height difference, I'm 6'3 and she's about 5'6 if that so I'm A LOT taller then her, it doesnt prove too many problems, just try not to point out how much shorter she is, in my experience they dont particularly like that and all the girls ive dated have been shorter then me lol. Kissing can prove difficult at times with my current gf but we make do. For the most part there's no problem with it, just don't bring attention to the height difference

[Myrodis19]

My gf and I have a vast height difference, I'm 6'3 and she's about 5'6 if that so I'm A LOT taller then her, it doesnt prove too many problems, just try not to point out how much shorter she is, in my experience they dont particularly like that and all the girls ive dated have been shorter then me lol. Kissing can prove difficult at times with my current gf but we make do. For the most part there's no problem with it, just don't bring attention to the height difference

Also along with the previous questions how do you deal with a shy girl, ive not dated a shy girl before. This one is new to me hmm. And ive heard the small girls like tall guys anyways, does that prove to be true?

[lolrawr]

When hugging a short girl make sure you bend down, embrace, and then LIFT TOWARDS THE HEAVENS!

Sorry that's all the advice I can give lol. I don't know a whole lot about dating. XD

[† Emotional Outlet]

If I got that kind of hug from someone I barely know, I might be a little annoyed and wigged out, haha. I can accept that kind of hug from a friend, though.

Females who like males generally prefer their males to be taller because that's what we're taught to expect. Obviously if you are a tall woman who likes men, fitting into the mould that the woman should stand shorter than the man is going to be difficult.

I mean it's cool when people can get stuff off high shelves for me, but I have a step stool and I will climb on counters if I really have to.

Deal with a shy girl like you would any other person. It's hard to say anything specific without knowing what she's like, haha. Also is she an introvert or an extrovert, because shyness doesn't always correlate with introversion. If I'm out alone or at the library, people tend to view me as someone who's very proper and ladylike, if a little taciturn--when I'm with friends, that kind of goes out the window.

[Myrodis19]

If I got that kind of hug from someone I barely know, I might be a little annoyed and wigged out, haha. I can accept that kind of hug from a friend, though.

Females who like males generally prefer their males to be taller because that's what we're taught to expect. Obviously if you are a tall woman who likes men, fitting into the mould that the woman should stand shorter than the man is going to be difficult.

I mean it's cool when people can get stuff off high shelves for me, but I have a step stool and I will climb on counters if I really have to.

Deal with a shy girl like you would any other person. It's hard to say anything specific without knowing what she's like, haha. Also is she an introvert or an extrovert, because shyness doesn't always correlate with introversion. If I'm out alone or at the library, people tend to view me as someone who's very proper and ladylike, if a little taciturn--when I'm with friends, that kind of goes out the window.

At the moment i am not sure, but what i do know is she is always surprised to heard from me even when i asked her for her number the first time. My friend says its because she has never really had someone do that/ ask her out. But that is all speculation so i am not sure.

[Dark_Angel13]

My gf and I have a vast height difference, I'm 6'3 and she's about 5'6 if that so I'm A LOT taller then her, it doesnt prove too many problems, just try not to point out how much shorter she is, in my experience they dont particularly like that and all the girls ive dated have been shorter then me lol. Kissing can prove difficult at times with my current gf but we make do. For the most part there's no problem with it, just don't bring attention to the height difference

Also along with the previous questions how do you deal with a shy girl, ive not dated a shy girl before. This one is new to me hmm. And ive heard the small girls like tall guys anyways, does that prove to be true?

Woman do seem to want a taller man, I think it's just how it's always been, a woman wants someone who can protect them if need be and look strong, powerful. Height is a good physical telling of that, it depends on the build of the person still but for the most part the tallness is sought out I think. Shy girls can be difficult to crack or work out, not that you're trying to work her out straight away. Just stay cool and DO not be overbearing, that'll scare her off and make you probably instantly undesirable. Just take it slow, don't push her to talk if she seems to want to stay quiet. Start the conversation if you can, once you get her talking everything should turn out, make sure you don't embarass her either, she may withdraw from you then and the date won't be comfortable for her from then on. I choose shy girls to date because I'm a shy person myself sort of so I know how most of them work.

[The Welsh Paddy]

... I always tease my lady about her height. But then, we were close friends for a good four years before actually getting together. In previous experiences, I have dated ladies both shy and confident. I found myself favouring the latter. But... I'm actually shocked that no one has said this...

Just be yourself!

Seriously, you can put a lot of time and effort into behaving certain ways around ladies, but if you have taken a fancy to someone, you would want them to fancy you for just being yourself. I'm not saying that it will definitely work in this scenario, but then if she's not gonna be attracted to who you are, then what's the point? That's just life.

I'm naturally a very open, honest and caring kind of person. Used to be very shy, but that changed upon me finishing secondary school. I can't really say that I've gone out of my way to try and impress ladies, or to re-invent myself in such a way as to be more appealing. I've generally just gone with the flow. I've had several crushes, and been a right flirt at times, but I've only ever been in four relationships before finding the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. (It's a mutual feeling, by the way!) But yeah, not all relationships work out, so until you're both on a mutual level in regards to your feelings towards one another, then the best thing to do is to just go with the flow.

So yeah, just be yourself. Act how you would towards any other lady you've been around. It would be great for that to lead into something more than friendship. Let us know how things get on, yeah?

[Malyssa Rahl]

Being you was enough to get a first date, so being you should be enough to keep things interesting for both of you.

In general, the question of exclusivity should wait until you're both at least thinking about sleeping together. (Which can be anywhere from just after meeting, to years later depending on the couple.)

In regard to the height difference. It doesn't really matter. I've never dated anyone taller than me, but that's probably because I'm well above average height for a woman, and know only one other woman who is as tall as me. I am nearly a foot taller than my love, and things work just fine. Just don't loom over her so she has to look up at you all night. If you can, take a shorter seat, or have the chair back further and lean forward so that your eyes are as close to level with hers as you can make them comfortably. (sliding down the chair so you lean back will make her think you're not comfortable around her... So don't do that!) A forward lean says you're interested, and putting your eyes closer to hers makes you look more considerate because she won't strain her neck looking at you.

[Myrodis19]

Ok so i asked her where she lived so i can pick her up a few days ago, no response till tonight but i swear, everytime i think i scared her off she just keeps coming back, any insight on this all?

[Dark_Angel13]

Ok so i asked her where she lived so i can pick her up a few days ago, no response till tonight but i swear, everytime i think i scared her off she just keeps coming back, any insight on this all?

Yes, you keep worrying too damn much, she doesnt keep coming back, you don't scare her off in the first place lol. Just chill

[Malyssa Rahl]

Not everyone checks their phone so often it may as well be grafted to their hand. Just give her time to respond, if she knew how you obsess over how long it takes her to respond you probably owuld scare her away!

[Dark_Angel13]

Not everyone checks their phone so often it may as well be grafted to their hand. Just give her time to respond, if she knew how you obsess over how long it takes her to respond you probably owuld scare her away!

Must agree that it would likely scare her away, although I do like the idea of grafting my phone to my hand although I think a pipboy like device would suffice =)