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The Hobo Chronicles.

ParasiteEve

By † ParasiteEve
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ParasiteEve Knight of the Round

† ParasiteEve

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Chapter 1

Story 1

The Rich Hobo.

This one time I was walking down the street and I saw a hobo begging for money so I walked up to him and said “Hobo, why are you a hobo?” he replied “Cause the man brought me down” then he proceeded to shake his fist angrily.

So I asked, “And just who was this man Mr. Hobo?” He jumped up and pointed to a huge corporate type building. “Those bastards in there!” He yelled.

As the yelling continued I decided to look in his hobo begging jar, to my amazement he had more money than I had ever seen in my life, My mind began to race with thoughts of what I could do with the hobo’s money right then he said “And that’s why I got fired and live here on the street in a cardboard box”

Pretending that I listened to the rant I distracted the hobo with shiny fake jewelry and stories of my riches.

I told him to bring his things and he could stay with me, He was so happy he could hardly contain himself, Later I found out he didn’t contain himself and pissed in my car, I rubbed his nose in it then I remembered he’s a hobo and will never learn, After the car incident we arrived at my home, I showed him where he would be staying and kindly asked him to take a bath for that he reeked of urine, feces and fish.

He happily agreed to the bath, while he was in the shower I started to plot on how I would murder the

Nasty hobo, I had plenty of ways to kill people stored in my head, because I had often planned out my

Co-workers deaths, after pondering for awhile I decided on the simplest way you could kill a hobo.

While sitting on the couch I heard “HEY LADY! I AIN’T GOT NO WEARABLES!” The hobo yelled.

“Oh Shit” I thought, I hadn’t even thought about clothing for him after the bath, Then I suddenly remembered I still had some of my ex’s old clothing stored in a back room I had kept them for personal reasons but this is more important than some old clothing, I’ll be rich once I steal his money.

I walked to the bathroom door, “Gimme bout five minutes I’ll have you some clothing”

I stood there for a moment waiting for a reply and nothing was said, So I knocked on the door again “YO HOBO YOU STILL IN THERE?!?” I yelled.

Then I heard something like a moan of sorts, Shocked I slowly backed away from the door and shuffled off to get the clothing for the hobo, walking past the kitchen I remember something I needed to get ready to kill the hobo, I went to the freezer and set out a thick piece of steak and proceed to get the clothing.

I started back to the bathroom were I had left the moaning hobo and noticed the door to the bathroom was open and with the door to my bedroom across the hall was open, Confused I looked into my bed room and to my shock I saw the hobo dressed in my “special” lingerie laying on my bed asleep cuddling up to my favorite…..

TO BE CONTINUED! ^,,^

Edited by Emotional Outlet
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ParasiteEve Knight of the Round

† ParasiteEve

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WARNING!:This Chapter does not contain as much humor as the last chapter, So don't get mad and such, I took a different turn at the end, well kinda xD

Chapter 2

Story 1

The Rich Hobo.

Stuffed animal, now don’t question me sleeping with stuffed animals just keeping thinking about the creepy hobo.

I stood there in absolute shock, confused and angry that there was a hobo sleeping in my bed but also wearing my “special” lingerie for God only knows what reason, I decided it would be best to let sleeping hobos lie because I had a feeling if I tried to wake him I could possibly get bitten and catch hobo rabies or some other disease hobos have, Feeling rather sleepy but to afraid to nap I thought now would be a good time to count the hobos money to see just how much he had but for the life of me I couldn’t remember where he placed the jar with the money then I remember he sat a small bag down in the hallway, I slowly walked down the hallway, for I did not want to wake the hobo, There I saw an old moldy looking bag, As I began to search his nap sack I heard foot steps I immediately jumped up acting as if I was putting the bag away for safe keeping then a voice called out “Mistle, you here?”

I turned around stunned to see my Ex, “Ugh, damnit why are you here?” I snapped, Then he kindly said

“I left afew things here and just wanted to pick them up, I was hoping you wouldn’t be here”

I began to stare at him “Didn’t want me here huh?” I started poking him in the side just to mess with him

He laughed it off then started walking toward our old bedroom and I quickly cut him off “HEY! What do you think your doing?!? Think ima take you to bed? Keep dreaming mister!” I said jokingly

He quickly turned around with a smirk on his face “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” he laughed

Trying to cover for myself I shouted “HELL NO! Are you freakin outta your mind?” I could tell my face was starting to turn red from embarrassment, plus the mental image I got of us didn’t help a damn thing,

Then he looked at me, grinned and whispered in my ear “Get that naughty mental image out of your dirty little mind” Suddenly out of no where I felt his lips gently press against my neck and his arm wrap around my waist, I stood there again shocked yet this time it was for all the right reasons and THEN right in the middle of what seemed like a dream come true, The hobo stumbles past us with one hand in what were my panties and the other scratching his face mumbling “Got any food round this place?” he proceeded to make his way toward the kitchen talking about food the whole way. At a loss for words I managed to get out “S…so..h..how..did you get…in the house…? Nervously chuckling the whole time..

AND! TO BE CONTINUED!

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ParasiteEve Knight of the Round

† ParasiteEve

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Chapter 3

Story 1

The Rich Hobo.

“Huh?” he replied with a puzzled look on his face.

“Spencer, How did you get in the house?, I thought I took your key” I snapped

“I know where you keep the spare key outside, anyway who the hell just walked by and was he wearing the lingerie I got you last Valentines day? ” He said still confused about what he had just saw.

“Fine. Fine…I’ll tell you what’s going on” I said has I grabbed his arm dragging him into the bathroom.

“Mistle, why the bathroom?” He said as I locked the door behind us.

“Well the bed is nasty now and he’s right next to the living room so I thought this would be the best place” I said calmly.

Grinning yet again he said, “Best place for what?”

I sat in the floor staring at him, “I should really slap you, ya know it? I quickly replied

“I was gonna tell you was going on!” Then I went on to tell him everything that I had planned.

-In The Kitchen-

Grumbling to himself, “Damn iz hungry….gotta find…eatables….”

He started going through all the cabinets looking for food like, well like a starving hobo.

“HEY LADY!” yelled the hobo.

-Back in the Bathroom-

“Why does it not surprise me you would think of something like that?” Spencer said as he laughed

“Damnit Spence shut up will ya, You have to help me know you know? I replied.

“Ohhh hell no! I don’t want anything to do with your messed up plan!” He quickly said.

I began to beg “Please, come on Spencer. Just this one time it’s all I ask”

“Ugh, You know I can’t say no when your on your knee’s” He laughed

I jumped up and slapped him a across the face, “Spencer, I hate yet…like you, lets go get this plan into action!”

“I knew you still liked me” He said under his breath

I went to reach for the doorknob right when I heard foot steps approach the other side of the door.

“HEY LADY! You in there?!?!?” The hobo yelled

I opened the door and shouted it, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?”

He stepped back and spouted “Dude you should have done her, she’s so damn bitchy”

My eyes widened as I balled my hand into a fist and punched the hobo right in the face, he stumbled, fell backwards then slumped over slurring, “Meh….diiidn’t hurrt abitit” then he soon passed out.

I wiped my hand on my pants then said, “Spencer throw his ass in the tub, we’ll deal with him later”

AND! TO BE CONTINUED!

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