Rattle

[DuLake]

Yeah, I meant to do a little rewriting to make sure it all flowed, but didn't, haha. That was meant to be the research he was doing, but the action kind of forks off from doing research so that's where it gets confusing. Sorry I didn't do my proper time on it.

[Pinkie Pie]

it was a nice chapter, even if a little confusing. i...kind of have something i'd like to bring up though. please understand that i'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it'll bother me for a long time if i don't point out the inaccuracy of one of the lines involving Norse mythology > w>

According to legend, Nordic-Jesus, Thor, will cave it's face in with Mjolnir to save whoever's left before dying nine steps later.

Thor is not comparable to Jesus in any way, shape or form. In fact, the only figure in Norse mythology that might be is Baldur but his story has nothing to do with snakes lmao Although it is pretty interesting if you don't know of it already o uo

[DuLake]

According to legend, Nordic-Jesus, Thor, will cave it's face in with Mjolnir to save whoever's left before dying nine steps later.

Thor is not comparable to Jesus in any way, shape or form. In fact, the only figure in Norse mythology that might be is Baldur but his story has nothing to do with snakes lmao Although it is pretty interesting if you don't know of it already o uo

 

 

I debated that line to myself, to be honest, but I used it because Thor is the chief son of Odin and dies sacrificially in his battle with Jormangandr. Jormangandr itself lights Midgard on fire, making him the direct enemy humanity, and thus Thor humanities personal savior. Plus the trials of Thor are decent analogue to the trials of Jesus (and more so Hercules) It's not exact, but it gives some point-of-reference for people who don't know anything about Norse legend.

 

Yes though, Thor has very little in common with Jesus, but just enough that I thought it could help some people.

[† RazorDan]

I actually think the Jesus comparison is helpful, I can see how it would help people who don't know much about Norse mythology. As for the chapter, dude I loved it, you're so skilled. Didn't have any problems with it really, understood what you trying to convey (I hope). I'm a sucker for mythology so definitely loved it. Looking forward to more!

[DuLake]

Thanks man! There are definitely improvements to be made, but that's any first draft (I feel terrible posting so much unrevised work! But I totally appreciate everyone's critiques). I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

Not sure when the next chapter is going to happen, I'm not really sure what it'll be about, but hopefully this weekend. I'm starting on revisions for a few projects right now, so a chapter a week is probably my limit.