Suicide. [Personal/Disturbing]

[BushidoSkeleton]

I was wondering what peoples opinion was on suicide.

Sometime people deal with a lot of things that they cant handle and decide to end their own lives. Sometimes it is a well thought through choice they make, other times its a choice they make then and there when emotions are running high.

I had a rough childhood (No father and an abusive mother) and a lot of the time during my teen years I wanted to do it just to escape the situation I was in and thought that I would be stuck in that lifestyle forever.

After a lot of counciling and support from friends I was feeling a lot better.

Then about a year later my girlfriend of three years robbed me taking all my money and running off with another guy. That night I drank wine glass full of poison and if my house mate didn't find me and call for help. I would have died that night.

I started getting back on my feet and working hard to build myself a life.

I got a new girlfriend and was with her for another three years, then she was raped and beaten by someone she trusted.

When she told me what had happened I hunted the guy down and beat him within an inch of his life. I will never forget all the blood or the look on his face. He knew how helpless she must have felt.

I was convicted of Reckless Cause of Grievous Bodily harm and served eight months in jail for what I did.

Inside I met all sorts of evil men with hopeless existences on the outside world. Every night in my cell I would think about tying the blanket to the light fixture and hanging myself. It was really the worst place anyone can be.

When I was released how much my life would be at a disadvantage now that I had a criminal record. I started to think about overdosing on sleeping pills and just ending it all.

A couple of times I had the pills in my hand ready to go to a better place... but all I could see was my little sisters faces and thought about how much this would hurt them.

I have decided that I'm going to make the most of life and I am now studying IT which I love and I have a great girlfriend.. I still get sad sometimes but I try to have the willpower to defeat it. I get my mind off it with video games.

Argh... I've shared quite alot here.

Anybody have any stories or opinions?

[Nero D. Ace]

Oh boy. Suicide. I'm gonna state my opinions on it first and then elaborate on them. For those who may get hurt by what I'm about to write, don't read it. It took me years to come to this opinion of mine and justify it. It won't be changed now :- It's a coward's path.

There, I've said it. Hate me if you want but to me, anyone who wants to get out of their miserable life by committing suicide is just a coward.

It's not that I haven't ever thought about it. The pressure of studies caused me to think about it all the time when I was 16. My parents who wanted me to study hard so I could get admission in a good college, My teachers who would be grumpy for some reason and take it out on the students, the reasons for it are infinite. Everyone is pissed at the world for some reason or another. Everyone feels that they haven't been treated fairly enough.

There were many a times when I pulled back me sleeve, looked at my wrist and thought “it'd be over just like that.” All I had to do was drive a blade across that. No one could have stopped me, I had that amount of privacy that I could lock the door and just end it and wait for the darkness to cover me.

The reason I didn't it is simple – it would mean that I admitted defeat. It would mean that the world gave me a challenge and I failed and the world won. What would one more death mean in a world where millions die everyday?

Suicide is NEVER the ONLY way out. It is simply the EASIEST way out. Am I supposed to just give up trying to study just 'cause it's gotten slightly more difficult? Millions of other students are trying as well.

What good would it accomplish by throwing away a life in a moment of grief? Surely that person must have had moments of extreme happiness as well?

I've ranted all I wanted to based on my feelings from back then. I can't say “Don't even think about hanging yourself” but what I can say is “Have the guts to overcome that desire."

[† Talena Mae]

Personal story time!

I have been through a hell of a lot, beaten by my mother and stepfather, ignored by my father, raped from a young age. tortured, taken drugs, lived on the streets, seen and won my fair share of fights.

Abused emotionally and physically from ex boyfriends, hurt over and over again.

Yes I have come out a little twisted in my opinions and such, but never once did I think to myself "If I take a little more if this it will end and I will be free."

Not once have I ever wanted to kill myself. You know why? First off i partly agree with Iki; it is the cowards way out.

Secondly: I had a really good friend of mine who agreed with me and Iki about killing ones self... and in the end he hung himself from a beam in his garage...

Third: it is more painful to the people who have hurt me to see me getting on with my life, making something of myself and throwing it back into their faces!

I was always told I would be a nothing, yes hey! I have five publishing houses in Australia alone that want to print my book!

But this is my opinion and my life story... even though I have not gone into too much detail >.>

[Wake]

I might terrify people by saying I have mixed feeling about this subject. Most people think it's black and white, and I might have agreed up through most of different parts of my life. I didn't just suddenly think it's alright to do it or anything and I DON'T think it's alright. BUT in certain situations I can't call people a coward for doing it. For example if someone becomes really sick and was given one month to live or something I know I would want the option to end it on my terms before I don't become me anymore. I think though that would be the only exception to suicide not being the answer. I know that is just my very humble opinion and am not looking to fight over what other people think of it.

I was abused sexually when I was really young by a friends friend for almost a month before someone found out and put a stop to it. I really didn't understand what it meant or what it did to me until I was in about I was 11. That messed me up more then I realized and thought about suicide till I met someone in 7th grade who became my best friend and then in 8th grade trying killer herself. She didn't succeed thankfully, and told me never to think of such things myself. And I stopped. She moved away that summer and I lost contact after about a year through high school, though I consider her still to be the best friend I ever had. Anyway I realized my emotions were messed up real bad after attempting to have a girlfriend and it failed horribly in high school. We only went out two months, even though I really cared for her I just couldn't emotionally attach myself in anyway. I didn't think I would ever be able to after that and got really lonely and started hurting myself. But stopped at complete random when I had a dream about my best friend from Jr. High almost a year later.

I Finished left school due to problems with teachers, and went to get my GED and that's when I met the only girl I every loved. We dated for 2 and 1/2 years before she was in a car accident and past away. I found I couldn't feel or do anything for a week then suddenly got out of my bed and grabbed a ketchen knife and stood there for nearly 20 minutes and then finally let go of the knife. And started crying for the first time that week and didn't stop for the rest of the day. Since then I can't think suicide is any way to go when you have the choice to live.

About a year later or last year actually, I became ill. And Found out I am not going to be able to do most of the things in life I really wanted to do. I wont ever be able to run again. Which for me was huge. Then I got worse and the doc's couldn't figure out what was wrong and now my hands are partly crippled and I can't even walk well now. It has to to with my nerves but the doc's can't figure out what the actual reason is. I am on med's that are treating the symptoms which help, but I know that will only last so long because it's not helping the problem. So maybe a week or maybe a decade. I really don't know how long I will be even this healthy. But until the a doc says I got a month to live, I'll never think suicide is the answer. And who knows, knowing me, when faced with this if or when it comes, I'll just keep fighting and see how far I can get.

I think people who think of suicide are just scared. Well dhh, lol. But people forget how really ok it is to be scared, and you can always find friends for support even in the most unlikely of places (like the internet lol!?!?!).

There's my little story. Hope that in some way helps you find what answers you are looking for MechaZen.

[BushidoSkeleton]

Personal story time!

making something of myself and throwing it back into their faces!

This is pretty much what I'm doing at the moment.

@Wake, Thanks man it was food for thought. Its really interesting reading other peoples views on it.

[seirachan]

BTW Iki It's not across It's Down. It's hard to kill yourself cutting your wrist across but if your go right down you'll cut all of the veins and It's rare anyone makes it out alive from that Even if the paramedics are a step away.

I've never once cared about my family. My family is not loving in the least bit. My eldest brother beat me up all the time. My father beat our whole family up, I never knew dads hugged their kids, My other brother is an ignorant moron, and my mother tried to leave us all for some guy down in the US and didn't care about all our troubles with my brothers friends acting like they owned the place and called me a liar in front of the cops pretty much when I told them her friend tried to rape me.

So yeah I had a pretty rough life. I wouldn't have known suicide existed if school didn't tell me. I've only got one person keeping me together. I cannot be attached to people very easily. In order for me to be attached and care I have to love the person. Otherwise I would never wanna see your face when I'm down. My friend that's their for me I still can't open up and allow them to be face to face with me when I wanna die. Id still be screaming and telling him to go cause there would be only one person I wanna see.

If i lose that one person I wouldn't wanna hold on anymore. I kept my super strong sleeping pills for a long time but i wouldn't use them anymore. Sometimes I just wanted roll the dice and see if I lived after wards. But thinking about it, I'm not sure what those pills would do to me. If id sleep silently or end up puking to my death. Yeah not the way anyone wants to go.

Back in high school I used to try to cut my arm up but I was pretty weak. Wrists are for attention whores. But back in the those days my drunk brother was still beating me up. Then when he found out I was trying to cut myself he threatened to hit me more, YEAH THAT'S REALLY GONNA HELP. But I knew back then if I couldn't cut my arm right I couldn't end my life.

But right now I'm totally fine. So long as I got my only true friend and lover to hold onto I'll be okay.

But a note to everyone NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER call the cops on someone who cut themselves. You might just cause them their death :/ I was totally fine that day and just took out my anger and frustration. Tossed some shit so my mother decides to be a total bitch and phones the cops cause I left to cool off without her near me. So I sit in the park for awhile and then start to head over to my bf's then there's fucking cops that stop me. They check my wrist but wrists are for attention whores so meh. Then I try to tell them just to let me off at my bf's they don't and hand me off to my mother yatta yatta mom gets dave to look after me at home.

He PISSES ME OFF taking anything "sharp" away. Including DULL fake swords. So I try to go outside, my ignorant brother and an annoying girl i know stop me at the door and he punches me. yatta yatta They annoy the hell outta me telling me I can't see my bf so after awhile I was like FUCK THIS and ran out the door. yatta yatta bro comes with me. Then just at the last hill some cops stop us. They check my arm and FORCE me to go to the hospital for 3 hours in waiting line telling me if I leave I GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL. Why thank you anti-suicide groups you made my life a living hell and MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF WHEN I DIDN'T BEFORE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

SO I'll rephrase DON'T EVER CALL THE COPS WHEN SOMEONE CUTS THEMSELVES YA HEAR ME!? If you really think they are going to kill themselves then look after them yourself you'll only cause their death by calling the police.

[† Talena Mae]

@ seirachan: it is the people who don't talk about killing themselves that you really have to watch out for... you see, from my experience, the people who were always talking about killing themselves WERE the ones wanting attention "dont do it you have so much to live for" all that jazz...

Where as my friend and a few others who it still hurts to mention said NOTHING about their heartache, said nothing about their depression, said NOTHING about wanting to kill themselves.

So now I ignore the people who say "I'm gonna go jump off a bridge, slit my wrists ra da dada da."

Or I tell them to go for it, I will call the M.E/coroner once they are done and ALWAYS they have changed their minds.

So look out for the people suffering in silence, ignore the attention seekers.

and from what I seen if I had known you the I would have kept my eyes on you.

(had to edit it looked like I was saying something mean when I wasn't)

[seirachan]

@ seirachan: it is the people who don't talk about killing themselves that you really have to watch out for... you see, from my experience, the people who were always talking about killing themselves WERE the ones wanting attention "dont do it you have so much to live for" all that jazz...

Where as my friend and a few others who it still hurts to mention said NOTHING about their heartache, said nothing about their depression, said NOTHING about wanting to kill themselves.

So now I ignore the people who say "I'm gonna go jump off a bridge, slit my wrists ra da dada da."

Or I tell them to go for it, I will call the M.E/coroner once they are done and ALWAYS they have changed their minds.

So look out for the people suffering in silence, ignore the attention seekers.

and from what I seen if I had known you the I would have kept my eyes on you.

(had to edit it looked like I was saying something mean when I wasn't)

Oh yeah I know that too forgot to mention it. A girl I met named Shay her friend just randomly killed herself one night, It didn't help her friend was on her period too. Her bf also Killed himself right in front of her. So that girl had it hard but I think shes okay now, she was always slitting her wrists and showing it on webcam and saying she was gonna kill herself but she never did. I was getting pretty fed up with her looking for attention. But when people slit their wrist it's pretty easy to see so that's why I say it's for attention whores, all my scars are hidden.

I've always known when someones down face to face even when they don't say anything. I can probably catch it if someone was thinking about suicide. Hoary for being a Libra!

[Malyssa Rahl]

I haven't had quite the troubles other people have, but I was forced to grow up pretty early. After mom died, I had to fend off the.. less than appropriate attention of my drunk father. He never managed to catch me, but he kept trying until I ran away at 15. A friend's family took me in to keep me out of the foster care system, but that's a story for another time.

I agree with Mae and Iki.. suicide is the cowards way out, the easy way out. An interview with a survivor of an attempted suicied off of the golden gate bridge stated that the moment he let go of the bridge, he realized that all of his problems, other than the fact that he was falling, were fixable. That is the message people should take away from all of this. As long as you live, you can change things for the better, but you can't fix dead.

[† Talena Mae]

Hoary for being a Libra!

I'm a Gemini XD

[Kasoivc]

Heh, I'm only seventeen and a half - plus or minus a few days and hours; Yet Suicide has always come across my mind at one point. I always question myself if it's better to keep living and poking around to see what else can possibly happen, or just cut to the end like a sore loser. Like what a few others have noted, I believe it is a coward's way out as well; I have no problem with being considered a coward, what I think of myself is not what others think of me.

In my own personal position, I'm stuck in limbo ~ Where I'm too old for kiddie games and too young for adult responsibilities. In a way, it angers me because I feel so useless and helpless even though I still have potential and willingness. Growing up, I had a very odd childhood in the sense that I had very few limitations or restrictions. I could have as much junk food or soda as I wanted, watch anything I wanted, and even stay up until I passed out from exhaustion. Of course I learned all the negatives through firsthand experience, many peers my age didn't have such experiences.

I'm willing to bet others who have even thought once about suicide, has at one point been in a position where they're stuck in limbo between two situations.

--------

I haven't seen how bad it can get, but I don't exactly stand one way or the other for it. I'm a very hopeful person, but there are times when I have no hope and everything just looks dark and grim; that's where I need my friends to step in and help me back on my feet, otherwise I feel like I would be one of the few who would actually fully commit to it.

As for personal stories, there have been a few times where I stood in the kitchen with a kitchen knife lined up on my veins. (My veins are usually visible because I breathe "slow" compared to "normal" individuals.) I'm thankful for each time that I put the knife down and cried to myself. I look back and laugh, and also cry a little inside to acknowledge my sadness and fears in those situations.

As Mae mentioned, people who never really talk about it are the ones you have to worry the most for. I lost a really good friend when he lost his job and his girlfriend left him immediately afterwards... All within a single day of events. I still pray for him to rest easy.

[seirachan]

Heh, I'm only seventeen and a half - plus or minus a few days and hours; Yet Suicide has always come across my mind at one point. I always question myself if it's better to keep living and poking around to see what else can possibly happen, or just cut to the end like a sore loser. Like what a few others have noted, I believe it is a coward's way out as well; I have no problem with being considered a coward, what I think of myself is not what others think of me.

In my own personal position, I'm stuck in limbo ~ Where I'm too old for kiddie games and too young for adult responsibilities. In a way, it angers me because I feel so useless and helpless even though I still have potential and willingness. Growing up, I had a very odd childhood in the sense that I had very few limitations or restrictions. I could have as much junk food or soda as I wanted, watch anything I wanted, and even stay up until I passed out from exhaustion. Of course I learned all the negatives through firsthand experience, many peers my age didn't have such experiences.

I'm willing to bet others who have even thought once about suicide, has at one point been in a position where they're stuck in limbo between two situations.

--------

I haven't seen how bad it can get, but I don't exactly stand one way or the other for it. I'm a very hopeful person, but there are times when I have no hope and everything just looks dark and grim; that's where I need my friends to step in and help me back on my feet, otherwise I feel like I would be one of the few who would actually fully commit to it.

As for personal stories, there have been a few times where I stood in the kitchen with a kitchen knife lined up on my veins. (My veins are usually visible because I breathe "slow" compared to "normal" individuals.) I'm thankful for each time that I put the knife down and cried to myself. I look back and laugh, and also cry a little inside to acknowledge my sadness and fears in those situations.

As Mae mentioned, people who never really talk about it are the ones you have to worry the most for. I lost a really good friend when he lost his job and his girlfriend left him immediately afterwards... All within a single day of events. I still pray for him to rest easy.

Everyone really thinks about suicide pretty much. So your not alone. The only people who don't are the ones that deny anything bad in the world pretty much. Like I say intelligence is depression. You don't see cats killing themselves do you? being smart enough to know about these depressing things and knowing the option causes us these problems. Always try crying before you cut. You might be able to get it out and not feel like doing it anymore.

My doctor told me the other day I haven't dealt with stress properly my entire life pretty much. My problem is that my problems right now aren't fixable by me so what he told me isn't helping besides the fact that I'm gonna quit my job soon and go on a week vacation. I was always the tough person and didn't cry which keeps it always bottled up and stuck in me. Things that happened 6 or so years ago still affect me pretty badly if i think back.

You may not be a little kid but your only 17, don't grow up too fast, being an adult is twice as stressful. Try to be more outgoing and don't ever push away your friends. I lost all of mine because I went with a bad bf and disappeared for 2 years then everyone was gone.

[noctis_angel]

I believe suicide is the idiots easy way out in life.

I'm sure everyone has experienced it at some point in their life, if not you directly then a friend or family member.

it's easy for them once their dead just lying in the dirt under a little brick tombstone but they won't be there to see the impact that they leave behind, the burden they place on others shoulders.

I had a rough childhood and did look into ending my life once or twice, but each time i sat down a thought what would mum n dad be like if i was gone my family and friends. Sure they piss the hell out of me but it wouldn't be fair to them and it would be the most selfish thing to do.

My uncle committed suicide when i was 16 that was the first time i saw my dad cry. I didn't know my uncle but to see dad cry was pretty hurtfull.

Cut it short there is an answer and a way to solve everything. You never grow as a person if you take the easy way out in life

[Scott]

I had a rough childhood and did look into ending my life once or twice, but each time i sat down a thought what would mum n dad be like if i was gone my family and friends. Sure they piss the hell out of me but it wouldn't be fair to them and it would be the most selfish thing to do.

Not everybody has somebody like that. You can't just assume people have friends or family that they actually care about like that. Not everybody loves there family or their family doesn't treat them as well.

[Kinara Uzumaki]

Suicide is definitely one of the most sensitive topics there is. I have to admit that I've suffered through a period of wanting to commit suicide back when I was younger, maybe around 11 years. I found it hard to understand people and the world around me and how I should behave and survive in it. I didn't have any one to talk to, the friends I made always left me at some point and that's how my fear of trusting people began. I couldn't face my problems, I couldn't ask for help because no one listened to me. I was the black sheep and the rebel and the misfit, everywhere I went.

Somehow, there came a time when things overwhelmed me and I couldn't take it any more. The things I saw before my eyes, the things I was made to do and finally it was anger and fear that almost ended my life. A certain argument with my brother made me so mad that I was on the verge of getting a knife from the kitchen and plunging it into my heart. Such was the turmoil of emotions within me but something pulled me back. I didn't have the courage to do it. Later on, I found out that suicide was prohibited in my religion and that fact burned deep into my soul. Since the day I learnt that fact, I have been able to overcome my problems to some extent and it's safe to say that I will never think of suicide again. A friend of mine having attempted suicide twice also taught me valuable lessons about myself.

So, it's true......Suicide is only a coward's way out. There are different levels of cowardice but suicide is the one way that cannot be turned back. Once you kill yourself, you can't come alive again. I have to say that the stories above are far more powerful than mine and their problems make my own seem silly and stupid. I congratulate them on overcoming it all.

[Dark Spy]

its just another way of giving up

[-Zero-]

I had a very close friend once. He was around 40-50 so having a 17 year old(me) befriending him was rather odd. But we talked and played around and all. According to him, he was living in Hell. His wife deserted him, but he loved her. He said that he loved her and hated her at the same time. That, combined with other personal problems, he tried to commit suicide. Luckily he was saved by one of his daughters. Unfortunately, several months afterwards,.....he hanged himself....

It was sad, really sad, that he was living this type of life, but he did nothing to help himself.

If you don't do crap to save yourself, then you're practically screwed. You need support from friends, and you must do your best to forget all that hurts you. Seek professional help, and don't give up.

Better to live a new life, than die in the old one.....

[Kyon]

One of my friends committed suicide. No one really knew why she did. It was so sudden and abrupt nobody knew how to respond. If something was hurting her she could have talked to somebody. But yeah, she pretty much just gave up for an unknown reason.

[Jeff Zero]

One of my friends committed suicide. No one really knew why she did. It was so sudden and abrupt nobody knew how to respond. If something was hurting her she could have talked to somebody. But yeah, she pretty much just gave up for an unknown reason.

[DragonSpirit]

sometime its the only way to escape