Broken Dreams

[Nero D. Ace]

The rain thundered down outside the club, washing away the sorrows that had accumulated on the street, preparing it to be drenched in sadness once again.

Inside the club, things were lively as usual. Drinks were passed around, the senior members of the bar occupied the center seats, acting as the beacon in the bar and the underage high school students sat afar, hoping to get laid.

A girl came into the club and took a seat at the bar, her presence not even acknowledged by the numerous people celebrating or lamenting their own problems.

She as just another fish looking for escape ... escape from her real life.

“Just ... just gimme something to drink. Hot.”, she told the bartender, clutching her head as if in pain.

The bartender brought over a cup of hot chocolate and set it in front of her.

The girl fingered the cup, but didn't lift it up to drink.

“Strange thing to drink, considering the atmosphere.”, the boy next to her said.

“Excuse me?”, the girl asked, perplexed.

“If you're going to lament ...”, he passed her one of the two beer bottles in his hand. “Lament properly. You might even get laid.”

“I don't wanna ...”, she started.

“Ahhh ...”, the boy looked away, seemingly embarrassed. “I'm sorry about that. I've had WAY too much to drink tonight.”

“That's all right.”, the girl smiled. “To tell you the truth ... I am kind of depressed. But not suicidal or anything.”

The boy laughed. “Is that so? Well, let me buy you a drink either way. I'm Iki.”

“Emily ...”, the girl replied.

---

Four hours of drinking had knocked the stuffing out of the two of them as they struggled to walk towards the train station.

“I may be drunk ... but my mind is clear.”, Iki said. “Can't let a lady go to the train station by herself at this time of the night.”

“It's very considerate of you ... but I'll be fine ...”, she looked away quickly.

“Is something the matter?”, Iki asked.

“No ... nothing ...”

Iki stopped in his tracks. Emily looked at him, surprised. Just a minute ago, his face had been all random, now it was clear again ... and his eyes ... they were sharp now instead of the pale, drunk ones from the rest of the night.

“I can't help someone who doesn't wanna be helped.”, he shrugged and proceeded to walk away.

“Wha ... WAIT!”, Emily rushed towards him and grabbed his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

Iki sighed. “I'm with the police. We've been keeping tabs on you since forever. We know how deep you are in this drug business.”

Emily stepped back, surprised. “It ... it can't be ... He said ... he would take care of the tracks ...”

“He lied.”, Iki said somewhat violently. “That's what he does. That's what they all do. Because you're expendable to them. Useless. Just a mindless junkie who can't do anything else.”

Emily broke down in tears. “Please ... I didn't mean to ...”

Iki's voice grew calm again. “It's not too late ... just testify against him and you'll be fine ...”

Emily nodded slightly. “I ... I will.”

Iki smiled. “Good. We'll take you into protective custody ... and you'll testify in court so that we can send that slimebag away for eternity.”

“WELL WELL WELL!”, a voice came from behind Iki.

“Marcus ...”, Emily's voice grew even more silent. “What are you doing out of the base?”

“SHUT UP, YOU WHORE!!!”, the man called Marcus yelled at her. “When I got a tip ...” he turned towards Iki. “... that the cops are messing in my business, I put a watch on all my people. So ... who are you, boy? I know you're not a cop, 'cause they're in MY payroll.”

Iki glanced at Emily. “Don't listen to him, he's lying. He can't hurt you in this place full of traffic cameras so he's trying to scare you. Don't buy it.”

“WAKE UP, YOU FOOL!!!”, Marcus interrupted. “This guy is a fraud. He's NOT with the cops. He's playing you like the grand piano and you're getting played.”

“Don't listen, Emily. You need to get out of this ...”

“YOU STUPID LITTLE ...”

Marcus took out a gun from his jacket pocket and aimed it at Emily. “I loved you, you know? But you're just too damn stupid! How could you fall for something so obvious? ...”

Iki rushed between them. “Emily, RUN!”

“You bastard!”, the gun fired with a loud BANG! And Iki fell to the ground, his body lifeless.

Emily stared into his lifeless eyes for a few moments, then her gaze shifted towards Marcus ...

“Oh my God ... he was telling the truth ... Marcus, you're mad!!! I completely misjudged you!!!”

“SHUT UP!”, Marcus yelled at Emily, waving his gun around. “I'll deal with you later ... get back to base for now ...”

“NO!”, Emily stood up defiantly. “I want out of this, Marcus. OUT OF THIS HELL!!!”

She got up slowly, revealing a gun in her hand as well.

Marcus' eyes widened. “What are you doing with that?”

Emily lifted it up and pointed it at Marcus' head. “I bought this earlier for a different reason ... a different escape ... BUT I'M GOING TO USE IT TO KILL YOU!!!”

“No ... don't ...”, Marcus never got the rest of the words out. The bullet came crashing out of Emily's gun and traveled all the wat through Marcus' skull, leaving a clear red hole in his forehead.

Emily fell to her knees, her hands shaking. It was the first time she had killed somebody.

“I'm ... I'm so sorry, Iki.”, she sobbed.

“Don't be ... My job is done now.”, Iki said as he slowly got off the ground and took off his shirt, revealing a kevlar plate underneath. He scratched the surface and examined how far the bullet went as Emily looked on in disbelief.

“But you ... you were dead, Your eyes ...”, she spoke as Iki came near her.

“It's all right.”, Iki said as he hugged her. “It's over now ...”

Then, with great force, he brought his hand crashing down on Emily's skull, rendering her unconscious.

You did your part well, Emily. Iki thought as he dragged her to a bench. There were a few hiccups here and there but everything played out nicely. If it's any consolense, I live in my own hell everyday. Even though I am forbidden to kill, I can always work people against each other. That's what I do. I'm a 'Worker' after all.

---

And with that, the individual known as Iki was never again seen in town. The body of Marcus was found and Emily was arrested as the prime suspect. There were clues found that hinted a third party involved but no forensic evidence was accumulated and in time, the case was dropped into cold storage.

Edited October 16, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[† Talena Mae]

well... some suggestions...

1) you need more description (take a look at my BsE if you are confused as to what I mean)

2) you can add the talking after you have described something... IE: Four hours of drinking had knocked the stuffing out of the two of them as they struggled to walk towards the train station. “I may be drunk ... but my mind is clear.”, Iki said. “Can't let a lady go to the train station by herself at this time of the night.”

(and FYI, I dont know if you have ever been drunk before, but no ones mind is clear after drinking)

3) fix things: if his mind were clear as you said then the paragraph after makes no sense: Iki stopped in his tracks. Emily looked at him, surprised. Just a minute ago, his face had been all random, now it was clear again ... and his eyes ... they were sharp now instead of the pale, drunk ones from the rest of the night.

On top of that it seems to be an awkward sentence... what I do is I read it out aloud to myself... something like ' his face was clouded just a moment ago, but as she watched his eyes brightened, the drunk stupor that he was in seemed to had vanished. '

I noticed it does help me a lot to read aloud to myself after typing a paragraph. Although each time I go over them it continues to change as I find things I am not happy with...

if you would like more help let me know ^.^

[† RazorDan]

lol mae i get what you mean about reading to yourself, i stopped doing that cuz it made me take 1 maybe even two hours longer to do a single chap. anyway nice story iki, it was a cool read but like i said i get what mae is saying.

[Nero D. Ace]

In a minute ... Read on ...

Iki lay under the banyan tree, his eyes shut as he carefully went over the details of last night in his mind. Every loose end had been accounted for ... at least on the surface. There was always just a slight possibility that something may become undone, and if that happened, it COULD be traced back to him.

Just one oversight ... and his entire life would be over.

“Whatcha thinking?”, a little girl suddenly stepped into his view, startling him.

“What the ...”, he got up quickly. “Oh, it's just you. What do YOU want?”

“Impressive work you did there.”, the girl avoided the question. “Why did you spike the drinks?”

Iki rubbed his forehead and frowned.

“They weren't drinks. They were plain water.”

“First time I've seen people get drunk on water.”

Iki snickered. “You know as well as anyone that I can't work someone when they're drunk. It's practically impossible. Instead, I gave her the illusion of being drunk.”

The girl frowned. “Illusion? What does that mean?”

Iki crossed his arms and started to explain.

“She went to the bar to get plastered. In other words, she was expecting to get drunk and her body prepared itself for it. I took advantage of that fact and gave her a halogen compound that would relax her nerves, but one that also had an unstable enough functional group that it would break apart at the slightest sign of stress, thus putting her into a ... homicidal mood.”

“That's ... pretty low.”, the girl said.

Iki shrugged. “Like I care what you think. Anyways ...”, his eyes narrowed. “Do you have a message from Beta?”

The girl nodded. “Why else would I bother talking to you? He wants to see you tonight.”

“HQ?”

“Yeah, apparently he's extra paranoid these days so he doesn't even leave his own office.”

“I have a 3 month leave of absence, ya know ...”

“Not my problem. Discuss it with him.”

Now, Iki frowned. “Fine. As long as it's far away from this place.”

---

It was a cold night that night. Fog had covered the larger part of South Minota, rendering visibility very low.

It was for that reason that Iki decided to walk to the HeadQuarters of the Worker Organization.

The cold wind slapped him in the face all the way to the doorway of the 10 storey high building.

He walked up to the receptionist.

“Iota here. Beta's expecting me.”

The receptionist, a new one from before looked him over, saw the slight hand gesture he was making with his left thumb and right forefinger and nodded.

He pressed a button underneath his desk and the an elevator behind him opened.

“He's expecting you ... the usual place.”

[Manifesto]

Nice Iki your improving a lot