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So I had sudden inspiration to write a short story. I decided to do it in third person which is a bit out of my comfort zone. (Normally I do first person POVs) Anyway, here it is, enjoy.

“Father, I have a confession.”

A man in his late thirties spoke out of a confessional. His voice was rugged and somehow tragic. The priest could smell a putrid smell coming from the man, though he set it aside. It was the rules of the church to have open doors to all that seek refuge.

“I’ve done something terrible...”

“Nothing you can do is so bad that God cannot forgive, my child. What is it that you have done?” The priest replied in a matter of fact manner.

“God doesn’t need to forgive me. Rather, he can’t. Not anymore.”

“God is all-mighty and all-forgiving, my child. If you truly seek forgiveness, you shall be forgiven.”

A silence remained for a split second before the man opened his mouth slowly.

“I killed him-…” The man cut his sentence short and blinked back his tears.

“Him?” The priest asked with a steady voice.

“I killed God.”

A silence hit the church. The birds could be heard from outside and the sun that had just started to rise found its way through the windows.

The priest stood there with his hand over his mouth.

“Surely you must be joking. You cannot kill God. It’s impossible!” The priest finally replied.

“God’s dead. I’m sorry…”

“I would watch what you say, my child. What you speak is words of poison.” The priest’s voice churned with irritation. But still, he stayed true to the code of the church and allowed the man to stay.

“How can you believe in a God that let’s bad things happen?”

“Everything happens for a reason. If something bad happens, there is a greater plan for it.”

“And what if it was done on a whim?” The man asked.

“Nothing is ever done without a reason. Though the Devil may tempt us away from the path, as long as we stay true to God salvation is ours.”

“Will you still stay true to him even though he’s dead?”

Outraged at the words, the priest began to lose his cool.

“Do not speak blasphemy in this church, my child. This is the house of God.”

“Then it is the house of a dead man.” The man wiped the tears swelling in his eyes.

“Get out!” The priest raised his voice and walked out of the confessional.

“If you have no intent to be forgiven, then forgiveness will not come! If you choose to continue such blasphemy you have to leave this church!”

Soft sobs could be heard from the other side of the confessional.

“It’s too sad… What kind of God would do this to you?” The man left the confessional.

“I’m sorry… I hope ‘your’ God hasn’t died.” The man mumbled faintly with his eyes darting at the confessional.

===

The rancid smell had not left the church, even hours after the man had. The priest decided to look through the confessional and he found a bag oozing a thick, brown liquid.

He opened it to see familiar faces, families, friends and residents of the community. Everyone he knew, everyone he cared about.

He let out a scream and fell on to his knees.

“Why…?” he whispered softly as quiet sobs echoed.

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Certainly different to what I've seen you do Breathless and I can imagine where you got the idea to write this from, I'd like to see more, I didn't overly like it but I didn't hate it either, keep up the good work.


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Haha, I wasn't too sure what I wanted to write as I was typing away, but I wanted to try a neater, darker style to what I normally do. I find my own works a bit haphazardous and 'young'? So I wanted to fix that up, I think this is a step in the right direction for me. Glad to see no one hated it, haha.
I probably won't be continuing this exact story, but I may have another short story up soon! (I have a lot of fun writing, and it's been a while!)
Thank you for taking the time to read my works. I really appreciate the comments and feedback!  :ewhz:

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I'll always read your works man, they're good stuff usually and worth a read, plus giving feedback is important on anything, especially writing. I'd say this is definitely more serious and darker then what you  wrote before.


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I enjoyed it, all I wanted to do was keep reading to see what each character was going to say next. I wish it was longer though,


I would like to read something like this again.

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Dang.....Dark....Creepy..... Eerie.....I LOVE IT!!! I would totally love to see where this could have gone, and to read prior to the start of this.


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