Dead Batteries

[† Emotional Outlet]

Repost of my KamWri entry because things happened to the forum. It is now complete.

I had four prompts--"someone who did something bad a long, long time ago", "batteries are dead", "an email that cannot be unsent", and "person who has a lot of stuffed animals".

Word count varies depending on the program you use, but Scrivener puts me at 4957, Word puts me at 4868, and Google, the most generous of all, puts me at 4998. So, three different programs, none of which put me over the limit. Sorry it's a bit rushed--tried to cram a lot into a small amount of space, so I couldn't afford to spend more time on the giant time gaps.

======

BlisterdSun: What does your pretentious name of the month mean?

igniparous: ‘bringing forth fire’

BlisterdSun: Fascinating.

BlisterdSun: Have you considered just keeping the same name for more than a few weeks at a time? It’s gotten tiring trying to remember which one you are on my list.

igniparous: i fail to see how this affects me. it’s not lie your name is any less pretentious than mine, btw

igniparous: *like

BlisterdSun: We’ve been over this. It is a failing of my creativity, not an attempt on my part to appear deeper than I actually am.

igniparous: i’m just saying

igniparous: i don’t knw why you would want to be reminded constantly of that shit

BlisterdSun: What would you prefer I call myself, then?

BlisterdSun: Since you fail to appreciate the wordplay at work in my username.

igniparous: i dont know

igniparous: or care, really

igniparous: i was just givin you shit

BlisterdSun: But of course. It isn’t that bad of a memory, you know.

igniparous: sure

BlisterdSun: I do have a sense of humor.

igniparous: sure

BlisterdSun: You don’t believe me?

igniparous: when you got that sunburn you were bitching about it for weeks

igniparous: and then you sent me these disgusting pics of your discarded skin

igniparous: and while i appreciate the attempt to bring me into your life

igniparous: i dind’t want to see how pathetic your skin holds up against the sun

BlisterdSun: What? You’d been asking me for pictures of myself for ages.

igniparous: yes, but like

igniparous: of your face

BlisterdSun: It’s not as though you’ve returned the favor.

igniparous: i don’t want you to feel inferior to my rogueish good looks

BlisterdSun: I think my ego can handle it.

igniparous: sure

BlisterdSun: Sometimes I wonder why I even talk to you.

igniparous: because you love me

BlisterdSun: Despite the obvious issue of distance, I’ve only known you through chat.

igniparous: it’s been six yrs

BlisterdSun: Yes, I’m aware.

igniparous: so the fact that we’re both dudes doesn’t weird you out

igniparous: it’s the fact that you’ve never heard my voice or met me

BlisterdSun: Er, yes?

BlisterdSun: Entertaining the thought has not crossed my mind, I admit. Has it crossed yours?

igniparous: i’m a bit offended now

igniparous: don’t think i’m worth lovin orgood looking??

BlisterdSun: I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth. And I don’t know if you’re attractive or not because I’ve never seen you. Jesus.

igniparous: then what

BlisterdSun: I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish. Are you out to reveal me as a closet homophobe?

igniparous: or

igniparous: i’m just giving you shit like alway

igniparous: *s

BlisterdSun: We don’t even know each other’s names.

igniparous: details

igniparous: romeo and juliet didn’t know shit about each other either

BlisterdSun: Yes, and they died. What are you trying to prove?

igniparous: fuck dude

igniparous: no wonder you haven’t been laid in a while

igniparous: so fukin serious

igniparous: *fuckin

BlisterdSun: What I do or don’t do with my penis is my business and not up for discussion.

igniparous: just saying. its not like we don’t know shit about each other

igniparous: like

igniparous: i know you got a bunch of those fuckin stuffed bears in your room

igniparous: think that might have somethin to do with yoru lack of sex, btw

BlisterdSun: I wish you wouldn’t repeat that so often.

BlisterdSun: I told you, those aren’t all mine. They’re gifts from my mother.

igniparous: w/e

igniparous: i need to get going before the bank closes

igniparous: and cash this check

BlisterdSun: Oh, another check from your darling grandmother? How much money have you leeched off her now?

igniparous: fuck you dude

igniparous is offline and can’t receive messages

BlisterdSun: You would like that, wouldn’t you! Ugh.

======

igniparous: you and your latin shit

puella|pulchra: don’t be mad b/c you’re uncultured.

igniparous: i don’t think a month of latin makes you cultured

igniparous: but believe what you want

puella|pulchra: so did you wnat something or just wanted to hurl insults at me?

igniparous: a little pissed

puella|pulchra: wherefore?

igniparous: i assume that means why

igniparous: pissed at bs

puella|pulchra: thatr would be correct.

igniparous: and his assuming that i’m somehow stealing money from my gma

puella|pulchra: oh, bs is that guy you been talking to?

puella|pulchra: i thought you were just mad at bullshit in general.

igniparous: yeah blisteringsun or some shit he’s so proud of the name

igniparous: just

igniparous: i dunno it’s like

igniparous: i think we end up on different pages a lot

igniparous: and we don’t get each others jokes

igniparous: so i sound like a dooshy cockmongler

igniparous: and he’s all serious about everything

igniparous: maybe he’s being ironic too and i’m just so fuckin

puella|pulchra: vince. you’re just so you.

igniparous: yeah i guess i am me. shocking thought that is

puella|pulchra: it’s almost disturbing, i would say.

igniparous: shit

igniparous: i’m startin to sound like you when you get on about your latest boytoy

puella|pulchra: i was waiting for you to realize that.

puella|pulchra: believe me, im grinning like a fool at how worked up he has you.

igniparous: shut up

puella|pulchra: i think it’s sweet. i think i even saw you smile at school today.

igniparous: i was smiling at my fuckin sandwich

igniparous: had bananas and peanut butter. i love that shit

puella|pulchra: i think it’s gross and mushy. bananas do not go w/ peanut butter.

igniparous: yes they do

puella|pulchra: ok.

igniparous: so what about you

igniparous: besides your raging girlboner for latin

puella|pulchra: you’ll be happy to know i did not make a fool of myself infront of matt.

igniparous: which one is matt

puella|pulchra: the one in your shop class. the one you said looks like a cat.

igniparous: oh yeah

igniparous: he does

puella|pulchra: anyway, in english today he turned to me and said, “holly, can you loan me a pen?”

igniparous: he clearly wants to bone you

puella|pulchra: so i gave him one and then later i saw he was chewing on the end of it!

igniparous: please don’t tell me you violated yourself with that pen

puella|pulchra: i thought about it.

igniparous: seriously

puella|pulchra: obviously not, you idiot. i just lovingly sniffed it after class.

igniparous: what does his spit smell like

puella|pulchra: like you would expect. spit.

igniparous: youre weird

puella|pulchra: saysthe guy in love with the internet boy! what if he’s an old perv?

igniparous: who says i’m in love wiht him

puella|pulchra: oh, i don’t know. maybe the fact that you talk about him every day and the fact that you get upset and overanalyze everything he does.

puella|pulchra: or the fact that you made me look at those pics of him. he is toned, i’ll give you that.

igniparous: i obv wanted to gross you out

puella|pulchra: mm-hm. and the fact that you asked me not to touch myself to the pics was just you being yourself and not being possessive.

igniparous: i ask you not to touch yourself all the time

puella|pulchra: there’s nothing wrong with female sexuality! everyone does it!

igniparous: you dont ahve to tell me about it all the time jesus fuck holly

puella|pulchra: anyway, i need to get started on this latin homework. and by start, i don’t mean rub my girlboner all over it, so don’t even start with me.

igniparous: i wasn’t gonna but now that you mention it

puella|pulchra: vince.

puella|pulchra: don’t.

igniparous: don’t rub your girlboner all over it

puella|pulchra: you are impossible sometimes.

igniparous: no i think i am completley possible

puella|pulchra: goodbye, vince!!!!!!!!!!

puella|pulchra is offline and can’t receive messages

======

BlisterdSun is offline and can’t receive messages

igniparous: fcuk

igniparous: youre nit online

igniparous: i ficnkg

igniparous: i have to really slow down and look at the keyboard

igniparous: i wrote you an email

igniparous: and i

igniparous: shitfaced drunk

BlisterdSun is now online

igniparous: but i want to take it back

igniparous: even though i meant it all

BlisterdSun: Take what back? What are you prattling on about now?

BlisterdSun: And isn’t it three in the morning where you are? What are you doing up so late?

igniparous is offline and can’t receive messages

BlisterdSun: Okay…

======

puella|pulchra: hey.

igniparous: what

puella|pulchra: you looked pissed today. i know you didn’t want to tel me at school, but maybs now? since you don’t ahve to look at me or nothing.

igniparous: i was drunk last nigth and didn get much sleep

puella|pulchra: bad hangover? you’ve handled them like a champ before.

igniparous: ye\h but this time i said something to someone i shouldnt have

puella|pulchra: oh christ. don’t tell meyou wrote a love letter to your internet beau.

puella|pulchra: vince, dont you remember when i wrote that email for josh???? you kept telling me i needed to sober the fuck up andthink about what i was saying.

puella|pulchra: and then you showed up at my house and beat down my door, sayin if i sent that email, you were going to burn down josh’s house.

puella|pulchra: why didn’t you jsut call me like you normally do when your drunk and depressed?

igniparous: i don’t fucking know

igniparous: it was like

igniparous: he and iw ere talking earlier that day

igniparous: and it got kind of akward i guess

igniparous: but i couldn’t stop thinking about it

puella|pulchra: what were you talking about? what was awkward?

puella|pulchra: like awkward for us or awkward for normal people? because don’t think i havent noticed that you are a lot more open about things with me than you are with other people! you would be lost if you didnt\ have a big sister like me

igniparous: literraly big

puella|pulchra: i am not literally big. you shut your mouth and tell me what’s wrong. what were you talking about that got your panties all twisted up????

puella|pulchra: stop ignoring me and answer the question!!!!!!

igniparous: jesus fuck calm down

igniparous: i was taking a leak holy shit holly

puella|pulchra: oh. well. i forgive you this time.

puella|pulchra: now tell me what’s wrong!!!!!!!

igniparous: we were talking about

igniparous: hngnghgngnnn

puella|pulchra: ???

puella|pulchra: are you shitting right now or what?

igniparous: i just don’t want to talk about it

puella|pulchra: well too bad, because you are going to talk to me about it!!! now spit it out.

igniparous: he asked if i had a g/f

puella|pulchra: oh no. what did you say?

igniparous: i

igniparous: akhgakl;gd;alkgag

igniparous: i got nervous and said it was you

puella|pulchra: vince.

puella|pulchra: are you fucking serious?

puella|pulchra: first of all, we’ve only kissed once!! it wasn’t even thta good. and second, you are totally hot for this guy, os why are you lying to him??

igniparous: and i gave him your username

igniparous: i just

igniparous: fuck hes online

igniparous: i have to run

puella|pulchra: seriously, vince!!! he is iming me now!!!

igniparous is offline and can’t receive messages

puella|pulchra: oh my god, vince!!! i hate you right now. this is stupidly awkward.

puella|pulchra: i don’t even know what you said in that email so i don’t even knwo if you want me to lie or fix things and tell the truth.

puella|pulchra: oh my god, he won’t shut up. i really hate you, vince!!!

======

BlisterdSun: I’m not really sure what to say, but at this point, I don’t think it matters much. I don’t know what he’s told you about me, but I would like to head off any negative feelings before things get out of hand.

BlisterdSun: He seemed rather…

BlisterdSun: “Wasted” almost conveys what I want to say.

BlisterdSun: Anyway, as I said, I’m uncertain what he has told you and he has given me conflicting information, so I will put forth what I can.

BlisterdSun: He and I have been in contact for over six years. We met on a forum for…

BlisterdSun: Well, we met on a forum. Eventually it led to exchanging IM handles. It would be dishonest if I said I didn’t think about whether I had feelings for him, but I don’t want to be misleading. My continued contact with him was not in the interest of getting into his pants.

BlisterdSun: It wasn’t until recently that he brought up the possibility that he was sincerely interested in my company as something more than a good friend. He has joked about it in the past, but, as I’m sure you know, he isn’t often upfront about things and hides behind sarcasm frequently, so I didn’t think much of it.

BlisterdSun: But I assure you I would never interfere. It seems he has conflicting feelings about the situation, and I will step aside if I am causing strife between you two.

puella|pulchra: ummmm………

BlisterdSun: Yes?

puella|pulchra: can you show me the email pls?

BlisterdSun: I… suppose I could. Hold on one second.

puella|pulchra: thanks

BlisterdSun: “holly isnt my g/f i was lyging ok…… she is my closet frend bht i djst dont feela that way abt her plsus shes always talkgin abt other gusy and i just dont care she cand o her own thing i jst want to………… i dnat evn knwon my head huts so bad and i cant bene see thekeyboar i am cryng just thngkin aout it…… i am so mad abot this wholr thgn i wnt to be honet so here goes……………………………………………………… i realy like you alot mort han a frned and i dnt even knowif you feelt the same wayhg but i feel gso bad for lynn\g i dot evef knwn how youp tu up with my……… shet knws bt\etter thn anygon eelse how nmuch youdriv emy crazy andg im alwayhs ptuting so mcuhb rhoght into the thigns you shay to me and i catn hegpl bt wonsder if……………… i dog even mkae sense fucg im so stupoid i fcked up so bad bfre i nevr tdl you but id id……… i hjurt her raeally bad i………………”

puella|pulchra: that is more coherent than he normall is when he’s drunk.

puella|pulchra: surprisingly.

BlisterdSun: I see.

BlisterdSun: If I may speak candidly.

puella|pulchra: sure, go ahead.

BlisterdSun: I admit I have grown fond of him over the years, but had he told me that he had a girlfriend, I would have kept myself in check. I… may have said some things that I would not have said had he told me he had someone else in his life.

BlisterdSun: And though I am more than willing to stand aside, I would be lying if I said I would step aside happily or without bad feelings. As it stands, I hope you can understand my emotions are in turmoil. I thought all this time, and I hope you don’t think less of me for it, that I was the one in control. I… kind of got a kick out of thinking I was the one stringing him along, that the situation was mine to control.

BlisterdSun: But now it seems that I was the one being played.

BlisterdSun: Karmic retribution, I suppose, for not being forthcoming with my emotions while in the same breath condemning him for doing the same.

puella|pulchra: uh-huh.

BlisterdSun: I’m sorry, I’m babbling. Are you… upset? Is there anything I can do to help?

puella|pulchra: tbh, i need some time to think.

puella|pulchra: hes told me a lot about you, but…

puella|pulchra: i just needto think about this for a while, ok?

BlisterdSun: Understandable. I’ll leave you to it, then. Get in touch when you can.

BlisterdSun is offline and can’t receive messages

puella|pulchra: jesus, vince.

======

igniparous is offline and can't receive messages

puella|pulchra: why did you skip school today???

puella|pulchra: i'm going to kill you, vince.

puella|pulchra: you have one minute to get online before i start calling you!!!!!!!!

puella|pulchra: …

puella|pulchra: pick up your phone, you jerk.

puella|pulchra: fine!!!!!!!!! im going to your house. if you somehow see this between now and when i;m at your door, you better ave a good excuse for ignoring me!!!!!!!!!!!

======

igniparous is offline and can't receive messages

BlisterdSun: It's been three months. What happened?

BlisterdSun: I haven't heard back from Holly either.

BlisterdSun: Did you cut me off without telling me?

BlisterdSun: I guess I deserve that.

BlisterdSun: I…

BlisterdSun: Right. I'll stop now.

======

igniparous is offline and can’t receive messages

BlisterdSun: Almost a year.

BlisterdSun: I was thinking if I was really serious about wanting to get in touch with you, I would just send an email.

BlisterdSun: On the off-chance that… Well. You know.

BlisterdSun: But the more I think about what I want to say to you, the less I want you to actually know it.

BlisterdSun: Some of it is pleasant. I miss talking to you. I miss your repeated jabs at my poor attempts at irony.

BlisterdSun: Some, not so much. And I admit it’s all rather irrational because I have no idea what has been happening.

BlisterdSun: But part of me hates you. Hates Holly. Hates that you don’t even respect me enough to tell me what happened.

BlisterdSun: And I know that’s irrational. Because if something happened, then obviously respect has nothing to do with it.

BlisterdSun: Except I think if something did happen, wouldn’t Holly give me the benefit of letting me know? If only because I was your close friend?

BlisterdSun: Or maybe I really wasn’t.

BlisterdSun: Because I’m… what? Just another person on the internet, I guess. Just some guy across the ocean.

BlisterdSun: I wanted to tell you I was saving up money to come visit you.

BlisterdSun: There was a concert that was coming up not that far from where you live last month.

BlisterdSun: I wanted to surprise you, I guess. That band you liked so much was going to be playing.

BlisterdSun: And then when I checked on it earlier this year, I found out they canceled the show.

BlisterdSun: Just like everything else, I guess.

BlisterdSun: That sounded ridiculously melodramatic.

BlisterdSun: This is exactly why I didn’t want to write you an email.

BlisterdSun: At least this way I could say what I wanted and not have to deal with the consequences of anything stupid I may have said.

BlisterdSun: I guess I’ll tell you one last thing before I seriously try to stop contacting you and hoping to see that you’re online.

BlisterdSun: There was a graduation party last week I went to.

BlisterdSun: I’m sure you would have found my antics amusing.

BlisterdSun: But there was a girl.

BlisterdSun: And she was drunk. I was a little buzzed, but mostly sober.

BlisterdSun: She… was confused the next morning when she woke up. And angry. She left without saying anything to me.

BlisterdSun: It’s not a good feeling.

=====

puella|pulchra: vince you're online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

igniparous: yeah

puella|pulchra: are you feeling better, "little brother"?

puella|pulchra: that doc was a jerk, btw. he was hot, but a tool.

igniparous: i guess

igniparous: i feel like

puella|pulchra: hmmmmmmm?

igniparous: i feel like is houdl have learned something from before but then id idnt

puella|pulchra: accidents happen, vince.

igniparous: yeah but

igniparous: i ruined someones life again

igniparous: doing the same shit

igniparous: the worst part was when i was doing it i remembered ti all

igniparous: and i remembered thinking i needed to stop before it happened again

igniparous: but ic ouldnt

igniparous: i was so caught up in my own shit i couldnt stop

puella|pulchra: stop beating yourself up over it.

puella|pulchra: the legal stuff is over with. and look at it this way, vince.

puella|pulchra: no one died this time.

igniparous: i know you meant for that to make me feel better but it doesnt

puella|pulchra: yeah, i can see that. i tried.

puella|pulchra: sooooo………

igniparous: what

puella|pulchra: are you over your internet love?

igniparous: i dont want to talk about him

puella|pulchra: why, b/c its been almost 2 yrs since you just left him hanging?

igniparous: w/e holly no one was stopping you from talking to him yourself

puella|pulchra: forgive me for respecting your privacy. i didn’t want to just assume that you were good w/ me tellign him why you were in the hospital.

puella|pulchra: i think you need to sort things out with him. ir eally do.

igniparous: he prob doesnt even want to hear frm me anyway

puella|pulchra: how do you know unless you try? i’ll stop being invisible to him on chat when you do.

igniparous: ifyoure wrong about this…

======

igniparous: hey

BlisterdSun: Auto-Away Message: Sorry, I have been busy with the new baby! I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

igniparous: a what

igniparous: what the fuck happened

igniparous: dude

igniparous: …

BlisterdSun: I, er, got a girl pregnant. That's how these things usually work.

igniparous: i know that fucknut what i dont understand is how you have a kid

BlisterdSun: She was drunk. I was miserable.

igniparous: are you fucking serious

BlisterdSun: …

BlisterdSun: …

igniparous: dude stop fucking around

BlisterdSun: Okay, so I didn't have a kid.

BlisterdSun: But everything else was true. My penis did in fact enter another human being at some point.

BlisterdSun: She hasn't spoken to me since, but I did have a scare because I couldn't find a condom anywhere.

BlisterdSun: I didn't think I was that drunk. I didn't feel that drunk.

igniparous: cant handle your booze i see

BlisterdSun: Then she told me, very angrily and with more colorful words, that she was on birth control.

BlisterdSun: She then proceeded to make me feel two inches tall.

igniparous: same shit as always

BlisterdSun: Do you not find my prank amusing?

igniparous: give me a few days

igniparous: ill think that shit is hilarious after i stop being mad

BlisterdSun: You're mad? What about me? You didn't talk to me for two years.

igniparous: okay stop

igniparous: before you start with your righteous bullshit about how i wronged you

igniparous: and start playing some bullshit music about heartbreak and how youve moved onto better people

igniparous: or like

igniparous: some bullshit emo music with crying and audible wrist slitting

igniparous: i was in a reck

igniparous: *wreck

igniparous: after i sent you that email i got into my dads car and thought it was a great idea to run that shit into a tree

igniparous: ended up in the hospital for a while my dad was pissed

igniparous: and holly was ready to rip me a new one

igniparous: i felt guilty

BlisterdSun: Why did you feel guilty? Because you destroyed your father's car?

igniparous: not just that but

igniparous: it wasn't the first time ive drvien drunk

BlisterdSun: I see.

igniparous: so ig ot lucky this time

igniparous: kind of

igniparous: but it wasn't until recently that all the lgal stuff from then finally resolved

BlisterdSun: You've… hit someone?

igniparous: well yeah i thought you could tell that from what i was sayin

igniparous: except i ended someones dance career

igniparous: took away someones daughter

igniparous: and

igniparous: well

igniparous: im sure you can fill in the blanks all you want about me

igniparous: but it happened

igniparous: and i got scared that

igniparous: if i told ypou what was happening

igniparous: *you

igniparous: youd just think i was a pos and never talk to me again

BlisterdSun: Did you not see the part where I told you I desparately stuck my dick into a drunk girl who may or may not have actually wanted to have sex with me?

BlisterdSun: I just.

BlisterdSun: It doesn't make it better, but I understand.

BlisterdSun: So.

igniparous: so

BlisterdSun: Is Holly your girlfriend?

igniparous: i will tell you a secret

igniparous: that is a secret to no one but you

igniparous: i have not been with a girl since i was

igniparous: maybe five and that was my first kiss

igniparous: and i dont count the time i kissed holly because that was like kissing my ssiter

igniparous: *sister

BlisterdSun: Oh.

BlisterdSun: Well.

BlisterdSun: I feel like a shitheel now.

BlisterdSun: So when Holly said she needed time to think…

igniparous: yes

BlisterdSun: She was trying to buy you time to get your act together.

igniparous: basically

igniparous: and then i wasted it by hiding

BlisterdSun: You know, it was difficult to talk about this with my friends.

BlisterdSun: To explain exactly why I was so down for a couple months.

BlisterdSun: And why I wasn't going out like I used to.

igniparous: and then you wnet out and laid some girl

igniparous: was she hot at least

BlisterdSun: She was mildly attractive. Like I said, I was a little desparate.

igniparous: so you forced yoruself on an average girl

igniparous: wtf dude

BlisterdSun: I'll overlook your faults if you overlook mine.

igniparous: no theres no overlooking

igniparous: what faults

BlisterdSun: Er.

igniparous: i just told you i killed someone with a car will you just fuckin tell me

BlisterdSun: I did get a girl pregnant once. But.

BlisterdSun: I wanted to marry her.

igniparous: dude your like 17

BlisterdSun: Yes, the hilarity in my thought process is not unknown to me. But that was my logic then. I wanted to marry her and have a baby. God knows why I was thinking like that.

BlisterdSun: She ended up miscarrying. She said that it was an accident during gym, when someone ran into while they were on the court, but I don't know if I buy it.

igniparous: fuckin soap opera life there

igniparous: throw in some abusive parents or some shit

BlisterdSun: Not quite that, but an abusive boyfriend, yes.

igniparous: wait what

igniparous: you werent the boyfriend

BlisterdSun: Er, no?

igniparous: dude

igniparous: you were the 'other woman'

BlisterdSun: You're calling me a woman? I just told you I got someone pregnant!

igniparous: lesbians have babies

BlisterdSun: Are you serious right now?

BlisterdSun: I am not a woman. Or a lesbian.

igniparous: sure

BlisterdSun: Ugh.

BlisterdSun: Anyway, I guess you deserve to know that I was saving up money to see a concert with you last year.

igniparous: the one in july

BlisterdSun: Yes.

igniparous: i went to a diff one with holly and a couple other buddies

igniparous: since it was canceled

BlisterdSun: I'm going to ignore that you said that and continue with my train of thought.

igniparous: ok

BlisterdSun: There's another concert in a couple months.

igniparous: ok

BlisterdSun: …

igniparous: what

BlisterdSun: I guess I was hoping you'd be able to tell what my implied question there was.

igniparous: nope

BlisterdSun: Really?

igniparous: guess thats for you to find out isnt it

BlisterdSun: Right. Well, would you mind going to a concert with me?

igniparous: i dunno man im not a girl so you cant stick your desparit dick in me

BlisterdSun: Funny.

BlisterdSun: I am serious, though. I want to visit you.

igniparous: you dont even know what i look like

BlisterdSun: I know.

igniparous: how can you even trust me

BlisterdSun: Because.

igniparous: what if im really a serial killer

BlisterdSun: So you've kept up a persona for years just to kill me? I think for all your effort, you deserve to at least kidnap me.

BlisterdSun: Keep me as your sex slave in your basement or something.

igniparous: what kind of monster do you think i am

igniparous: sicko

igniparous: i would keep you in my bedroom not the basement

BlisterdSun: Cry your pardon.

igniparous: so youre really ok with me having killed someone

BlisterdSun: No. I don't want you driving when I'm there. At all. If I see you behind the wheel of even a tricycle, I will knock you out.

igniparous: i havent had my license back since it happened

BlisterdSun: Oh my god. How much more illegal could you have possibly made that? Maybe some cocaine on the dash? Couple dead hookers in the trunk? Maybe some bestiality?

igniparous: im nto going to give you my addressif your going to be framing me for hooker murder

BlisterdSun: I don't think you have to worry about that.

BlisterdSun: So Holly doesn't hate me?

igniparous: no she practically loves you

igniparous: she was going to kill me for not talking to you

BlisterdSun: Why?

igniparous: because shes like that

igniparous: she thinks everyone should be paired up

BlisterdSun: I hope you don't think I'm trying to pair up with you.

igniparous: what why

igniparous: afraid ill be ugly

BlisterdSun: No, there's still the issue of distance. Also, you're a murderer.

igniparous: ill block you forever

igniparous: and then youll have nothing

BlisterdSun: I was kidding. Tasteless, I get it. I don't think any less of you, honestly. And it is not because I thought you were a killer before.

BlisterdSun: But it has been a while since we've talked. Maybe catch up and see where it goes from there?

igniparous: sure

BlisterdSun: Was that sarcastic?

igniparous: no that was serious

igniparous: id like to catch up

igniparous: but no drinking for either of us

BlisterdSun: I can get behind that sentiment.

igniparous: youll get behind deez nuts

BlisterdSun: This is exactly what I was missing in my life for the past two years.

BlisterdSun: Offensive jabs like that.

igniparous: w/eyou love me

BlisterdSun: We'll see about that.

END

Edited September 22, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[lemmingllama]

Nice way to finish off the story. It was an interesting read for sure, even though it had more wacky drama than a Twilight book. Still, definately enjoyable so its good that you finished it up.

[† Emotional Outlet]

At least there aren't any sparkly vampires! Life gets pretty weird, so I don't feel bad about the amount of drama I injected into their lives--although I was really tempted to go through with the kid thing, haha. "Life is Frank", as I once read.

[boink666]

It's nice to see a story that's in an alternative format. Overall, I enjoyed it.