Implanted Conflict

[boink666]

A horror presented

We observe the scene

An impossible premise

On which corpses lean

A group torn apart

With intentions unknown

To build a story

Shocking when shown

An arrangement of minds

Too common to compare

That bring human tragedy

With no message to share

Underneath what we know

A deeper meaning resides

Intentional manipulation

Of people abides

With pretense of killing

People may gather

Upon what one says

Or what they do, rather

Entwined into illusions

They gather to feast

To bring about death

Or their manufactured beast

Upon a spree insane

They now rest coldly

Substitution for others

Their message, boldly

What cult to construct

A leader's deceit

Going in for murder

With views elite

Now lying in suicide

The two groups depart

All but the one

Responsible for this art

We will not see

But only observe

The story of massacre

Thus will unnerve

Edited September 22, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[lemmingllama]

I would say that the poem has an interesting concept, yet your wording isnt getting the ideas across properly. Try to either change or drop your rhyme scheme, it seems like a lot of the lines are being forced into place just so that you can make it rhyme. I would say to give this another go with free-verse and see how it turns out. On the flip side, there is some interesting imagery in there, so keep it up.

[boink666]

Thanks for the comment! I might post some free verse later, although it depends on how I feel.

[RoyyRoyy]

Brilliant:D