Sex

[-PHXN- New001]

Well yes I agree with all your views.

But come on, take a step back from this discussion. Do you want to have sex? Honestly.

My answer is absolutely yes.

That may not be your views, but I think for a majority of people sex IS pleasurible. I'm a virgin, of sorts, and I do plan on having sex this summer if not sooner.

[† Emotional Outlet]

It would not be beyond my means to go out and have sex whenever I wanted. Nothing is stopping me from hitting up some guy or girl and have a roll in the sack with them. Nothing is stopping me from taking up offers from the guys I hang out with during my off period and spending the rest of the period naked in their car or something. When I still dated, nothing was stopping me from welcoming their advances and having sex whenever they were at my house. When I had my friends with benefits, nothing was stopping me from taking it a step further, since I didn't have any real emotional connection or a feeling of possession and it would be an entirely no-strings-attached kind of situation--win-win for everyone.

But I didn't have sex with any of them, and I don't wish to have sex. Even if I was sexually active, I wouldn't be thinking about it in terms of when I should have it, of having a "goal". I don't plan having sex, having boyfriends or girlfriends, or anything of the like. If something happens, it happens, but I think I'm in enough control of myself to know what I want and how comfortable I am with it. And I feel secure enough in myself to be able to exist without sex, without having it consume my life. I don't rue the fact that I don't have to go into a histrionic rant about how high my sex drive is, how masturbation doesn't cut it for me anymore and even the slightest touch from other people drives me crazy, how hard life is because I'm gay and no one else is. (I actually saw someone complain about that kind of thing--made it difficult for me to take her seriously otherwise.) I enjoy my personal life the way it is--everything else is extra to me.

I think what a lot of people forget is that not everyone functions the same when it comes to sex. Not everyone is straight, not everyone has a sex drive, not everyone has the same fetishes, not everyone is monogamous--not everyone is the same. And when it comes to something as personal as sex, it shouldn't be surprising at all that not everyone is the same in any aspect of the topic.

Bottom line--I don't have any desire to have sex. Just like I have no desire to drink. My dad doesn't really care what I do, and all of the people I hang out with aren't exactly straight-edge. Nothing is stopping me from becoming an alcoholic, drug-addicted, chain-smoking nympho, but I don't want to do it. I'm not worried about reputation, about my physical or mental health, of what I'm doing to the people who think they're getting close to me by having sex with me. I just have no interest in it. I don't know how much clearer I can make this, how I can make people understand that some people don't have the same drive as others.

[-PHXN- New001]

This is JUST my opinion, and I will justify it in a second, so I didn't want a lengthy post about how I'm wrong...

I feel like your lying to yourselves.

Your trying to act more mature and wise than u actually are. And by you, I mean everyone who say they do not want to have sex.

This is just my opinion, but come on. you expect me to believe that you would not have sex for reasons such as... I didn't want to... And I feel no need to.

Thats total BS. Straight out BS. Your lying to yourselves if you are saying that you didn't want to have sex. Have you ever liked a guy or girl? than you've wanted to have sex.

Its plain and simple in my eyes.

I just feel like you guys are trying to act mature, and what your really not all about. Especially the guys who say that they don't have sex. You gotta understand that I am a very understanding person, and thats why I've kept my mouth shut to hear everyones opinions.

But theres no way in hell that what you are saying can be true. Seriously.

And I know your just gonna argue it and be like... "NO REALLY! I DONT WANA!" Well than your lying to yourself. Your putting up a fake face to act different.

Be yourself, and realistically you want sex. It is as natural as wanting a which ever sex you are attracted to when you have an erection, or wanting chocolate when you haver your period.

[Mujklob]

New001 ]Have you ever liked a guy or girl? than you've wanted to have sex. [...] I just feel like you guys are trying to act mature, and what your really not all about.

I think you're assuming a little too much there. Just because you "like" somebody, it doesn't mean you want to have sex with them. Now, if by "like" you mean "sexually attracted to" then by definition you might be correct. The id might say "That person's sexy! Go have sex with them!" but your superego might think things through and your ego may decide that you really don't want to. I'm fairly confident that a large chunk of people need a strong loving relationship before they truly want to have sex with their significant other.

As for the lying thing, not everyone wants to have sex. There are two very distinct parts of the psyche that control your reasoning, some people might act based on the other. And one can be honest and act mature all at the same time, it's really not that difficult.

[† Emotional Outlet]

(Mikey, looked like you stopped caring partway through your post. Yay for editing.)

I wasn't writing about how you're wrong. It would be easier to just say, "You're wrong, suck it" than it would be to say all that I've said. I'm only trying to present what I'm saying in a certain way, but I think you missed the point or I misrepresented my thoughts. And now I'm kind of cranky, so watch me ramble.

Stop assuming things about me and about humans in general. Stop trying to tell me I'm something I'm not because I don't fit your perception of all teenagers. I understand myself. I know that I don't have a strong sex drive and I have no problems with not having sex. I don't feel that I have to live up to anyone's expectations but my own, that since I have lived for so many years I should be fucking everything that moves. You cannot fairly judge such a private aspect of my personality as libido without basing it on stereotypes and your expectations of teenagers, especially considering that you know next to nothing about who I am.

I'm not trying to act like anything--it takes way too much effort to put up a facade than it is to speak frankly. If you think that I'm lying about who I am, then by all means go on thinking that, but at least I know that I'm being honest, and anyone that actually knows me knows that I wouldn't lie about something as trivial as my sexual drive. It's not my goal to convince anyone of anything, but it's infuriating when I speak honestly and people think I'm lying. What do I have to gain from lying about my sexual habits and desires? To look good in front of everyone? When have I ever cared about how I appear to people around here?

I should never have to tell someone not to tell me who I am, that I'm not trying to be something I'm not, or anything of the sort in a debate. I expect better of people than that, especially a moderator, especially in a thread that is meant to be serious.

No, I'm not denying that I've never felt sexually attracted to a person, that I never was turned on--I'm not a robot and I'm an emotional basket-case. But sex doesn't consume my life, and I have no conscious desire to have sex with anyone. None of those feelings--the momentary lust, whatever--have stayed with me long enough to make me think about becoming sexually active, whether it would be worth it at all. I'm not holding out on sex because I'm trying to maintain "purity". I'm not an innocent person. I've done my share of shit. I'm holding out because I have no desire to have sex. That's all it boils down to, and I know I'm repeating myself. I'm naturally loquacious, but I don't think that I speak/write in a convoluted way. Just excessively.

Obviously I've had romantic feelings for people, substantiated or not. Did you read my post at all? I stated explicitly that I used to date. Why the hell would I date someone if I didn't want sex nor had any feelings for them at all? Just for fun? So I can have someone hold all the books I carry home every day? So I have someone to play Mario Party with? I don't think so.

I don't understand why you're so bent out of shape because I said I don't want to have sex. Is it that hard to believe? Would it be easier for you to believe if I pretended to be a nympho and had sex with everyone that ever came onto me? Would it be easier for you to believe if I said I masturbated every night to hardcore fetish porn when I don't have someone to screw because they have headaches? Then I would be lying. But it would be easier for you to believe, wouldn't it? If I said that I was utterly consumed by my hormones just like a teenager should?

I'm not trying to act better than anyone, or tell people that they should be like me. I don't know how to convey what I'm saying in such a way that doesn't sound stuck-up or haughty, but it's not my intention to change anyone in any aspect--when I debate, I merely present my opinion and try to make it understood. I'm not here to change anyone because I know it would be fruitless, especially coming from a faceless stranger. I have no problems with other opinions, just that mine happen to be different.

Earlier, I made reference to an essay about different styles of love--I brought it up because it portrayed different types of loving and I thought his classification matched up well to my understanding of love. No type is better or worse than the other, and they're all valid and real. I understand that some people have higher sexual drives than me--that's fine. I don't care what people do in bed or what their desires are. Whatever makes them happy. But I'm just trying to get across the point that not everyone is the same--not everyone wants sex. All sexual drives and desires are valid and real--mine just happens to be lower than the norm.

[-PHXN- New001]

Sorry EO I just could motivate myself to read your whole post.

But you cant even say that I make up false preceptions.

I precieve, and its what I interpret it as. You have certainly pointed in your other posts that you have had the oppurtunity to have sex, and I GUARRENTEE that at one point you've thought about having it.

So I'm saying dont lie and say that you've NEVER wanted to. You can agree with me that's unrealistic.

My point was not that you have ever had sex, or that you ever want to have sex. If you read my post even the slightest you would see that it was my opinion that you have wanted to have sex, at one point or another.

And this is not a stereotype or a misconception it is the truth in the modern society we live in. Just sitting in health class, or being educated about it I can safely assume that you have thought if not wanted to have sex.

And once again I dont think you read my post correctly. I said clearly that it was that you have WANTED to have sex. That means at one point in time. And you said you have, my point is that other people are just going... EH I dont care. Thats the lie to me.

Your wrong so suck it.

haha jk

PS I just read ur post. And I dont see how you can not care about what people think of you. I certainly care very little about what people think, but I do care. And do say you dont care, I just dont think your being realistic. But becoming "cranky" as you said, that clearly shows that you do care that I challenged what you were saying.

And seriously. You dont have to be a stranger here. You were presistanly saying that I dont know anything about you, or that Other people dont know anything about you. That really shouldn't be a reason for argument. Rather it should be a reason to become friendly.

PSS: Mario Party RULES!

[† Emotional Outlet]

You can't give me a TL;DR and then tell me I'm wrong.

I don't recall saying I never wanted sex, but I do recall stating several times that it doesn't have much bearing on my life and I have no real, long-standing desire to have sex. And whether I have or not, what does it matter to you? You've "won" because I happen to be human and had a moment of carnality? (Just checked my posts and I have not stated anywhere that I never wanted to have sex. And I did state, albeit implicitly, that I would only have sex to procreate.)

I never said you were wrong, and I have no idea what you're trying to achieve here. So you're just bent out of shape because I said I don't want to have to sex, and you just want me to admit that I have thought of it? What, exactly, will that achieve? Where's the debate if that's the crux of your posts, that "everyone" has "thought" of having sex?

I don't think it fair to state that everyone has thought of having sex. I don't think it dawns upon all people to consummate their relationship to that point. And I think it obvious that most young children and toddlers have never thought to have sex, so it's not "everyone".

"When have I ever cared about how I appear to people around here?"

Around here being FM. I don't care what people I don't care about think of me.

It's not so much I cared that you challenged me, but rather that you decided to call me a liar, that I wasn't being honest to myself or to others. It's a pretty lofty thing to call me a liar. I don't think I misunderstood the part in which you called me a liar.

It's my choice to be a stranger. I don't want anyone I don't trust or like to know me, and I refuse to become friendly if I have no desire to. I am not here to make friends or make myself known. I am here to have a discussion and waste time.

Regardless, I only bring that point up because it's pretty goddamn low to call me a liar when you know nothing of me. I am not going to "get to know you" and have you "get to know me" just to prove that I am not a liar. It's a waste of my time and anyone that's worth anything to me already knows I'm not.

[-PHXN- New001]

I mean that you we lieing to yourself saying that you had never wanted to have sex. Thats the only thing I was saying. I didnt mean it as an attack.

And calling someone "goddamn low" doesn't exactly help now does it?

I feel like I've been keeping a cool-head about this.

[Guest Sasy's Girl]

Sex in today's society has been torn, ripped, shredded, burned, and the ashes were thrown in the ocean.

It upset's me to see so many people abuse such a beautiful thing. Sex to me is a sacred bond between two people who love eachother. Its a factor of Love. You can express your love for someone with Sex. Its what ties two people physically, and especially emotionally together.

IMO, anyways.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Sex is still sacred to some people--just not according to popular media. Anyway, I don't think it should matter what other people think of it--if it's sacred to you and to the one(s) you love, then that's all that matters. You aren't going to be screwing the entire world. =P

Lol, hella old thread. I wasn't referring to you as being low, PHXN, but okay. I was referring to your action--id est, calling me a liar. I don't know how many times I have to say I never said I planned on never having sex.

"I don't recall saying I never wanted sex, but I do recall stating several times that it doesn't have much bearing on my life and I have no real, long-standing desire to have sex. And whether I have or not, what does it matter to you? You've "won" because I happen to be human and had a moment of carnality? (Just checked my posts and I have not stated anywhere that I never wanted to have sex. And I did state, albeit implicitly, that I would only have sex to procreate.)"

Reading comprehension.

Calling me a liar is an attack--I don't know where you live that such allegations aren't considered attacks, but that's irrelevant because the Internet is open to anyone with a computer and access to it.

[-PHXN- New001]

Indeed an old thread.

And I probably skipped over that part cause I didnt feel like reading your novel of a post

See I think the beauty of sex, is it will never stop.

Even if females could self impregnate, do you think sex would ever stop? Absolutely not.

There lies the essence.

Even if all woman in the world became unfertile, sex would still continue. I think using that as proof I can comfortably say that sex is now a recreational event... and should be thought as in that way.

The only difference being the pregnancy factor.

[† Emotional Outlet]

I don't have any idea what you're talking about.

If you think my posts are long, you're going to have fun in college. The longest post I have in this thread is 904 words according to Word's count--I have written just over three thousand words for fun, and not even in the context of a story. I can be much more long-winded if I wanted to.

What I write isn't nearly as dense as any college or high school textbook. I may not be succinct by most standards, but I am not the most verbose person on the planet. I have seen debates in which every single post was at least a thousand words long--because they were actually reading what other people were writing and actually having a discussion.

I see little discussion here. What I have seen is me being called a liar and grief for having lengthy posts--neither of which have any real place in a debate or discussion; particularly since there is no cut and dry answers in a topic such as this. I don't bother other people about the length of their posts--I don't tell people who only write a few lines that I didn't read their post because it was too short and therefore says nothing of importance. I don't judge by length in an informal setting, and I don't see why it should even be brought up--if you're too lazy to read my posts, then don't tell me I'm wrong when you don't even know what I'm saying. I spelt out what I was saying several times.

I'd like to see you try that on a paper for school--give a TL;DR to an English teacher some time. I'm sure they'd love it.

[-PHXN- New001]

Woah OE, I'm sorry if you're taking offense to it.

I certainly didn't mean it that way, and I would call anyones long post a novel of a post.

Don't take me literally, If everything I said was taken literally... I would probably never post on forums.

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way and I hope your not going to think different of me just because I exaggerate and am extreme in matters.

And this debate is not about me being lazy, if I am lazy its my personal fault for not reading your posts, and when you highlight things you've covered already that I was clearly not patient enough to read... I thank you for it.

I hope that we can keep this mature and drop this matter, I am sorry for my impatience and laziness and I hope you can accept this apology and we continue with this debate.

I'll try to read your whole posts and to bring everything into consideration and I hope you will not be as sensitive to my posts seeing how I do not mean any personal attacks to you, or anyone else involved in this debate. I simply meant to say that I was not feeling complete honesty in this debate and I hope you don't hold that against me.

I accept that you are clearly a more academic person, and to be completely honest I do not read any of the books I am given. To be completely honest, I get the audio book... and call it a day. So yes I am of the TD;DR view, and will continue with that because I am academically lazy.

That is to say academically lazy, I am in no way physically lazy, and I hope that you can understand that I have a separation between the two. I excel at my job as a lifeguard, and am even in honor roll as a student.

I will be the first one to admit that I am lazy academically, probably a good portion goes to substance abuse, but I will not make excuses to why I have not read your posts.

Again I am sorry, I think that explains it, and I hope that there is no aggression in between us.

To the topic of sex- Read my previous post,

It will continue, and I believe it has become a recreational even in our modern society.

408 words… not bad

[Crystal Shards]

Meh. Sex is sex. I don't see what the big deal is. I mean to be quite simple, it's used for procreation. Yes, it's fun. But so is riding a rollercoaster. So is eating ice cream. So is watching a movie or playing sports or reading a book. Get over it.

~Crystal

[-PHXN- New001]

Just as a side note, I know you didn't mean anything by it, but it is a debate and there is no "Get over it".

No biggie, just this is where the debates happen.

And everything that you have said I have said alread, and I fully agree with

It has become a recreational event, if not a living for some.

[† Emotional Outlet]

"Sex is sex."

Maybe for some.

But that's only one mindset. Not everyone has the same view.

This is my main point, for those who don't care to read on. The rest is elaboration.

"it's used for procreation"

Why do same-sex couples have sex? Hoping for some magical conception? Why do sterile people have sex? Wishful thinking?

Some people do only have sex to pass on their genes and then channel whatever sexual energy they may have into other things because sex doesn't interest them, whether as a means of entertainment, stress relief, or expression of love.

But again. Only one mindset out of many.

"Yes, it's fun. But so is riding a rollercoaster. So is eating ice cream. So is watching a movie or playing sports or reading a book."

I personally don't find eating very fun.

I don't necessarily want to ride a roller coaster because I feel something deeper for it other than, "Hey. This is fun. Whee!" Same for anything else I do for fun. I love my video games to an almost unhealthy degree, but it's nothing deep or emotional. I don't think you can compare what happens between two or more people to actions with inanimate objects.

At its very core, yes, sex is little more than a means to procreate and relieve sexual tension. But not everyone takes things at its basest--rather, they attach meaning to it, attach significance to it. While you may see sex as being something base and insignificant, many others do not share this view.

"I don't see what the big deal is."

It's a big deal to any virgin who is about to do something very intimate with someone important to them. It's a big deal to the person who is about to have sex with someone after decades of getting no action--maybe they're a widow, or someone who just went through a messy divorce after believing for so long that their loving marriage could never be torn apart. For some, there's a lot of emotional and mental aspects to it that doesn't allow them to do it easily or think of it as being something as mundane or insignificant as showering or clipping nails.

Sex can be very important for some people. It's not a big deal to a lot of people (exempli gratia, asexuals), but many people do think it a big deal, do think it to be very important, do attach meanings to it and call it "making love" instead of just "having sex" or any of the other "cruder" terms when it involves them and someone very important to them; just as there are people who only think it in terms of its most basic purposes.

"Get over it."

There is nothing to get over--except maybe any irritation, hatred, or other negativity towards other views of sex in which all parties are consenting and aware. (Thus ruling out rape, deception [adults tricking minors into having sex with them], and other things deemed illegal or otherwise viewed as highly immoral and worth receiving punishment for by consensus.)

[Crystal Shards]

I know what sex is like. I'm not a virgin. And yes, there is a, "Get over it," for those who sit there and think about it all day long and lust for it all the time. It's an addiction for a lot of people and they really need to get help. I know what a debate is, thank you, and I know how to debate.

I was just listing some ideas of stuff that people find fun, but it's rare you'll see someone obsessing over it (except maybe in the case of video games). I don't know anyone who's obsessed with eating ice cream or riding roller coasters, though I know a lot of people who enjoy doing those things. I do know people who are obsessed with sex, even if they haven't had it.

I know how important sex can be, but I also know that it shouldn't define a relationship, which is what happens more often than a lot of people admit. That's all I'm saying. It can help or hinder a relationship but it shouldn't be the core of it.

So I still don't see what the big deal is.

~Crystal

[-PHXN- New001]

Actually video game addiction is a large issue. It can go back to how a baby was maternally raised.

Also if you look at the role of sex in an ecology point of view, its a huge issue especially in developing countries.

It contributes to death rates and mortality rates.

In places such as Kenya where birth control is being stabilized the issue is now AIDs, which is lowering the life expectancy to the mid 40s.

So ecologically sex plays a HUGE role in the world.

I think one of the problems is that we're looking at it from a western point of view.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Crystal: Ooh, that's different from what I interpreted from your original post.

I agree that it's not a big deal in that it's nothing worth obsessing over and that all types of relationships should be defined by it, but it still can be important depending on the situation.

I still don't think "get over it" is applicable--maybe "get help" or "channel your sexual tension elsewhere". =P

[Crystal Shards]

...which is essentially, "Get over it."

Lol.

Some people don't need help. They don't need to release any sexual tension. They just simply need to get over it. Sex is there. Big whoop.

~Crystal