Greeting and Talking to Strangers

[Alice]

Nothing turns sour initially, but it isn't long and they do something which is bad toward me. I hate people putting a friendly face to me only to back-stab me later. Granted I don't have to deal with many people anymore. I'm a stay=at=home mom now and spend most of my days at home with Sakura. I only go out when I've got appointments and grocery shopping trips. Every now and then I will go hang out with a friend...but it is very rare. I'm pretty much a hermit...LOL As long as I have what I need then I have know use in going outside the house.

 

I hadn't checked back on this thread for some time and it seems to of stopped dead at one point but I thought I'd post nonetheless and enquire into your issues DC. You seem to say that most ppl you meet betray you later and turn sour to you, I don't mean to sound mean but if it's happening with every new person you meet do you think it could be something you do to turn them against you? Because in my experience not everyone is born to betray everyone they meet otherwise our lives would be very lonely and everyone would be getting backstabbed constantly so yeah.

This is a used to be and only in real life.  I've never met any here like that or any online areas.  In RL thou...I don't actually meet anyone anymore.  This was more of a school thing...years ago.  I already know I suck with human relationship, I don't deny that.  I probably drive them away...but causing them to back-stab is not something I can be guilty of.  I have never back-stabbed anyone nor do I plan to.   I can see people not wanting to be my friend for many reasons...how I grew up made me develop a certain attitude is not what most can take.  Those who can and have for years now are my true friends.  I'm working on my outlook on life...Sakura helps me greatly with that.

[Breathless]

If they're around my age and female, I'll give them a smile. 'Hello.'
If they're male, I'll give them that head-bop thing. 'Sup'.
If they're much younger than me, I kind of ignore them.
If they're older than me, (middle aged), I'll give them a smile regardless of gender. 'Hello.'
If they're much older than me, (senior), I'll give them a "Good morning/afternoon" depending on the time. 'Good morning/Afternoon'

That's generally what I do anyway. It's not a script ofcourse, what I do will depend on how they act/react.
 

That being said, their body language is a key factor. If they have that kinda feel where it's like "talk to me and I'll end you", I generally leave them alone.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Is the head bop your way of establishing your coolness, haha.

 

I smile and say hello to most customers around the library, especially the little ones! Sometimes when I'm shelving, I'll ask them if they like certain things--like a kid'll grab a Thomas DVD off the shelf, so I'll ask if they like to watch Thomas. Sometimes they say he's their favourite, sometimes they say no?? And then look at me confused?? It's pretty funny.

 

Some of the landscapers around here are total jackasses. They'll make kissy noises at me and make stupid comments like I'm stupid and/or deaf. One dude came right at me on a standing mower on the sidewalk, and I was just like, really? You're gonna try to run me over on the sidewalk?

 

And then sometimes I'll walk by people who won't move out of my way when I'm on the sidewalk. Usually I just move out of the way myself, but then I was like, why should I be the one who always has to move? Why don't they move? So I'll just stay on the left side of the sidewalk where I always am and most times people will swerve, so I'll give them a mutual swerve to increase the gap.

 

But then some people won't even move until the last minute. Like one dude almost shoulder checked me, I was about to whip out my umbrella and rain unholy terror upon him. u-u

[Breathless]

Yep! Head bopping (or is it bobbing?) ensures that I'm one of the coolest!

The sidewalk almost sounds more dangerous than the road! You should fight them! (or not, it might be dangerous) But then again, you do have an umbrella! (maybe?)

At work, I have to give a friendly smile to everyone and say Hello. I'm afraid to tease them when I take their money, but I hear that's what you're meant to do. I normally stay quiet when I win, but make a huge fuss when they get get blackjack, or whatever. I like it when people talk to me at work. Unless it's about work. Then I hate it. (I'm not allowed to influence what they do, whether it's negative or positive).

If a child is alone, I'll talk to them and ask if they're lost. But, yeah, generally they're not, so I just ignore them. I used to volunteer at this day-care park kind of thing. It's basically just making sure the kids don't fight / hurt themselves. Fun times.

[Dark_Angel13]

 

Nothing turns sour initially, but it isn't long and they do something which is bad toward me. I hate people putting a friendly face to me only to back-stab me later. Granted I don't have to deal with many people anymore. I'm a stay=at=home mom now and spend most of my days at home with Sakura. I only go out when I've got appointments and grocery shopping trips. Every now and then I will go hang out with a friend...but it is very rare. I'm pretty much a hermit...LOL As long as I have what I need then I have know use in going outside the house.

 

I hadn't checked back on this thread for some time and it seems to of stopped dead at one point but I thought I'd post nonetheless and enquire into your issues DC. You seem to say that most ppl you meet betray you later and turn sour to you, I don't mean to sound mean but if it's happening with every new person you meet do you think it could be something you do to turn them against you? Because in my experience not everyone is born to betray everyone they meet otherwise our lives would be very lonely and everyone would be getting backstabbed constantly so yeah.

This is a used to be and only in real life.  I've never met any here like that or any online areas.  In RL thou...I don't actually meet anyone anymore.  This was more of a school thing...years ago.  I already know I suck with human relationship, I don't deny that.  I probably drive them away...but causing them to back-stab is not something I can be guilty of.  I have never back-stabbed anyone nor do I plan to.   I can see people not wanting to be my friend for many reasons...how I grew up made me develop a certain attitude is not what most can take.  Those who can and have for years now are my true friends.  I'm working on my outlook on life...Sakura helps me greatly with that.

 

You do realise that if you think you suck at human relationships and that you drive ppl away that you probably give off horrible body languague which is like 90% of communication. Like Breathless said in one of his posts, if someone has the TALK TO ME AND I'LL END YOU look then you arent gonna go near them, so if you have some sort of FML!  look they'll probs avoid you too, I dont know many people who go after sad ppl as friends and whatnot and I wasnt saying you force ppl to backstab, I was saying maybe you do something ppl dont like which is why they dont remain your friends. Good that you're working on this though.

 

 

But then some people won't even move until the last minute. Like one dude almost shoulder checked me, I was about to whip out my umbrella and rain unholy terror upon him. u-u

 

Everyone must be obliterated by the umbrella of doom!

[† Emotional Outlet]

Like I mentioned before, I met a lot of folk when I was in the military and when I was growing up as a military dependant, and the douchebag to nice people ratio was heavily weighted towards nice people.

 

I will say that people who flaunt Marilyn Monroe's "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best" and things like "I'm a bitch, DWI" tend to turn me off from them immediately, because to me that says, "I am a terrible human being. I acknowledge that I do things to hurt people and I don't care enough about people who aren't me to do anything about it."

 

To be fair, I mostly saw this on Myspace, and my patience for it was much greater. If I see it on Tumblr or Facebook, I either block the person or roll my eyes so hard that I can see the inner depths of my soul.

 

There's a difference between acknowledging you have an issue and assuming that issue is an inextricable part of you. I'm very shy and withdrawn. I'm terrified of telephones and get nervous when I have to help customers. I'm also very hard on myself and think I am the worst person to ever walk this planet. I don't know why people like me or think I'm a great person when in reality I am a shitstain. I don't know why I get up in the morning.

That anxiety and depression isn't me. It's a problem I have, it's something I have to deal with, but it's not me.

 

I'm a loving and generous person who likes to help others. I enjoy listening to people and being there for them. I'm the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back if you really honestly needed it. I'm someone with a great love of life and a sense of wonder that hasn't ever left me. I'm a bright and positive person who doesn't shy away from hard work, someone who enjoys the process of making something that's mine as much as I did as a child.

 

Anxiety and depression gets in the way of who I actually am. I am not my problems. Others have seen that. It wasn't until recently, when I actually got help for it, that I saw that.

 

Don't let your issues define you. It sucks. I say that as much to you as I do myself.

 

Whether what all I said is relevant and meaningful to you, Dreamcastor, is to your discretion. Many of my friends have been pulled from work, have been on medication, and have seen therapists to help them get past their problems. I have been on medication and have seen therapists. I have been pulled from work because of it. It doesn't mean you're broken or that you can't be the person you want to be.

 

My patience for people who know they have a problem but do nothing about it is very thin indeed, so it's nice to hear you are making an effort.

 

Yep! Head bopping (or is it bobbing?) ensures that I'm one of the coolest!

The sidewalk almost sounds more dangerous than the road! You should fight them! (or not, it might be dangerous) But then again, you do have an umbrella! (maybe?)

[...]  I like it when people talk to me at work. Unless it's about work. Then I hate it. (I'm not allowed to influence what they do, whether it's negative or positive).

If a child is alone, I'll talk to them and ask if they're lost. But, yeah, generally they're not, so I just ignore them. I used to volunteer at this day-care park kind of thing. It's basically just making sure the kids don't fight / hurt themselves. Fun times.

 

I accept whatever term you use, haha.

 

And the purse I use now is big enough to hold a small umbrella, so I always have an umbrella on me. I think I need a can of pepper spray to round out my purse, though. None of them have approached me directly because whenever I see them, I either cross the street or have this look on my face that says, "Mess with me and I will murder you" as I stalk stiffly past them. The day any of them try to talk to me after making kissy noises and lewd comments, though, is the day you all see me on the evening news for murder--theirs, not mine.

 

When I was in the military, I hated talking about work with certain people, and that was because they were the negative brigade. Get them started on work and immediately it became a six hour rant-fest about how horrible the military is and how bad these people are and everything sucks and it's sooooo awful. I got real tired of that real quick.

 

Parents like to let their kids run free in the library even though they're not supposed to. They're lucky the place isn't staffed with lunatics, and that most of us pay attention to which adults the kids came in with, haha.

[Alice]

 

 

Nothing turns sour initially, but it isn't long and they do something which is bad toward me. I hate people putting a friendly face to me only to back-stab me later. Granted I don't have to deal with many people anymore. I'm a stay=at=home mom now and spend most of my days at home with Sakura. I only go out when I've got appointments and grocery shopping trips. Every now and then I will go hang out with a friend...but it is very rare. I'm pretty much a hermit...LOL As long as I have what I need then I have know use in going outside the house.

 

I hadn't checked back on this thread for some time and it seems to of stopped dead at one point but I thought I'd post nonetheless and enquire into your issues DC. You seem to say that most ppl you meet betray you later and turn sour to you, I don't mean to sound mean but if it's happening with every new person you meet do you think it could be something you do to turn them against you? Because in my experience not everyone is born to betray everyone they meet otherwise our lives would be very lonely and everyone would be getting backstabbed constantly so yeah.

This is a used to be and only in real life.  I've never met any here like that or any online areas.  In RL thou...I don't actually meet anyone anymore.  This was more of a school thing...years ago.  I already know I suck with human relationship, I don't deny that.  I probably drive them away...but causing them to back-stab is not something I can be guilty of.  I have never back-stabbed anyone nor do I plan to.   I can see people not wanting to be my friend for many reasons...how I grew up made me develop a certain attitude is not what most can take.  Those who can and have for years now are my true friends.  I'm working on my outlook on life...Sakura helps me greatly with that.

 

You do realise that if you think you suck at human relationships and that you drive ppl away that you probably give off horrible body languague which is like 90% of communication. Like Breathless said in one of his posts, if someone has the TALK TO ME AND I'LL END YOU look then you arent gonna go near them, so if you have some sort of FML!  look they'll probs avoid you too, I dont know many people who go after sad ppl as friends and whatnot and I wasnt saying you force ppl to backstab, I was saying maybe you do something ppl dont like which is why they dont remain your friends. Good that you're working on this though.

 

 

>But then some people won't even move until the last minute. Like one dude almost shoulder checked me, I was about to whip out my umbrella and rain unholy terror upon him. u-u

 

Everyone must be obliterated by the umbrella of doom!

 

 

 

I've gotten a lot better since back then.  I'm able to talk to people now.  I used to hate talking people.   Because of how I grew up...I was afraid of people and getting close to them. Not as much anymore... thou, my guard is usually up still. Just gotta keep working on it.  Sakura is my biggest motivation.   I want her to be able to have friends and stuff.  I want her to have everything I did not.

[Dark_Angel13]

 

You do realise that if you think you suck at human relationships and that you drive ppl away that you probably give off horrible body languague which is like 90% of communication. Like Breathless said in one of his posts, if someone has the TALK TO ME AND I'LL END YOU look then you arent gonna go near them, so if you have some sort of FML! look they'll probs avoid you too, I dont know many people who go after sad ppl as friends and whatnot and I wasnt saying you force ppl to backstab, I was saying maybe you do something ppl dont like which is why they dont remain your friends. Good that you're working on this though.

 

 

Okay so this is what I said and below is your answer.

 

I've gotten a lot better since back then.  I'm able to talk to people now.  I used to hate talking people.   Because of how I grew up...I was afraid of people and getting close to them. Not as much anymore... thou, my guard is usually up still. Just gotta keep working on it.  Sakura is my biggest motivation.   I want her to be able to have friends and stuff.  I want her to have everything I did not.

 

 

You didn't address any of the things I said AT ALL, all you basically said was you're better now and then you mentioned Sakura again. But w.e I was just trying to help and you repeated your last post practically so yeah, kinda makes it clear you dont want help even when it is offered.

 

 

 

 

 

[Alice]

 

I've gotten a lot better since back then.  I'm able to talk to people now.  I used to hate talking people.   Because of how I grew up...I was afraid of people and getting close to them. Not as much anymore... thou, my guard is usually up still. Just gotta keep working on it.  Sakura is my biggest motivation.   I want her to be able to have friends and stuff.  I want her to have everything I did not.

 

 

You didn't address any of the things I said AT ALL, all you basically said was you're better now and then you mentioned Sakura again. But w.e I was just trying to help and you repeated your last post practically so yeah, kinda makes it clear you dont want help even when it is offered.

 

 

I didn't realize I was expected to address anything you said nor did I realize you were trying to help and for that I will apologize.  What you said is something I've heard a million times before and isn't something that is so easy to change. I do have all those problem you said..and I did address that by saying...and I quote "I'm working on my outlook on life" and "Just gotta keep working on it." 

 

Was it too subtle?  I thought it was clear enough.  I didn't really have anything more too say.  I know my faults, you stated most of them, and I replied to it.  I repeated some of because you didn't seem to understand what I said before.  I hope I wrote clearly this time for you to be able to understand.  Forgive me for not writing clearly enough to be understood.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Dreamcastor Rei

[Dark_Angel13]

 

 

I've gotten a lot better since back then.  I'm able to talk to people now.  I used to hate talking people.   Because of how I grew up...I was afraid of people and getting close to them. Not as much anymore... thou, my guard is usually up still. Just gotta keep working on it.  Sakura is my biggest motivation.   I want her to be able to have friends and stuff.  I want her to have everything I did not.

 

 

You didn't address any of the things I said AT ALL, all you basically said was you're better now and then you mentioned Sakura again. But w.e I was just trying to help and you repeated your last post practically so yeah, kinda makes it clear you dont want help even when it is offered.

 

 

I didn't realize I was expected to address anything you said nor did I realize you were trying to help and for that I will apologize.  What you said is something I've heard a million times before and isn't something that is so easy to change. I do have all those problem you said..and I did address that by saying...and I quote "I'm working on my outlook on life" and "Just gotta keep working on it." 

 

Was it too subtle?  I thought it was clear enough.  I didn't really have anything more too say.  I know my faults, you stated most of them, and I replied to it.  I repeated some of because you didn't seem to understand what I said before.  I hope I wrote clearly this time for you to be able to understand.  Forgive me for not writing clearly enough to be understood.

 

 

 

It isn't an issue of me understanding your subtleness WHICH I DID anyway, it was the fact you didn't say anything else except for that. I'm done with this conversation now.

[Zanco]

Yeah, I'm a pretty friendly fuck. I always greet people and make conversations with them, even when I was younger. I'm not really saying you can go and do this every where with every one because I found out from living in Puerto Rico, that people will start a fight with you just for looking at them. You just have to be a proper judge of character. It's okay to profile people when it comes to "Life or Death" situations. ; D

[† Emotional Outlet]

Okay yes, enough of that specific conversation. Neither of you are moving on the topic, so any further replies will be removed.

 

===

 

Haha, it's pretty easy to "profile" people around here. For the most part library customers are very friendly, and even the folk I pass by on the sidewalk. It's just a few douches who make my life miserable by honking at me on the street and stupid stuff like that. I'll never understand why people think that's okay.

[Zanco]

Well You should be flattered in a sense, I'm not trying to justify it but they must be attracted to you in some way shape or form. Be it sexual or self-gratification.  Not to say I haven't done that before, but you're right about it objectifying women and subjecting them to a common stereotype- Which is wrong. 

[† Emotional Outlet]

It's not flattering to be treated that way, haha. It makes me feel extremely unsafe, and I generally only walk during broad daylight. I understand where you're coming from, but I'm glad forward motion is being made on cracking down on street harassment and catcalls.

[Alice]

I too only walk in broad daylight.  I used to be a night walker, but after getting attacked by three guys outside my home one night coming home...I've been to afraid to even be outside at night alone.  Used to not at all...but now I will as long as I'm with someone, but I'm constantly looking over my shoulder.

 

I have to agree with EO on the "flattery" thing.  It would also not feel comfortable to be treated that way...not really flattering.  LOL

[lolrawr]

The campus at my school is really big so there's many areas where there can be dark spots during the night.  So we have this thing set up where you can call the campus police and they can escort you places.  I've never used it though.  I like the feeling at night when everything's empty.

 

This one night my friend and I were on campus late at night (I don't remember why).  We were walking to our cars and there's this alley thing in between the baseball and football fields.  I had to almost literally drag the guy through it.  He wanted to take another route to avoid it, but it would have taken longer.  We made it back alive though so all was good.  Lol he's one of those guys who thinks that the school cameras are always tracking him and stuff so he overreacts sometimes.

[† Mute point]

I try to be friendly and greet random strangers, and sometimes have conversations with them, but it doesn't always work. Everyone understands a wave or a smile, but very few understand sign language. So for a conversation, I have to take a moment to whip out the netbook to talk to them with.

 

Another issue is that, a lot of people seem to be in a hurry all the time.

 

I'm not really worried about running into anyone really crazy. I live in a fairly small area, not a lot of bad things happen here... And I happen to be very good at the kicking of the butt. (Actually it's usually the knees... they are much more vulnerable than the butt.) So if I actually do meet a crazy sociopath/wannabe rapist. I can probably take them down or get away.

[Alice]

I'm not really worried about running into anyone really crazy. I live in a fairly small area, not a lot of bad things happen here... And I happen to be very good at the kicking of the butt. (Actually it's usually the knees... they are much more vulnerable than the butt.) So if I actually do meet a crazy sociopath/wannabe rapist. I can probably take them down or get away.

 

I also used to not worry.  I don't live in a city...just a very small little neighborhood.  That one night thou changed everything....not to mention that concussion was nothing but a massive migraine that lasted six months.  I've had some random conversation on the public transit.  Some of them turned out really well.