The One Who Rebels Against Fate

[Rezin King]

Prologue:

The smoke had started to clear and the noise began to slowly drift off into silence. The young man awoke face first in a puddle of blood and he could feel the pain burning like an inferno. If only he had been stronger he thought as he clutched he side with blood dripping from the hole in his armor. He got up slowly and looked at the remains of what was once a beautiful field now turned to a graveyard populated by the bodies of the recently deceased. As he hobbled along he noticed the bodies of his comrades and what few of the enemy they managed to kill. By all rights he thought he should be dead but fate tends to be a cruel mistress always twisting the destinies of man into her choosing. He headed straight never to look back for he knew he had a purpose now and that was to stop the Followers of the Blood Moon. He would topple the government and rip the world asunder to do so because they were the ones responsible for the corruption that turned brother against brother and the death of his family. Only time will tell if this man is truly powerful enough to rebel against this dark fate that casts its shadow on a once bright tomorrow.

please tell me what you think and also if you want to join the story please just give me the usual details and ill see if I can work it out and please guys give me some critiquing along the way

Edited September 22, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[Libitinarius]

The idea seems pretty cool, would have to elaborate on the "blood moon" concept. I will help support your story if you want. XD

[† Emotional Outlet]

Haha, it almost reads like the story introduction in a video game pamphlet (I KNOW--WHO READS THOSE, AMIRITE). I do hope you continue it. It seems interesting!

[Rezin King]

thanks and id plan to continue to write it latehe blood moon will be explaes tr on today and y

thanks you two i will write some more later on today and i will eventually explain the blood moon concept

[lemmingllama]

This sounds like a good intro to a story, of course more details and more story would be appreciated. As for crtiticism, there was one sentance in particular that really bothered me

"By all rights he thought he should be dead but fate tends to be a cruel mistress always twisting the destinies of man into her choosing."

It needs some kind of punctuation or to be played around with, it just doesnt convey what it needs to properly

[Rezin King]

thanks for the constructive criticism

[Rezin King]

Chapter 1

Rebel Against the Wind

The trip was long and agonizing but the young man finally made it to the town of Solus, Mericosia. The young man was weak from his injuries and exhausted so he finally gave in and passed out. Luckily even though he was outside the town a young woman happened to be collecting herbs and spotted him.

"Ugh where am I," said the young man as he awoke from his deep slumber and noticed a professionally don bandage job on his left arm and his right side. He could still feel the burning sensation and constant throbbing but all bleeding had stopped. He took in his surroundings and noticed some nice oak furniture, some different trinkets, and an Apothecary's station which was the reason he was still alive right now. Suddenly he heard the foot steps of what he assumed was his rescuer. He started to get nervous as he could feel the tension start to build.

"Well hello there sunshine, how are we doing," said the sweat woman with the voice that very well belonged on an angelic choir. She came in delivering a tray of the most delicious smelling food in all of megnium. The man could feelhis mouth water as this was the first meal he had seen in three days. As he stared at the food he looked at the woman who nodded at him as a sign of approval for him to start eating. When he was eating however he noticed how beautiful she was but he should not think such thoughts.

"How's the food," said the woman with a smile on her face which could brighten even the darkest of days.

"Great, thank you," the man said as he swallowed the food in his mouth.

"By the way what is your name," he asked putting his silverware down and politely wiping his face.

"Lilanel Saren Von Hyras," said the woman hoping that he wouldn't know her secret.

"Well my name is Tyrn Alric RiftRizer," said the man with his own demons to keep.

"Well get some rest you have to heal up," Said Lianel as she gathered the dishes.

That night as well as every night that week Tyrn started having strange dreams. Sometimes he would dream of his recent battle and the corpses of his comrades asking him why he didn't save them. Other nights he would dream of a mysterious place with a stone that seemed to call out for him.

[Rezin King]

Here is some concept art for the story

And if anyone has better drawing talent or just wants to do some artwork please feel free I would love to see other peoples interpretations. Also I'm still thinking of how to do the next chapter okay so I'll try to do that soon.

[† Emotional Outlet]

I'm having some issues seeing the images under the spoilers, but going to the links directly worked. Interesting map, though! Seems you've put a lot of thought into it. Hope to see more soon!

[Libitinarius]

I love that your putting forth the effort to get creative. My personal favorite would be #3, he has a bad ass outfit to go with his blade. I agree with EO, the map is an awesome start towards something cool if you continue to build it.

[Rezin King]

Chapter 2

Rebel Stands Tall

It has been two full weeks since Tyrn had first come to Solus injured but now he was starting to get better. Tyrn was trying to get back in shape via push ups, running, and practicing fighting on a tree trunk. Each day he was doing this routine as Lilanel watched him through her window. Then he would come inside get a shower and help Lilanel prepare supper. One day Lilanel was running out of supplies so she decided to take Tyrn to meet the towns folk.

"Tyrn would you like to join me in a trip to the market" said Lilanel as she waved at him to get his attention.

"Sure, I'll join you"Tyrn said as he rushed off to join Lilanel in her car.

They traveled to the market place which was nothing like the one Tyrn had saw in Ond'e his home town. This market place had everything one could ever ask for and the nicest people one could ask to deal with. As he followed Lilanel to a produce vendor he noticed a sword vendor just across the way. He went over to take a look when all of a sudden he heard a voice booming over the market place.

"Leave while you all still can or give us all your goods otherwise you are all dead" said a man with unnaturally greyish collored skin and dark red eyes that can pierce through the the most stable of men.

As Tyrn saw this his instincts took over and he yelled at the man.

"You and your gang should leave or Ill be forced to use force" said Tyrn with a look of determination as the man and his gang of bandits laughed.

"Boy I think you should keep that mouth of yours shut unless you want to see these towns folk hurt and these women being raped" said the bandit leader with a crooked smile on his face

The bandits then started to attack, but Tyrn leapt into action as he use his melee combat skills to knock out the first two bandits. Then he grabbed a piece of fruit and threw it at the other bandit to get his attention then proceeded to slam him to the groung with enough force to knock the wind out of him. This left only the leader and his two lackeys who proceeded to pull out swords and assault rifles. As Tyrn ducked the barrage of bullets he was able to grab a pistol and shoot the arms of both bandit lackeys so they could not fire their guns anymore. then tyrn shot both hands of the leader then proceeded to punch him a couple times.

"We surrender" said the bandit leader as he looked at Tyrn and thought he was the spawn of the devil himself.

"Never come back" said Tyrn as he gave a glare at the bandit leader.

After they left the mayor himself gave him a medal as well as told Tyrn that anything he needed in the marketplace was his to take on him.

"Very well then I'll also be getting all of Lilanel's supplies too" Said Tyrn as he went to the sword vendor asking for the best sword in which he was given the legendary sword the guardian.

He then went to the armor shop and grabbed the best Divinusa Armor they had. After that He got some ammo for his gun, which was enough to take down a small army. And lastly he got some Vlits Astral Roses and gave them to Lilanel. The two then left and headed back to Lilanel's house for the night to sweep over them and give them a good night sleep. Unfortunately though Tyrn was still dreaming about the mysterious grotto.

[Rezin King]

I hope everyone enjoys oh and forward any ideas, questions, or comments to me okay

[Rezin King]

more concept art

[jobonline20]

i don't know if it was only me who felt it, the fight scene was over the moment it started(too fast) may be it should have been dragged out a bit, like his fighting techniques etc...

overall it was a good read. and why does he need a sword when he has a gun

[Rezin King]

well it is true i kinda rushed the fight scene but the reason he has a sword is ive always believed that a sword is a true warriors weapon plus ive always loved animes with huge sword fight scenes

[jobonline20]

hey, i was just kidding with the sword comment, even i like sword fights over gunfight, watching/reading about someone breaking their foot in someones ass, is way better than putting a bullet in someone.

may be you can make some unique stunts of his own to drag out the fight, give the sword some flair, make it do something awesome in fights etc., because in this kind of story, fights are an integral part and the more interesting they are the better.

[Rezin King]

im just not as detailed with gun fights but youll hopefully love my sword fights btw ill be working on chapter 3 later today

[Rezin King]

Chapter 3:

Rebel Sees the Light

Tyrn was almost completely cured of his injuries of which only his left arm still hurt. Each day he would train from dusk till dawn save to help Lilanel with chores. But he felt that now he had someone to protect even though she was just a friend. So relentlessly he strives to grow stronger so that he could possibly take down those who took away his life, his happiness, and all those he cherished just to leave him for dead.

"Hey Soldier boy would you like to join me on a hike I gotta get some ingredients," Said Lilanel with basket in hand as she waited for him near a the field.

"Sure," he said with a suspicions about her motivations and also knowing that he was honorbound to go as he grabbed his equipment just in case.

So they left towards a small trail leading towards the Solician forest. As they travled deeper into the forest Tyrn could hear the rustling of bushes as if they were being stalked. But they kept walking as he kept a sharp eye out never turning back or giving up. all of a sudden the rustles grew louder as a pack of wolves jumped out and attacked. Tyrn pulled out his gun and got one shot off before a wolf knocked it out of his hand. with his left hand bleeding he used his right hand to grab the sword off his back. He swung once but hit the ground causing sparks o fly and made him realize that he needs to win this fight. So with firm grim on the sword he slashed ad one wolf with a backwards swing causing the ribs of the wolf to crack under the sheer force of the blow. The other wolves had a blood thirsty look in their eyes as the thought their meal was soon to come. tyrn took what little strength was in his left hand and put it towards stabilizing the sword.

"Damn it I cannot lose to these savage beasts" thought Tyrn as he had the boldest look of determination. He then charged towards the pack as they pounced in his direction. He took this opportunity to stab one in the torso and sling it to the side. Unfortunately though he was bitten in the leg by one that had gotten past him. The warm feeling of blood was flowing down his leg but this did not stop him as he managed to kill at least 6 more wolves before they finally scurried off back into the deep woods.

"Tyrn are you all right" said Lilanel running to his side and helped him along the trail until they got to a clearing. As soon as they got their Tyrn succumbed to his injuries and proceeded to pass out. She mended his wounds and awaited for him to wake back up.

"Man, I gotta stop this passing out stuff because I have no clue where I am at" said Tyrn as he awoke to the pain of his still fresh injuries.

"This is a little grotto I discovered that grows the rare Semos' will plant that is really good for medicine dealing, ironically with injuries" said Lilnel as she took some supplies out of the basket. What she took out was some food, a matt, and some Apothecary Supplies. They proceeded to eat lunch while Tyrn was viewing the scenery such as the waterfall, the plant life and they mysterious stone structure.

"What is that" said tyrn asking about the stone structure.

"I'm not quite sure to be honest but legend has it that it is a remnant god left behind," Lilanel said to Tyrn who was looking at the structure. Tyrn looked and the words which were in some unknown ancient dialect as wll as some orb like piece in the center. As he went to take a closer look a blinding light flashed making him sightless for a couple seconds. But after that the words became more legible reading, THE POWER TO CHANGE DESTINY, LIES IN THE ABILITY TO CHANGE YOURSELF. The orb then seemed to beckon him to come closer as it glowed with an intense, pure, blue aura. He reached his left arm out to touch it but when hi did his skin began to burn away from where it touched the stone The skin was then replaced with a snow white metal and and the same blue aura as the orb had.

When it had finally reached his shoulder blade it had stopped with 7 small chain links kinecting it to the rest of his body. These 7 links had the same language as written on the stone almost like seals.

end of chapter 3

what is this new power the stone spoke of?

and for a visual reference of the arm think of neros devil bringer from devil may cry 4