Is it only about yourself?

[Katongo]

Scenario 1

Person 1: Why do you have friends?

Person 2: there are good company, you learn a lot, for fun, great help, give support......

Person 1: (Thinking...) So it's only about you?

Person 2: Um...please explain

Person 1: There are Good company = because you are bored

You learn a lot = So you gain knowledge from them

For Fun = because you are bored

Great Help = are helping you because you ask or need it

Give support = because you need it

And if you where the one giving the support, help, teaching, giving company

You are giving company = because you are bored or taught it would be nice for you to do something

Teaching = you feel better about yourself and taught it would be nice to help so that you feel better about yourself

Helping = because there your friend? Really or it just so the help you in return or so you feel that you did something

I want nothing in return = so you feel better about yourself

The question is Why do you have friend's? Is it only about yourself? Or When is it not only about you?

[J-Lord]

Friends in a way it is supporting your needs....Cure to Boredom.....knowledge...etc. friends give us all these. So are you only looking out for yourself? I guess Yes! and No! Yes you could say you helping your mates in a way helps you, but you can't take friendship if you dont give some back... So I guess it depends on how yoou look at it.

Though that is a question that has really got me thinking, I lean towards the Yes answer.

[lemmingllama]

Yes, friends are for me. But likewise, I am helping to fulfill them. So it is partly for them though I have the friends for me

[† Ferocia Coutura]

I see where your coming from, and I agree. But, I think friendship is also a co-dependence. Yes, you benifit from it, but also, why even get into fights for your friends if you didn't generally care for their well being. When it breaches into that territorry, its starts becoming more about them.

[Trend]

Friends are there to share experiences with you, while best friends are like family and help out when the times are tough.

[lemmingllama]

This thread can be related to anything actually. Just like how if you donate to charity, you do it since it makes you feel good about helping others.

[† Mute point]

With my friends it's always been a mutual thing.

[Dae314]

There are Good company = because you are bored

You learn a lot = So you gain knowledge from them

For Fun = because you are bored

Great Help = are helping you because you ask or need it

Give support = because you need it

And if you where the one giving the support, help, teaching, giving company

You are giving company = because you are bored or taught it would be nice for you to do something

Teaching = you feel better about yourself and taught it would be nice to help so that you feel better about yourself

Helping = because there your friend? Really or it just so the help you in return or so you feel that you did something

I want nothing in return = so you feel better about yourself

I'm going to be completely transparent about these things:

For the 5 where I'm receiving "benefits" if that's what you want to call it, that's pretty much it. I don't see any way that you can some how receive one of those 5 things yet it is not for you. It's not really all about you, that's just how it goes when you're receiving any of those things o.O.

For the 5 where you're giving out those things:

If I decide to hang out with my friends even if I don't necessarily have the time to hang out (I do that sometimes) I'm not sure what I'm aiming for. It's not that I'm bored and I just want to see them to relieve that boredom; I legitimately have some things I need to do or could be doing, however I just don't do those things in order to hang out with my friends. It's not things like homework either, it's things I'd like to do like play BF3 or learn more Python. I choose them over those things (sometimes) because I want to be with them. There is no other reason. Other times I'm just hanging out with them because I'm bored, but what I mentioned above is the usual case.

Teaching my friends is kinda weird. I have a lot of technical and computer knowledge to offer all my friends. I've even written an extensive computer component buyer's guide which I've put up for public view. Why did I write that? Why do I share my knowledge? In all honesty it does feel good to have superior knowledge, but it feels better to share it and watch your friends and other people have those *ah-ha!* moments. I've never really thought of sharing my knowledge as helping me feel better about myself, I just like to breakdown misconceptions. However, on reflection I guess that's what happens when I do it.

Helping my friends the way you described it is the one thing on your list which I can completely and totally disagree with with 100% certainty. I do not help people because I keep tally and expect returns later (ties into your last point). I don't even really consciously help my friends most of the time. If I notice that there's something I can do to aid one of my friends I just do it. If the apartment sink is full of dishes I just do them. I'm 100% sure that there is no thoughts in my mind about what I'm doing, I'm just doing it. It's a bit weird, but that's how I am when I help someone . It's like I take the phrase "think nothing of it" and literally apply it in all that I do when helping people without thinking about it. Hard to explain =/.

Now wanting nothing in return... In relation to the helping topic, I know that I don't do it to feel good about myself because when I help friends I don't get any feeling at all. I just do it it's part of my nature that if I notice a need that I can fill I will fill it. In regard to other things like gift giving... I'm not completely sure. Consciously wanting nothing in return, to me, makes your statement true. On the other hand, unconsciously expecting nothing in return (no thought involved) is not like what you described. I can't say I'm always like the latter case (I am like the former case in some things), but I don't think your blanket statement fits everything.

[Spacecreepkitan]

No, I don't think it's juss for me :/ I call my friends to hang out, not juss because I'm bored but because it's nice to show that you appreciate them, more than that, it's what they deserve. I certainly don't help someone off the ground to feel better about myself ... I do it so that the next guy never has a chance to kick you while your down ... it's never about for me or for them for me (lol) it's about establishing and maintining a connection, yes things travel along a connection but it's not about the recipients, it's about keeping the connection healthy

[rebelkid24]

All relationships require at least two people; they are always give and take. Yes, while you have friends, you benefit from them. However, like many comments above, they also benefit from your company. I would have to say no. Not every good deed is done for self-satisfaction and sometimes, when you ask friends for help, you are doing it to make them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated.