untitled (please read critism adored)

[Shade]

hither as she withers away

inquiries watched and statements made

how she'll never be the same

eyes as blind as spiders

feel the need to crawl all over

tree that thought it loved a leaf

till it fell and color faded

made love to the earth

how could he be so jaded

widows peak where lovers watch

wretched things

when they come home adultered men

let them stay gone

at least they memories you'll always have

memories you wish you never had

brocken hearts on sale at the stand

buy one get on cheat is the san

Edited October 7, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[Koby]

Sorry it took so long for me to reply.

It flows very smoothly. Besides a couple spelling errors, it's really well done.

I didn't really understand the last line though "buy one get on cheat is the san"... ?

[shkmru3]

hmm i liked it very much it made sense

[shkmru3]

very very nice work u got there including the dessent end :3