Obsessive Stress Disorder

[Arian]

I wonder why it is that I can't let an issue go. If something I do is meddled with or if I don't like the way I'm being treated or talked to by someone, it makes me crazy. My head gets strained and I feel a combination of anger and sadness. And many times, it's not justified. It's really a social and general life setback.

 

I'll give you all an example but I'm going to tweak the details because of the sensitivity of the issue, since it also involves this site, and the subject matter is so petty that it's just stupid.

 

But let's just say I had a hobby of making Apple Pies for the Kametsu community, then someone else took my recipe and started making Apple Pies and the interaction between myself and everybody else, as well as my ability to serve a purpose was taken away. So this made me depressed and sad, because it was something I enjoyed doing. Now almost a year after the fact, I see that someone else is putting these same Apple Pies on YouTube. I want to feel happy for this guy doing what he's doing and how the fan community can benefit from it, but immediately I feel anger and jealousy and I have to turn away from it because I see red and my head starts to hurt. This happened to me about 10 minutes before this writing, which inspired this writing.I hate feeling that way, because it makes me feel like and makes me come off like an asshole jerk.

 

Then the other day, there was a pair of headphones lying on the table that one family member is allowed to borrow, but when it's me, the person in question feels the need to tell me they're not mine and take them away. It offends me and makes me feel a rush of stress and anger.

 

Do any of you have experience with this kind of disorder?

Edited July 20, 2015 by Arian

[Natalie]

I'd say the first one is a normal jealous/envious reaction to something. I've had that happen to me relating a lot to things like school projects or people taking what I say and basically rewording it and putting it as their thought. It happens and I think it's an incredibly normal reaction to take.

I feel both of them are completely normal actually.. I'd feel the same way (in fact that's kind of rude). How long do you sulk or feel the burns? How emotionally ruined do you feel when these things happen? What sort of mindset were you in before the events? I don't want to pick you apart Arian, but I'm curious.

While not an actual disorder (do you mean obsessive compulsive?), I know what you mean. It's happened to me too often to count. A lot of medication now takes care of most of it but one thing that persists is when I lose something of my possession. If I lose something, like a game, or all my AA batteries or what have you, I literally freak the fuck out. It's not just "shit where is this thing? So frustrating"; it's cranked to 11 where I get really really fucking angry at myself until I cry and think how awful of a human being I am, and I think about it for days. It's pretty much the world ending.

I used to be really bad with 'failure'. If I do one teeny thing wrong and someone points it out or I happen to find it out on my own. I really beat myself up about it to the point where it spirals out of control to suicidal thoughts and how awful of a human being I am.

Or when all my friends/family or whatever, are doing stuff (work and other junk) and are legitimately unavailable, and I have nothing but myself to keep myself entertained or just left alone. I'd think about how no one likes me anymore, how I have no real friends and how awful of a human being I am (seeing a theme here).

Or I questioned how valuable I am to people close to me, how valuable I am in relation with my environment, how worthy am I to live and continue to exist. As cool as I like to pretend to be and not give a fuck both online and irl, lots of stuff gets to me and that 'don't give a fuck' attitude is a big coping mechanism. Regardless, I obsessed with this thought a lot and it did me no good.

Regardless of my experiences (I had a lot of problems, okay?), if you have thoughts of anger/sadness/nothing and they spiral out of control, I extremely recommend talking to a therapist/psychologist and they can diagnose you and recommend options to take to hopefully rid some of the unneeded stress you cause yourself, be it through more therapy, or prescription medication. After lots of therapy and different meds, we've found one that works for me and it drastically improved my life.

Edited July 23, 2015 by Natalie

[† LimitLess]

Glad to see you back Arian.

 

I've kinda heard about this disorder, its basically OC(I think). I(on certain occassions) felt this way. With the first part, you felt that something that made you special or important was taken away by somebody else. Now you feel angry and frustrated that it has happened. You despise the person even though in your heart you know shouldn't. I myself also feel anxiety and anger when this happens.

 

You referring to it as stupid, but this topic suggests otherwise. You yourself believe the whole situation to be pointless, but yet you still make a topic asking us why is it that you feel this way and whether we may also experience this. Honestly these types of situations can lead to depression or I'm not sure if it has already lead to that.

 

The "don't give a fuck" attitude that Natalie mentioned does not actually help you. The truth is we all have feelings, we can try to hide it in that attitude(much easier on the internet) but you are lying to yourself. If it does bother you, don't pretend that it doesn't. Rather, try to make sense of it, justify the reason for that feeling, and if it doesn't make sense then you have to let yourself realize that this situation was just a senseless and unfortunate circumstance. I can't say for certain though, the "I don't give a fuck" attitude did not work for me unless I actually did not give a fuck about it which is when the "I don't give a fuck" attitude is legit.

 

However, the biggest problem is dwelling on those feelings(he stole my project and now people think it's his own work and not mine) which in turn create new unjustifiable feelings( I don't belong in this world, I'm better of dead, nobody likes me etc.)

 

It's tough to deal with it and could lead to depression which is obviously serious and you need professional help. Try to deal with it while it's in its first stages otherwise you gonna suffer much more. I fortunately did not let my anxiety and anger get the better of me and I will cope with it if that feeling hits me in the future.

 

I think I might have just unintentionally mimicked what Natalie posted above. But this is from my experience in this situation.

 

For example(from my own experience), I use to provide my friends with most of the downloads I would get. It gave me a sense of purpose to be a part of that group, "The bro who gets all the latest stuff for us, he's the best". Now comes a dick head of a friend who finally has more data and internet speed than myself and provides even more downloads for our group of friends. Now I feel like I'm not needed, that my sense of purpose in the group is gone. Nobody asks me for stuff anymore, because dick head is providing them with all they want and they get it a day faster(fucking seriously). I felt anxiety, anger and frustration. I felt worthless, like a fucking piece of trash. I couldn't stand to be with him and the rest of my friends. I dwelled on it over and over and I felt even worse.

 

So I said fuck all and I looked at the bright side. Now they don't have to nag me for their pathetic shit. I can download all the shit I want without worrying about theirs. I felt better within a couple of weeks and now dick head after a year is now the reserved asshole and nobody asks anybody else for downloads, In fact, they(sometimes) ask me for downloads still but not most of the time. They don't ask dick head for downloads anymore. As to why I referred to dick head as dick head well, he kinda put it on himself lol. Happy ending!

 

Although not everything has a postive side to it but it worked for me.

[Afternoon Nap]

It seems to me that you're too obsessed with every little thing; I bet many people are. When I was younger, I might have been like that though not to the extent like yours. But I'm now completely opposite.

I'd rather not waste my brain on the trivial. There are more important things to think about, and things that are more enjoyable and beneficial to do. 

Don't try to justify everything. What justifying means is almost always vacuous anyway. Things happen just because they do like a show on tv. You might as well watch it for fun or turn it off.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Roots of Unity

[Natalie]

The "don't give a fuck" attitude that Natalie mentioned does not actually help you. The truth is we all have feelings, we can try to hide it in that attitude(much easier on the internet) but you are lying to yourself. If it does bother you, don't pretend that it doesn't. Rather, try to make sense of it, justify the reason for that feeling, and if it doesn't make sense then you have to let yourself realize that this situation was just a senseless and unfortunate circumstance. I can't say for certain though, the "I don't give a fuck" attitude did not work for me unless I actually did not give a fuck about it which is when the "I don't give a fuck" attitude is legit.

 

I think I might have just unintentionally mimicked what Natalie posted above. But this is from my experience in this situation.

 

I think a lot of shit bounces off of me because of the attitude, but I think it slowly piles up and starts to drag you down. I kinda like the attitude because it's kinda me, but kinda not, actually me, you know? My gf would be whining about whatever and I'll be like, 'It's not a big deal' cause it's not.. Idk.

Limmi is right though (I guess, by proxy, I am too), it's a problem when you're dwelling on it for an unhealthy amount of time. If you feel that it's severe enough, find a therapist.

 

It seems to me that you're too obsessed with every little thing; I bet many people are. When I was younger, I might have been like that though not to the extent like yours. But I'm now completely opposite.

I'd rather not waste my brain on the trivial. There are more important things to think about, and things that are more enjoyable and beneficial to do. 

Don't try to justify everything. What justifying means is almost always vacuous anyway. Things happen just because they do like a show on tv. You might as well watch it for fun or turn it off.

Easier said than done. Some people get over different things easier than others. Also some people may have actual disorders (like OCD/depression/anxiety) and it's inherently incredibly difficult to get over any obstacle.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Natalie

[Arian]

Well, Natalie, to answer your first question, I just felt very enraged. I'd find myself grumbling or pacing nervously. In my mind I was reflecting on how I didn't fit in to anything since childhood, and for the first time in my life I found something (as trival as it was) that I can engage myself in and engage with others in, all the while having fun doing it, and all of a sudden it's taken away in a huge way, I mean I wasn't even allowed back on this site for a while. And no, I didn't take it out on anyone in my personal life, but I was pissy and I did feel betrayed by everyone.

 

But in general, yes I do pick at myself, I pick on the people who make me upset, etc. And just like you were saying, when I fail at something that's within my abilities, I do feel like a useless human being. I know I'm not Michael Jordan and I won't be a professional athlete, I can deal with that, but when I'm a loser at things that I can do, I get really down on myself.

 

What you were saying about losing stuff is also something I can relate to. If it takes too long for me to find something, it does make me insane as well. I don't flip out, but my mood is ruined.

 

I have never been overtly suicidal, but low quality of life is something I tend to struggle with at times.

 

We're more alike than I thought, Natalie. Thank you for sharing.

 

And hey there, Limitless, great to see you again. But I was not making this topic to cry about that issue in particular, but I simply used it as an example to illustrate how worked up I can get over small things.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Arian

[† LimitLess]

And hey there, Limitless, great to see you again. But I was not making this topic to cry about that issue in particular, but I simply used it as an example to illustrate how worked up I can get over small things.

Likewise

 

Getting worked up about something(small or big) is a part of life. Honestly Arian, the little things are what people get worked up about the most. I find myself getting angry and feeling anxiety over vitually miniscule problems. Sometimes certain people experience it more than others.

 

When you fail at something that you know you're good at, your talent, then feeling like a failure is normal. I feel like shit when I fail at things I am good at(like getting second place at COD when I should be coming first).

 

Oh God don't get me started on trying to find things. When I can't find something I literally punch the wall about 7 times and curse and swear anything you can think of.

 

I know you're not crying about your problem, but merely stating it. Also it helps when you find people out there that you can relate to. It wasn't bothering me as much, but I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one who freaks out when I lose my stuff and I can't find it.

[Afternoon Nap]

Perhaps, this is fitting.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLQs0OrHiPY

Edited July 24, 2015 by Roots of Unity

[Arian]

>http://youtu.be/litXQqXSkO0

Edited July 24, 2015 by Arian