Stupid, Crappy, Crummy Haiku

[AxelVIII]

My first Haiku, thought I'd post it here for the heck of it.

 

 

 

"The hot sun

 

The children cry out

 

Summer days"

 

 

 

Thanks for reading

[Xanders]

Not bad keep practicing your way better than I was, I did once the teacher laughed at it !

I also really admire reading haikus and poems !

Edited March 5, 2013 by Xanders

[Dark_Angel13]

I've already seen this before, glad you put this up man

[AxelVIII]

Thanks guys, makes me like this a little better.

[Dark_Angel13]

Thanks guys, makes me like this a little better.

 

You're welcome man and keep up the good work, we'd love to see more stupid, crappy, crummy haiku's

[† Anras Rune]

3-4-3, not traditional but still good. Haiku are awesome little things to write, but I always feel they are harder to do properly with our barbaric english speak (I jest of course, tis the Japanese that have the savage language, *twiddles moustache*). 

 

I noticed, should there be a cut at the end of "the children cry out"?

Edited March 5, 2013 by Anras Rune

[† Emotional Outlet]

Although it's since passed, if you're looking into writing more haikus, there is a National Haiku Writing Month. They also have some interesting essays about haikus in English as compared to Japanese.

 

Haikus are fun, definitely forces you to really compress your thought, to make each word count.

[Xanders]

Without our barbaric english there won't be any Stupid, Crappy, Crummy Haikus

[lemmingllama]

Aren't haiku normally 5-7-5? Something like

 

Haikus are fun

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator

 

Still, your haiku gives a good mental image. Keep it up!

[† Emotional Outlet]

Depends who you ask, haha. If you want to be strict about it, Japanese haiku aren't 5-7-5. 3-5-3 is a better translation, though classical haiku are typically two lines of varying length. There's a wee essay on it here.

 

I haven't taken or thought about poetry since high school, but I'm pretty sure we were also taught 5-7-5, with no mention of the culture it originally came from and how they typically format it. Then again, I did write a poem about a lemon, so I don't know what was going on in that class.

[AxelVIII]

Thanks for the feedback everyone

 

Btw, when I was in school, I was taught both 3-5-3, and 5-7-5 types of Haiku. Never heard of 3-4-3.

[Xanders]

I always knew haikus were 5 7 5 but i was taught 3 5 3 instead in school

[† Emotional Outlet]

Translations between languages are pretty cool. Like they mention in those haiku essays above about how the way the Japanese count sounds in their words is a little different than how we would do it (we would count "Tokyo" as two syllables--they would count it as four sounds). So the amount of information that could be conveyed in a Japanese 5-7-5 is far less than could be conveyed in an English 5-7-5--hence the preference for the 3-5-3 form when writing in English.