The Pants in the relationship?

[seirachan]

Ever since I was 4 my mother has been telling me to marry someone with a lot of money. It's insulting really. Never once in my life have I ever gave a shit about money. I may be sad when I'm low on it but I NEVER ever think of someone Else's money as my own. I don't expect someone to buy me things even when I give them something I don't expect things in return. In every relationship I've been in, I was the one with the money. Sure the relationships were bad but it had nothing to do with the money. They were just jerks.

I feel mad at my mother all the time for these comments. Just the other day I said my brother might try to hook me up with one of his friends at KFC. So my mother immediately said if he works at KFC I don't think hes worth it. What does that got to do with anything? Id rather a guy be broke and nice then rich and an ass. I don't plan on living with anyone I'm gonna date anytime soon. If I ask to go out to eat. I'm gonna pay. I refuse to go out to anything if I don't have enough money to pay for it.

Discuss I guess lol.

Edit: lol I drew a picture on the topic title

[CaNzCo]

Money is certainly not the only thing a person should look for in a significant other. I am a poor college student, so if everyone went by your mothers rule I would be out of luck for the next four years. That being said, if the person has no money, you can probably assume he doesn't have a job, and people usually don't have jobs for a reason. Money can also be a sign that the significant other has a few traits, and you may want these. I assume most people want stability, someone who could take care of them if necessary, and someone that they won't need to take care of themselves. If those factors are more important to you than other major factors like personality, attractiveness, and similar interests than buy all means try to to find a sugar daddy/mommy.

People are allowed to be with whoever they want, and I think some girls just wont be happy unless they have material things. Those women can either get them through hard work, or attain them through people who are willing to give anything for a girl. Honestly this seems like a fair trade to me, since both parties get exactly what they want.

[ZeroPenguins]

I know what you mean, my parents don't force me into hooking up with someone with money. But I believe as long as you're happy than everything doesn't really matter, although I would probably hook up with someone with some brains.

[seirachan]

Money is certainly not the only thing a person should look for in a significant other. I am a poor college student, so if everyone went by your mothers rule I would be out of luck for the next four years. That being said, if the person has no money, you can probably assume he doesn't have a job, and people usually don't have jobs for a reason. Money can also be a sign that the significant other has a few traits, and you may want these. I assume most people want stability, someone who could take care of them if necessary, and someone that they won't need to take care of themselves. If those factors are more important to you than other major factors like personality, attractiveness, and similar interests than buy all means try to to find a sugar daddy/mommy.

People are allowed to be with whoever they want, and I think some girls just wont be happy unless they have material things. Those women can either get them through hard work, or attain them through people who are willing to give anything for a girl. Honestly this seems like a fair trade to me, since both parties get exactly what they want.

Some people do it but I really don't care for it and my mother just keeps pushing it on me. But it's probably bad when a girl just dates a guy for his money then leaves him. I've seen it happen a few times. It normally happens to not so great looking guys I've seen. Not always of course a girl like that is just looking at the wallet, not the face. It ruins a lot of guys views on women.

[† Mute point]

Pants have no place in a relationship. They just get in the way... Stupid pants.

Honestly though, if all you care about is money, you're going to be a very lonely person no matter how hot you are. Yea, you might find temporary happiness along the way, but it will be fleeting, just like whatever money your current fling has.

Can money be a factor in deciding who to be with? Absolutely. If you like two guys (or girls) exactly the same, and one has more money, logically, he (or she) would be the better choice for stability in the future.

Should it be the most important deciding factor? Hell no. Find someone you like first, then worry about if you make more money than them or not if it matters to you.

[BlackDahlia]

Some people do it but I really don't care for it and my mother just keeps pushing it on me. But it's probably bad when a girl just dates a guy for his money then leaves him. I've seen it happen a few times. It normally happens to not so great looking guys I've seen. Not always of course a girl like that is just looking at the wallet, not the face. It ruins a lot of guys views on women.

Not only not so great looking guys, but also desperate guys and nice guys. Happened to me a few times while in high school because I was a bit desperate and a nice guy lol I don't consider myself to be a very good looking guy and because of my past experiences I think I've become a bit cheap xD When I'm just getting to know a girl or starting to date a girl, I don't spend much money on them. It's kind of a rule I made for myself because normally, my nice guy side would pay for everything without hesitation. A girl who is truly interested in me or getting to know me shouldn't be bothered if I don't want to spend a lot of money on them. If she wants to go on another date, she's paying lol Quite frankly, if a girl is bothered by the thought of having to spend a few bucks on a date, then she's most likely not someone I want to dedicate my time to.

At the very least, I can say that my girlfriend is definitely not with me because of my money because I am broke and we end up having to split the cost most of the time lol

Though, I would say when it comes to marriage specifically, I would definitely like to be the one with the pants. As in, be the main provider. Not necessarily the only provider, but the main one. It's kind of an ego thing.

[The Welsh Paddy]

Hah, god help me if money was that important in a relationship. xD I barely get by as it is, especially since having a little one now. When it comes to treating each other, it's always on the rare and unexpected occasions. And when it comes to going out for a meal or whatever, we either just pay for our own stuff, or take it in turns paying. Right now it's pretty much equal, with the only one being spoilt is our little man haha.

As for who has the "pants" in the relationship, I'd like to think that would always be me, being all manly and all. And again, I don't really think money has anything to do with that either. I'd be perfectly happy if we're both earning roughly the same amount.

[Bluenoser]

My health collapsed on me in my early 20s, before I had any real chance to build up any savings or pension funds. I live on government stipend for medical disability, which is a very minimal income range indeed. My wife, when she first met me, was the one that pursued the idea of marriage, not me, and my reluctance in no small part was because I knew from first hand living how limiting this level of poverty truly is to live with long term. Despite that she continued, and eventually we ended up married. What took me so long to understand and believe in my heart was that for her the emotional and physical security I offered far outweighed anything financial security ever could (she came from a very abusive background, and for her the most important quality was someone she could trust to care for her and have her back when she needed it, something I most certainly do as her uncle found out after we had been together for a couple of years when he decided to sexually assault her and ended up in front of a court because of it because I supported her in doing so and helped her get through the needed hoops to do so in our system, indeed it was that incident and the way her family responded to it that started to enable my understanding of what she meant and that she truly knew what she was choosing as I kept saying I thought she could do better than me and she kept telling em I was far better than she ever thought she could reach, a point of disagreement in our early days) and from that we ended up where we are today, a happily married couple for over 8 years now. I never expected to have such joy in my life as she brought to it, and from all indications she still feels the same way herself about me even to this day, and for both of us that is what is really what counts for a marriage to be meaningful, not the amount of money either party brings to the table.

Now, do I think money as a factor should be ignored? Of course not, look at how resistant I was to the idea myself initially because of my own long term poverty and wanting to make sure she understood what that would mean and be fully informed on that point, indeed that I initially thought it was such a significant issue as to make me ineligible for consideration as a marriage choice for her. To pretend that money does not play a role in how a long term relationship works is to be disconnected from reality IMHO, but conversely to pretend that it should be the dominant/overwhelming factor is equally delusional to me as well. It is a significant factor, and must be considered by all when they make such choices, but each must also decide to what extent it matters weighed off against other factors such as compatibility, emotional connection, and other such intangibles which are also equally important for such a decision. Ultimately the balancing point will be different for each person, there can be not simple set standard for this, not if you want a marriage that is really a true partnership with happiness and love long term, and not simply a contract relationship devoid of such but perhaps availing of creature comforts in place of the emotional ones, but that is no true marriage in my books.

Well, that's my two cents on this one based on my experiences, take it for what you will...

[Malyssa Rahl]

I am going to have to agree with my girl. Pants don't belong in any relationship

If we're talking metaphorical pants though, and meaning primary money maker.. For our relationship, that would be Mute, no question. She makes, on average, twice as much as me per 2 weeks. Has that ever been a problem? Only when she wouldn't let me help pay for things.... Like dates I asked her out on >.< But we worked through it. Now we have it set up so that, my money goes for all the extra things we want but don't really need.