Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Ok first off i wasn't sure wether to put this in the Balamb Cafe or Mako Reactor so, sorry if this is the wrong thread. And also i asked this question in the Chatter Box thing and for those of you who helped me there thank you for the help, and if you have any other help it would be greatly appreciated. Other than that below this last sentance i shall put my quandry, as always this isnt just for me but also for those of you who would like to further discuss this.Ok so i have this ex we didnt really act like BF and GF when we were together so we/i decided to call it off. But over the few months weve been apart ive began to really miss her and so i asked her out again she said to ask later.My questions are what does this mean? She said she is enjoying her freedom now.Also what is a good amount of time to wait?Oh and essentialy i asked if she wanted to see a movie with me and she said she did so im confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuLake Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I'm not the authority on things like this, but it sounds like she could just want to be friends for the time being. I'd recommend just hanging out and being friends and see where it goes. From the sounds of things you may just be better friends than partners, but, either way, going slow is a good start to any relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
† ballard Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 It could possibly be her way of letting you down nicely, or she could be interested in someone else. She might also simply want some time to think about getting back with you. Being friends with many girls over the years I've learned that it's usually one of those 3 things. I have no idea how the female mind works though so I could be wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 But you see this is how it was the first time we went out i asked her out she said not at the moment then i asked her out a week later and she said yes. Plus we have alot of long conversations as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuLake Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 She may just be cautious then. Still, I don't think you've got a lot of options. I think taking it easy and getting a feel for the situation is best, but you can always just ask her out again after she's had time to think like before. I'm assuming you've told her how you feel and asked about her feelings as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 To be honest no i just simply asked her out i was cautious to get to into it, think i should have a serious conversation with her then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
† ballard Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 You should ask her how she feels about getting back together with you. If she needs time to think about it then you should give her the time she needs and just be friends for awhile. Do fun stuff with her in the mean time. Go to the movies and do whatever else she may like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STR1K3 Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 When i read you OP, at first im initial though: yes = yes, No = no, and maybe(ah yes the dreaded and completely incoherent maybe)= a kind no But after reading the rest of your posts i lean towards either wait it out and take is slow (although in my experience this can lead to them trying to make you their not-gay-gay-friend, not a good spot if your looking for a relationship) or the serious talk (as suggested right above). I also just that in the mean time spend time with her and hang out waiting for the "opportune moment". I'd wait a bit before you ask her out again. I say, that us posters are a a significant disadvantage in suggesting anything other than a general "plan". If we were a map, we just be a large arrow point north. You'll have to figure our everything else. Generally middle school-early high school stuff can be pretty delicate and i would offer different advice if you whether you were in College or high school. Also we don't know a ton about your personality or (perhaps more importantly) hers. I would highly suggest you talk to a trustworthy friend (preferably in a relationship) who knows you both. Also id like to see a girl comment on this and see her POV. If i've learned just one thing about girls, they are unpredictable and predictable thus making them a paradox of sorts, also guys tend to think linearly, girls do a sort of improbability drive thing. (cookies to those who get my hitchhiker's references) keep in mind, my only credentials are watching pretty much every episode of How i met your mother and a bit of real life, so yeah.....Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seirachan Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I think shes going over her feelings, that's why she says ask me later cause she needs time to think. Just wait a bit and try again then if not get into a serious conversation with her asking her why not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasoivc Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 You should ask her how she feels about getting back together with you. If she needs time to think about it then you should give her the time she needs and just be friends for awhile. Do fun stuff with her in the mean time. Go to the movies and do whatever else she may like.I'm gonna go with ballard on this one. You've already voiced your opinion that you'd like to get back together with her. There's really nothing else you can do, persisting will only irritate her and drive her away (well, that's how it works with most girls in my opinion at least).In theory, this is like fishing. You just cast your line, now it's up to her as to whether or not to take the bait. You can't force her to take the bait; in a nutshell - don't get yourself too worked up about it if it falls through instead, lest you want to be crying over some spilled milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrumRoll Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 the ball's in her court. You've just got to wait and see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinkie Pie Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Honestly, I don't think she's interested in you anymore. I've been in her shoes before- a not-friend-friend is interested but there are other things going on so you say "Oh not right now" and then after spending a while being confused about the relationship you have with the not-friend-friend, you attempt to shake them off a little. Personally, when it comes to that stage, I begin to cut them out of my life, but she hasn't gone this route.And having "a lot of long conversations" with someone doesn't really mean too much. I have long conversations with plenty of my friends and they remain that. Friends. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think she's very interested in being in another relationship with you. From what I can tell, and from what I've experienced myself, she's interested in being friends. If you really cared about her and wanted to continue being there for her, being friends would be more than enough for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 But you see Jenova id be more then willing to be her friend if this situation wasn't familliar as i said above this is the same thing that happened when we started dating she said not right now at first then i asked later and she said yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasoivc Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 But you see Jenova id be more then willing to be her friend if this situation wasn't familliar as i said above this is the same thing that happened when we started dating she said not right now at first then i asked later and she said yes.I don't really want to agree with Jenova - that you're beating a dead horse, but you can't do what you did the first time'round. You just can't go up to her a week later and ask her out again. It doesn't work like that. People change over time. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Same concept applies per say.She may not be interested in "you" at this moment. If you two weren't really "dating" the first time around, how does it make it different the second time around. I'm not trying to be a downer but you need to keep your emotions in check by being aloof, she'll come to you if she wants it to happen. Like I said, you've already expressed your opinion, now you just wait for hers; either way you're going to have to take it at face value. There's no "Yes or Maybe" in a "No I don't want to be in a relationship" and "Yes" doesn't mean you go out and throw a party about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinkie Pie Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 She may not be interested in "you" at this moment. If you two weren't really "dating" the first time around, how does it make it different the second time around. I'm not trying to be a downer but you need to keep your emotions in check by being aloof, she'll come to you if she wants it to happen. Like I said, you've already expressed your opinion, now you just wait for hers; either way you're going to have to take it at face value. There's no "Yes or Maybe" in a "No I don't want to be in a relationship" and "Yes" doesn't mean you go out and throw a party about it.I have to agree with a lot of this. And I'm just saying that I feel from a girl's perspective, btw. If you were doing the same to me, it would feel a little too strong, but every girl is different.This isn't the same girl that you posted threads about earlier this year, is it? The 16 year old? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 No this isnt Jenova, that relationship went nowhere. I decided to break it off cause we were in two different stages of our lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilDoomBunny Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 I agree with Jenova, and to address what you said about that is how your relationship started the first time around. You have to consider it started the same way and ended up being nothing but friends saying they were bf/gf but didn't treat each other as such. I know if I were interested in a guy and he asked me out I would be giddy, of course I would be cautious but I definitely would be giddy and not say "i enjoy my freedom". If I was being cautious I would say something along the lines of " I really want to be with you but I am a bit afraid of where this is going to go considering how it went the first time with us" . I think she is just either A) letting you down easily keep you as backup cause you are a safe bet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinkie Pie Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 keep you as backup cause you are a safe bet.And honestly, it's not worth it to be with a girl that keeps backups anyway imo. Why does anyone need a backup friendship that they can turn into a relationship on a dime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Well you also have to realize in her defense she is a very shy/antisocial person. She lives on the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasoivc Posted August 4, 2011 Report Share Posted August 4, 2011 Well you also have to realize in her defense she is a very shy/antisocial person. She lives on the internet.That doesn't really mean much. She can still say no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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