Flirting

[Riku-kun]

I don't think this is a very serious subject, so I'll just post it here instead of the serious subject place.

Portuguese women, at least most, treat flirting as a threat unless they know the person for some years or if the person in question is sexually attractive. Around the place where I live, if you flirt wit a girl, it's most likely you'll be attacked. And then attacked later by some more people related to the girl.

I tried asking someone about it but got no response, so instead of just asking person by person, I'll just ask generally.

I ask this because I'm just not used to it and it bothers me how some people don't do a thing about it, so either they don't wanna reject the person, or like it. Or I may be wrong, so I ask:

Do you girls enjoy being flirted with, constantly? I don't mean a little joking around now and then, I mean constantly being flirted with.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Hehe, serious subject place.

I'd rather people not interact with me at all. =P

In real life and on the Internet, no, I don't like being flirted at constantly, much less when I'm unavailable. It feels weird.

I don't like strangers flirting at me. When on the Internet, it feels like they're talking to me just because I've identified myself as a female--they know nothing about me other than my biological sex. When in real life, it feels like they're only doing it because they think I'm attractive.

I dislike rejecting people, so I hope that ignoring them will eventually result in them getting bored and going away to flirt at/with someone more responsive.

If they're just doing it to be friendly, then I can only hope that they'll catch on and stop hitting on me. =P I'm not on the Internet to meet a mate, nor do I leave the house in the hopes of being swept off my feet, nor do I go to school to get somebody.

[Anooxy]

Hah. Flirting is for boys or girls who are not good enough to get others (I mean of the opposite sex) attention by just being friendly to them. I never flirt.

And flirt is boring rather then getting attention.

[tiddybear]

Eh, it depends on how open they are about it. Sometimes just talking to someone in a certain way without actually saying anything you would associate with flirting can be called flirting - talking about what a person is passionate about and agreeing with them and such to get their attention is flirting in a way. I don't really like the obvious kind, and by that I mean the compliments and the hints and all that. It really bothers me actually, because that doesn't show me you actually know anything about me except that I am female.

[Ray Ray]

I actually look at it as, do you refer to it as flirting or not?

I dunno, I can't really tell the difference between being flirting and being very friendly. I speak to boys and girls pretty much the same way, and I'm pretty much open about anything, so, I dunno.

I don't think calling someone "hot or cute" or whatever is considered flirting? Some people do, I don't, you're just bluntly telling them what you think.

So yeah, I dunno haha.

[Riku-kun]

And flirt is boring rather then getting attention.

Yeah dude. Pretty much.

It really bothers me actually, because that doesn't show me you actually know anything about me except that I am female.

Yeah, exacly why I find flirting with girls you don't know completely useless. Other than that I don't quite understand. (reason for why I'm gathering opinions :/)

[Kyo]

anyone who says they dont flirt is a liar. EVERYONE flirts. whether it be quite simple or outrageous everyone still does. People flirt on a mental level, they do it unintentionally, its human nature. even something silly like a girl flicking her hair when talking to a guy she finds attractive is a flirt. its subconscious of course, its not like the girl says "wow hes hot, i better flick my hair!". Point is everyone does it, just some differently and more outrageously than others. cheesy chat up lines are a bad way to go but flirting is part of playing the mating game, from a biological sense its part of the human mating rituals.

If I find a girl attractive I can be flirty. yes so far all i know is she is an attractive female. but it has to start somewhere! if people didn't react on people's appearances then nobody would talk to anyone. Personally im quite cautious with my flirting usually. I dont flirt to a point where i'm not being myself. for example with compliments I don't lie, i look for a girls best feature and compliment them on it, im being honest so whats the problem?

Now granted people who flirt to get a girl in the sack are scum. but flirting is the body and minds natural way of saying "hi im attracted to you". It is that simple. the real difference is HOW you flirt and the intentions of your flirt. I flirt, i flirt very badly too when im drunk, but I do not go looking to get that girl in the sack, i'm just trying to come across as friendly as possible with good intentions, not sure nor particularly bothered if said girl would become friend, foe or lover. its not the point in the end.

anyway thats my two cents XD

[Anooxy]

Wrong, Kyo. What you said above is not Flirt. Flirt is something you do INTENTIONALLY and there is only ONE TYPE of flirt.

You can't say things unintentionally, my friend! Flirt is when you talk to someone to get attention.

[Riku-kun]

Wrong, Kyo. What you said above is not Flirt. Flirt is something you do INTENTIONALLY and there is only ONE TYPE of flirt.

You can't say things unintentionally, my friend! Flirt is when you talk to someone to get attention.

Agreed.

The so called Unintentional side of flirting, that you mentioned, have other names. When you say you Unintentionally flirt in your mind, well no. You don't flirt, you fantasize. Therefor, when you say we all flirt, you're not right, in my point of view. If yo speak of the very nature of then saying a girl is hot is flirting? No, it's a subconscious way to proove manhood towards the rest of the group, seen as if you see a hot woman pass by you don't say: "Wow, she's hot!"

You might think 'bout it, but that's fantasizing, not flirting.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Well, you can say things unintentionally--not thinking before speaking and whatnot.

There are usually other things to talk about with a female aside from her looks--looks generally get you there, but I'd rather people not dwell on how I look and instead talk about other things. Like I haven't heard comments about my eyes a billion and three times. Almost anyone can look attractive. With plastic surgery, make-up, and whatnot, it won't be hard to "fix" anyone--just would be a mite expensive. Like Ron White says, "You can't fix stupid."

[Anooxy]

Almost anyone can look attractive. With plastic surgery, make-up, and whatnot, it won't be hard to "fix" anyone--just would be a mite expensive.

*Quoted part of the post because EO hates if I quote the entire post*

People who don't have the money cannot look attractive.

[Kyo]

Wrong, Kyo. What you said above is not Flirt. Flirt is something you do INTENTIONALLY and there is only ONE TYPE of flirt.

You can't say things unintentionally, my friend! Flirt is when you talk to someone to get attention.

look dude don't talk to me like that. if you paid attention you'd get my drift.

First of all if you want a definition of flirting it is and i quote "To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures". I didn't see the word intentional in there did you?

now pay attention this time. My reference was to unintentional flirting. IT DOES HAPPEN. in fact body language is a very big part of flirting. for example touching is a big part of flirting. like when someone gives you a little push or a nudge when flirting. its not intentional its subconscious. little things like hair flicking and the batting of the eyes are all subconscious flirting. google subconscious flirting and start learning a thing or two. and i hate to sound like a patronising ass but your 15, what the hell do you know about flirting? i didnt know jack, my 15 year old brother knows jack about flirting, hell i still havent figured out flirting yet.

but it has been proven that there is such a thing is body language and acting subconsciously. and it does happen when flirting. yes there are intentional flirts, i dont dispute that. and i do stand by my decision, everyone flirts, even a little, its only natural.

now moving on to emotional outlet....

ok you are right there are other things to talk about, but not instantly. people judge on appearance, I do and so do you. i know you do because deep down everyone does. that is the society we have been brought up in. first impressions count and people judge on appearances.

however this isnt neccesarily a bad thing.

to compliment a girl on how she looks can be the easiest way to A) break the ice and compliment someone you hardly know as of yet.

the point in flirting with someone isnt always to get them in the sack, sometimes its to get to know those things. its not even just flirting, thats just getting to know someone in general.

for example miss EO i don't know what the hell you look like or where your from or even your name. but you do seem very opinianated and i respect and admire that.

see? i took the little information i knew and said something nice about you in the hope to get to know you better. in the real world what is the first thing you notice about someone> the first piece of knowledge you have of their entire being? you guessed it, their appearance. i mean honestly you'd be more than a tad freaked out if i went up to you and said.

"hi i'm martin and i find you attractive by appearance but i would like to get to know the real you in case you are not what i first anticipated so tell me every little thing about you. i dont want to appear like a stranger so i'll tell you that im 18 i live with my parents and im a cancer. i work in a supermarket and enjoy listening to various styles of music"

that would freak me out. you know what wouldn't freak me out is.

"excuse me but i really love your hair" (i get that alot)

i know fine well that this is ammo to initiate conversation, and she knows i know this. but it works and i do talk to them.

anyway rant over.

[Anooxy]

I won't bother to read all that so I'm out of this.

[Kyo]

did I just Debate PWN SasukeX? O.o

[Anooxy]

Not really. I'm just leaving this because I'm not a debating guy. And you look terrible when you post so much.

Don't think you'll ever win on a "not-lazy" me though.

[Kyo]

i know this is off topic but i really want to rp battle you so i hope you rp good sasuke-kun

[-PHXN- New001]

First of all if you want a definition of flirting it is and i quote "To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures". I didn't see the word intentional in there did you?

Your source please. You need to add some sort of credibility to that statement. Cause according to urbandictionary.com* flirting is: "You dinking around with the opposite sex. complements and shit"

and i hate to sound like a patronising ass but your 15, what the hell do you know about flirting? i didnt know jack, my 15 year old brother knows jack about flirting, hell i still havent figured out flirting yet.

*patronizing (spelt correctly)

Firstly, are you implying you flirt with your brother? ... kidding.

And you cannot compare flirting. You are absolutely incorrect with that statement. You simply cannot compare flirting.

There is no "better" at flirting. One may be more pleasurable to the person being flirted with, but that does not make it at all "better".

Prime example:

** My way of flirting is beating someone with a whip. The person I am flirting with does not enjoy it. Does that mean I'm a bad flirter? NO!!!

And heres why:

Somewhere there is someone who wants to be beaten by a whip. If I was to do so, they would find it "better" than other forms of flirting.

anyone who says they dont flirt is a liar. EVERYONE flirts.

Veryyyyy bad thing to say. Last time I mentioned liar, EO throughly proved me wrong. Be careful the words you throw around, they could unintentionally hurt someone.

And here's why that statement isn't true.

Babies don't flirt.

Or further more to say: If a child was born into a coma... was in a coma for X amount of years... woke up, and the first thing they ever said "I have never flirted with anyone" (and they could know how to speak, it is proven that you can absorb knowledge why in a coma), it would be a true statement.

people judge on appearance, I do and so do you. i know you do because deep down everyone does. that is the society we have been brought up in. first impressions count and people judge on appearances.

Blind people do not judge on appearance.

Though given in general people may judge on first appearances,

you cannot say everyone does. Words like "everyone", "everything", "whole", they only get shutdown.

to compliment a girl on how she looks can be the easiest way to A) break the ice and compliment someone you hardly know as of yet.

It is also a good way to get slapped. Though I have no been, I would not encourage you to go out and critique a woman's physique by a first impression.

see? i took the little information i knew and said something nice about you in the hope to get to know you better.

But you were not flirting. Thats the point. You made a statement to get to know someone, not to flirt with them.

Granted you could do both at the same time, but you were not in this circumstance.

"hi i'm martin and i find you attractive by appearance but i would like to get to know the real you in case you are not what i first anticipated so tell me every little thing about you. i dont want to appear like a stranger so i'll tell you that im 18 i live with my parents and im a cancer. i work in a supermarket and enjoy listening to various styles of music"

that would freak me out.

I would assume that would freak you out, seeing how you'd be talking to yourself. Well I suppose it might not be you, it could just be very similar. Either way, your getting hit-on by the same sex (which is fine if your oriented that way) so that could freak you out.

And you look terrible when you post so much.

The size of the post does not assess the quality of it.

*I am in no way saying thats a credible source.

**This is not my way of flirting, dont worry.

[Kyo]

ok dude you are extremely petty. end of.

TECHNICALLY you're right babies do not flirt but you and everyone else know what i meant. I assumed i was talking to people who aren't completely anal. and btw babies will eventually grow up and flirt.

also the source was dictionary.com

and due patronising can be spelt with an S. kinda like Colour and color are both correct spellings or disc and disk.

my point was not comparing flirting as such. my point was that 15 years old (at least where i come from) is that age where you're not quite a little kid and not quite an adult either. (and im in no way saying that im particularly adult here)

15 year olds that i know (including myself at that age) dont have a scoobie how to talk to girls (once again not saying im entirely read up on girls). but then again maybe im not giving that age enough credit, im probably thinking more along the lines of 13/14 so my bad.

my point is that whole reply was very petty. i may have went about some aspects in the wrong way but i think my overall point was that you all seem to look at flirting as someone trying to get in another persons pants. flirting can be perfectly innocent. I don't go looking for sex with girls i've never met before, but i still flirt.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Heh, have to watch out for the "tl;dr" people. =P

People who don't have the money cannot look attractive.

I have little to no cash of my own and some people don't think I look like I crawled out of a sewer. Besides, one man's trash is another's gold. =P

I don't think anyone ever said they never flirted, but I'm mostly skimming the thread.

A fifteen-year-old could have an opinion on flirting. That's, um, freshman/sophomore year, isn't it? Maybe eighth grade too. Thirteen doesn't seem too young, but unless they've been at it since they were ten, yeah, they are neophytes. Though young teens/pre-teens may not be experts on it and they may not be the best people to get advice from, I think they're starting to get an idea of it, of what makes them feel all giggly and what makes them want to smash the other person's face in. I don't think they could be discounted so readily.

first impressions count and people judge on appearances.

I make crappy first impressions and I never denied that people did that. (Well, I guess it would be weird if blind people walked around groping people's faces. =P)

"looks generally get you there,"

That is, they catch your eye or whatever.

"but I'd rather people not dwell on how I look and instead talk about other things"

That is, say what you want about how I look, but find something else to talk about as soon as possible. It can't be that difficult to find other things to talk about. The place you're at could probably give you five or six different topics to open with, or to follow up your comment on how they look. I just don't want to sit there listening to someone prattle on about how I look, nor do I want to feel obligated to say things about how they look.

That's just me, though. I know people who would love it if someone sat there and talked about how fabulous they looked, who savour every single compliment they get no matter how often they've heard it, and I know some people like to give out compliments like they were to rot if they didn't use them right away.

"hi i'm martin and i find you attractive by appearance but i would like to get to know the real you in case you are not what i first anticipated so tell me every little thing about you. i dont want to appear like a stranger so i'll tell you that im 18 i live with my parents and im a cancer. i work in a supermarket and enjoy listening to various styles of music"

It'd be different at least. The only thing that would bother me is the fact that it's almost a monologue. Maybe cut it down to:

"hi i'm martin. i work in a supermarket and enjoy listening to various styles of music"

=P

It's not very interesting when the first thing people have to say to me is about how I look--"gee, your hair is so long," "oh, you have a cute smile," "nice ass". Great, I heard it a lot, thanks. Anything else?

I'd definitely rather that, if people want to approach me, they do give me a starting point like "I listen to various types of music", as out of the blue as it may be, instead of "wow, I really like your rack". I'm not saying it's bad, that I'll take a chair and break it over their head for coming up to me with a comment on my looks--it's just not going to get me to talk that much.

(Although anything like "nice rack" and comments more explicit might make me think them some horny pervert unless I've known them for a while, and even then...)

[Kyo]

well "nice rack" isnt quite what i meant.

i'm talking about say for example:

Guy: hey uh thats a really interesting hair style

girl: you think? *looks at the multicoloured liberty spiked mohawk she has*

thats just an example though. but you are right though i didnt say appearance was the only ammo. in fact a common convo starter for smokers is "got a light?"

thing is i cant speak for every man but when i compliment someones appearance im being honest and sincere. i tell people they have lovely eyes when they do have lovely eyes. would you prefer they insulted you?

"hey there babycakes, thats a pretty fucked up set of teeth you got there"