Cyber Bullying

[DeathTheKid]

So I have a paper that's due on the 13th on the causes and effects of cyber bullying. More on the effects though. 

 

I would like if anyone could give me their input on the situation as it will help me with my paper.

 

We're required to have an outline so I'll show what that looks like later. Since it's in my car and I'm to lazy to get it right now. 

 

So the question at hand is "What can be done to prevent cyber bullying from happening?"

 

 

 

Thanks to anyone for their input on the matter.

[Dark_Angel13]

Well first up is the simple restriction of allowing your child to use such things as facebook, twitter etc etc so basically abstinence towards social networking sites like the ones I mentioned. I've done cyber bullying stuff before but for some reason most of it I've forgotten but I think the above is a good point, if I remember anytihng I'll let you know

[Dark-hunter]

first off im pretty harsh on this  >>

ppl are weak   

and u will never get rid of it or even prevent it     not fully

 

since u asked though what can help i might as well asnwer

limit your kids actions   if your  a teenager then stop going to certain places  block   a specific person   if things persist then go to your parents  or even go to some one    eventually u will find some one to help u .     i mean  that's really the only thing u can do   to prevent it  in any way   aside from not getting online

[† Emotional Outlet]

I'm no fan of victim blaming, so claiming that people are just weak and should suck it up isn't going to solve the problem. And to say that if we can't be perfect, we might as well not even be good is defeatist at best.

 

What can be done is teach people not be abusive in the first place, because it's not just a matter of "oh, they called me names". It's been taken to the point where people are outright stalked online, people are sent threatening and harassing messages, and so on. It shouldn't be the victim's responsibility to hermetically seal themselves from any potential abuse.

 

Teach people to respect each other and their differences, to avoid hopping on the abuse bandwagon. Create an environment that's safe and respectful where people can come forth and report these actions instead of telling them to "suck it up" or "ignore them". Actually take action against abusers and not just excuse them with a slap on the wrist.

 

It's not just children and teenagers who are victims of cyberbullying. Nor is it just children and teenagers who are perpetrators of cyberbullying. Adults of all ages hop right in and attack people regardless of age, whether it's another adult or a child or teenager.

 

Painting it like it's an issue adults don't deal with marginalises the experiences of those who have been bullied and harassed online. What then? Tell them to just suck it up, you're a grown-ass adult? What about the perpetrators? No one's going to tell them, "Suck it up, you're a grown-ass adult and you shouldn't be acting like this"? If some workplaces can manage a zero-tolerance policy for harassment, why can't websites do the same?

[Dark-hunter]

yeah that works   well  lets stop ppl from committing crimes   >>  that will never be         sure ppl can try to be good  even a majority but u will always have good and bad ppl       ppl need to learn that 

there is always an out   u always have a choice  just because ppl don't want to make that choice doesn't mean its not there

 

and don't put words in my mouth    i didn't even say ppl should suck it up     all i fucking said was that ppl are weak    but hey go ahead and assume   that's what i said  

Edited March 5, 2013 by Dark-hunter

[Zanco]

It's cause is relief. Some person, some where thinks or actually has a shitty life and take it out on the easiest most satisfying prey; I.E. People on the internet.

Then those people take what's happening to heart and often times leads them to self harm, mental malfunctions, and suicide. A good movie to watch would be Cyber Bully and @Suicide Room, they'll paint a perfect picture for you.

Edited March 5, 2013 by Zanco

[Breathless]

I don't think you can prevent cyber bullying completely, nor any other form of bullying. Humans can be jerks, sometimes I wish people were really cute dogs and cats. I love really cute dogs and cats!

That being said, educating children people about it is really important. More so then how to avoid it, and limiting their access, they need to know what to do when it hits them. Tell someone, talk about it, report it. How to avoid cyber bullying comes second. As for the other half of it, stopping Cyber Bullies or at least a portion of them, I think a lot of it is how you're raised. If you're not raised to respect people, when you're on the internet you won't respect anyone. When the world grows up with manners maybe it'll come to a close. :|

[† Emotional Outlet]

and don't put words in my mouth    i didn't even say ppl should suck it up     all i fucking said was that ppl are weak    but hey go ahead and assume   that's what i said  

 

I apologise then. It happens that "suck it up" often follows phrases like "people are weak", and there were no further elaboration on what you meant other than that you're "harsh" on the matter, which led me to the "suck it up" phrase.

 

What, then, did you mean by "people are weak"? Did you mean to apply this to both victims and perpetrators? I initially interpreted it that you meant people are weak to let bullying get to them, which is a common opinion.

 

People who are abused or bullied definitely can end up being bullies themselves. Breaking the cycle of abuse is difficult, since one of the ways abusers keep it going is force victims into keeping it quiet, that it's "just between you and me, no one else, got it". With the threat of further violence looming overhead if one speaks out, it's no wonder people refuse to make reports.

[Dark-hunter]

i think human beings in general are weak not specifically victims   bullies are just pathetic 

i don't have  much sympathy to begin with anyhow  for anyone so that's why i said im pretty harsh

and i was abused as  a kid  but that's another story     i never became a bully or one who was abused   

[† L4ugh]

I believe that anything is possible if you're willing to pay the price. The price to stop bullying would be freedom, especially freedom on the net. We would either have to give up our right to not be heavily monitored by our ISPs and government, or give up free web services like youtube and facebook. It's the freedom of these services and the anonymity of the net that make cyber bullying possible. People would have to know, and see, that their actions could be easily traced by those who desire to prosecute them.

 

Personally, I wish facebook and twitter would just go away, I hate them both. I wish google would become a pay site so they wouldn't have to pimp us out to the highest bidder. I would much rather pay google a monthly fee and have unlimited youtube upload rights with email, than have to worry about who google is selling my info to.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Video relevant to the subject. It's called To This Day and is about eight minutes.

 

 

Not everyone becomes a bully--I don't think it's an automatic given, haha. Some remain victims, possibly ending up replacing their abusers through one way or another (staying with abusive lovers, remaining in an abusive workplace), or they break the cycle. I think we all have our experience with the matter, whether cyber or IRL, however major or minor it may have been and regardless of which side of the coin we were on. And yet even knowing that, something I think a lot of people recognise at least intellectually, loneliness and reluctance are still very prevalent feelings--because people aren't sympathetic, because they're belittled and treated harshly even by unrelated third parties. It's considered shameful for people to be victims of bullying. The first accusation levied against them is "You're weak" and they're told to "just ignore it". Sticks and stones, indeed.

 

There was one person, they were in an abusive relationship. When they finally broke away, they vented to their sister and mother, both of whom said, "I never liked them anyway", "I thought they were untrustworthy", &c &c. Even something like that can be a trust-breaking moment--the person asked why they didn't step in sooner. If their mother and sister both had reservations about the other, why did they just let them remain in that situation? Why didn't anyone try to intervene?

 

I think fear and threats have a lot to do with it, as well as the lack of sympathy--but the fact that people think, "I shouldn't stick my nose into business that isn't mine" is a major factor as well. Even if it makes people feel weird, even if they get vibes like the situation isn't good, they won't step in and say something. Online, I know it's looked down upon to step into a situation--people cry foul, cry "White knight! Stop white knighting!" And not even just in the context of someone defending a female--anyone who stands up for someone else, regardless of anyone's genders, are called dogs and white knights.

 

It wasn't until I joined the military that anyone ever encouraged the idea of stepping in, of standing up for people in potentially dangerous situations. (As long as you weren't putting yourself into mortal peril, of course. Risk management and all that.) Before that, it was always, "mind your business" and "don't interfere with things that don't involve you" and "they/I don't need your help".

 

Anyway, I think there was a big name who was into the idea that all our online accounts would be linked together to our real name? Maybe Zuckerberg? I remember talking about it once somewhere on the forum. It was like, we'd have this central ID--similar to having a Google account--where you could sign up for different services and have different display names, but it ultimately led back to your real life identity. I don't know if we're going that route, but I know, at least in art circles, people are definitely turning to paid and private services to avoid abuse.

 

I don't really understand Twitter--it looks like an indecipherable mess to me, haha.

[valko]

What can be done to prevent cyber bullying? the answer is nothing,people can do as they please,we live in a world that caters to everyone,to suggest that we can teach people to not abuse someone over the net is just not plausible.The whole point of being on the net is you are anonomous,you can be who ever you like,and theres nothing really anyone can do,you can limit a persons ability to reach you via child saftey restrictions and programs to protect you but,short of turning your computer off and not going online,someone is always going to be able to reach you.

 

we live in a harsh and violent world,the best way to avoid things is to learn about them and learn how to protect yourself,that principle can be applied to everything.

Edited March 7, 2013 by valko

[† Emotional Outlet]

Why is it not plausible to teach people not be abusive? I see it every day--each day I'm at the library, I see parents who tell kids, "No, don't throw that", "Say 'excuse me'", "Don't touch them like that, say you're sorry". Doesn't matter the age, they're always corrected. I see the same kids most every day, so it's not just a one-off thing. In the military, we had regular training about how not to be complete jerks to people and we were taught the venues we could use if anything went wrong. It might be a drop in the bucket against all the other influences out there, but at least it's something, and it's not like we can never change even some of those other influences.

 

Like here on the forum, we do what we can to make it safe for people. When I saw people dog piling on one of our users, I stepped in for them and cut it right off. When we get reports about people using abusive language, we step in. When any of us, any of the staff, see something getting out of hand, we step in. You step in enough times, people are going to realise this isn't the place to pull that kind of crap. Maybe they'll go somewhere else to be abusive, I don't know, but at least we can do what we can in this specific environment. If enough sites did even that, maybe it'd be better. I can't say those practises will ever reach the likes of the chan image boards, but it's pretty much a given that most of those places are legitimately awful.

 

And again we go back to victim blaming--what if, even after you did everything you could to prevent it, it still happens? Is that when we start turning our attention towards the causes of these behaviours instead of just treating the symptoms? It sounds like the ultimate solution for a lot of people is the elimination of emotion and the transformation of everyone into a hermit, like some kind of Brave New World or Equilibrium thing. A gram is worth a damn.

 

I don't understand why it's so much to expect people to be able to control themselves enough to not abuse people over the Internet, or why it's so much to expect people to teach others to be respectful. Isn't that dehumanising and insulting, to have people just automatically expect that you'll be a complete jerk and that you have zero control over yourself just because you're on the Internet?

 

We can't be perfect--it's never going to go away completely, no. We're never going to turn into a Care Bears or My Little Pony universe (and even then, they still have villains). But that shouldn't mean we can't even try to be good, to try to ameliorate the situation and make it as good as we can get it. And then once we get as good as we can get, we keep going. They keep innovating cars and technology. Some people say we were better off riding horses, that people are lazy and incompetent without a phone in their hands. Why can't we keep innovating our society? Why are people content to stay where we are socially, but CRTs were awful enough that we've since moved onto flat-screen monitors?

[Dark-hunter]

are you just passionate about humans or is this touchy feelly stuff for everything ?

its foolish to think that everything can be taught  and that everything should try to be on your standards for human behavior 

this is what im getting from you  lols   you cant accept that some ppl are just going to be themselves 

 

now dont get me wrong am i saying that ppl should  be complete assholes?  no im not    but   some have  a degree of aggresivness that cant be overcome    you are only targeting  the abusers why not target the victims too  the could better protect themselves   all in all ur acting like abusers are the only ones responsible but in truth  so are the victims   

 

 

again this is not fact just my opinion  if this makes u think im some kinda intolerant ass face  so be it lols   though im very tolerable

[† L4ugh]

its foolish to think that everything can be taught  and that everything should try to be on your standards for human behavior 

this is what im getting from you  lols   you cant accept that some ppl are just going to be themselves 

 

I think there are far more people that desire a more enlightened human race than just EO, and I would consider myself one of them.

 

The idea that humans have to "just be themselves" doesn't make sense. We wouldn't have laws and governments if that was the case. We'd just move back into the trees with the rest of the apes. The idea that there are some things we just shouldn't do is what separates us from apes in the first place. The problem is that some of us haven't climbed all the way out of the tree yet.

 

you are only targeting  the abusers why not target the victims too  the could better protect themselves   all in all ur acting like abusers are the only ones responsible but in truth  so are the victims   

 

If you don't want to be referred to as a victim blamer, then maybe you should stop trying to blame the victims. EO has already mentioned that not everyone has a choice to not be bullied. Some people are targeted solely for their inability to escape those who would target them. Saying that these people are some way at fault because they didn't try to avoid bullying harder makes absolutely no sense at all. You say nothing can be done about bullying, but then blame the victims for not getting out of the way. If there's logic in that argument, I fail to see it.

[Dark-hunter]

i never said i blame victims    infact i was only pointing those things out   i never once said that they should avoid bullying harder as u put it   

 

 

 could better protect themselves     that is what i said     did i say they should avoid it   no  i said they could try to protect themselves better    

[† Emotional Outlet]

By putting the responsibility of dealing with bullying on victims, you are absolving abusers of responsibility. By telling the victims they were provoking a reaction, we reduce the humanity of abusers and strip them of their free will, painting them as creatures incapable of controlling themselves. Somehow all the power belongs to the victim, yet somehow they are almost always rendered powerless to do anything about it.

 

It is victim blaming to put the responsibility of dealing with bullying on the victims. It is victim blaming to put the responsibility of not provoking negative reactions from abusers onto the victims.

 

Not only do victims have to be careful to act and behave in a certain way, go to certain places and talk to certain people, if they are abused/attacked, it becomes their fault because they didn't do enough to protect themselves. (It's never enough.)

 

"Why were you out by yourself?"

"Why did you talk to them if you knew they were a jerk?"

"Why did you express your opinion if you knew it was going to cause a reaction?"

"Why did you post a picture of yourself?"

"Why didn't you just block them?"

"Why didn't you just leave the site?"

 

People target victims all the time. I don't need to--I don't want to--add my voice to the endless choir of voices telling them they were wrong and they were the ones who messed up. I've had those choirs turned on me often enough to resent their existence.

 

If it seems like I'm not sympathetic to the abusive pasts of people who do perpetrate violence, then I apologise for not making it clear. I've mentioned already that abusers tend to be caught in a cycle of abuse, absolutely--but at some point, personal responsibility has to come into it. Why did they feel they had to go out of their way to attack this person? What's happening with them that causes this? What can be done to break this cycle? How can we help these people? I don't think everyone who abuses others are so mentally damaged that they can't look inward on themselves and figure out what's going on.

 

Working that out can be a lot of effort--it's hard work for anyone, not just people who are abusive. It's not an exact science, so it's much easier to tell victims to avoid provoking people. It's easier to get mad at victims for getting hurt and attacked than it is to challenge a society that says it's okay to behave in this way. After all, we live in a cold and unforgiving world, expect no freebies, right? If a staff member on another forum decides to ban everyone on the site and redirect everyone to hardcore pornography, it's everyone else's fault for not doing something to prevent it, right? It's their fault for provoking the staff member, right?

 

Anything can be taught. Literally anything. Whether those teachings stick or resonate with everyone is something else entirely. I can't take the plight of otherkin seriously. I think beer tastes like vomit chunks and I don't understand the appeal of being drunk. My values are my own and I expect no one to automatically share them with me.

 

That I dream of a society where there are significantly fewer cases of bullying, whether online or off, that I wish people were able to express themselves freely without fear of reprisal--maybe it's unrealistic, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. It doesn't mean I want everyone to end up being identical drones (I've read enough dystopian literature to turn me off to the idea of a utopia entirely, even in my wildest dreams). I'm far from the only person who isn't happy with status quo and I'm far from the only person who speaks out against it. Ultimately, I don't think it's unrealistic. I'm not calling for an immediate change and I don't expect any shifts in societal norms to happen overnight. But they do happen and they can only happen if people say something about it.

 

You tell me I can't accept people are going to be themselves, but that blatantly isn't true. I disagree with a great many things. Tobacco and alcohol are my two big ones that a lot of people partake in. But I used to date a person who used chewing tobacco, almost everyone I've dated was somewhere on the sliding scale of alcoholism, and when I was in the military, I would step out to the smoke pit and chat with people. I accept people for who they are and what they do, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy with it. I can love people and still be unhappy with certain aspects of their behaviour. I expect no less of anyone else--no one is perfect (I'm clocking in at a 0.0001% perfection rate myself) and I think we all should strive to better ourselves at our own paces.

[Dark-hunter]

i wasn't saying that victims should take all or most of the blame  if any   i was simply saying that  they  could better protect themselves  like  owning  gun so a safe measure against some one breaking in   kinda thing

i at least know where u stand  atm  ^^

[valko]

Emotional Outlet you said before: Why is it not plausible to teach people not be abusive? And you used parents disciplining their kids and you used yourself as an admin stopping people from bullying someone on the forum, the problem is that in both cases the person stopping the bullying had power over the people doing the harm; a parent is a person with obvious power over their children, so of course a child will listen, in the case of you in the forum, well obviously you’re an admin with the power to silence people and ban then so of course they too will listen to you, because you have power over them.

 

But in the case of people in general there’s no one to enforce power over them to make them listen or learn that bullying in any form is wrong, there’s no way to effect change in their hearts unless they themselves want to stop, and as we all know there’s always going to be people who simply don’t care.

 

Really the only way to effect change on a global scale is to use passive encouragement in the form of those pictures with words you often see on facebook that usually make people laugh, but in some cases can be used to appeal to a person’s consciousness, or sense of right and wrong. And also the popular YouTube site where videos can be posted showing the very thing that people are trying to bring to a person’s attention.

 

Passive encouragement is the only real way to affect change in a large way, if you want something more than that then the only way to affect bullying is to have power over the person doing it and that’s pretty much impossible.