Sacrifices

[Zanco]

I was reminiscing with my self and I remembered a huge sacrifice I made about a year ago and I thought I'd make a thread for people to post their sacrifices that they've made and/or have gone through. So here it is, tell us all about it.

I'll go first:

Well in the 9th grade, I was involved with many illegal substantiates. And so one day I went skipping class in the middle of the day, at a forest behind the school to smoke some cigarettes (Newports, I usually don't smoke them. I prefer Winstons. Newports were all I had at the time.). Two or three cigarettes in, while I was listening to "The Last Time" by the Rolling Stones on my PSP just chillin' out when a cop came up behind me. I mean don't get me wrong I could've ran but I was so in zen that I just didn't give a shit. So they toke me to the office, toke my smokes. And started asking me if I knew any thing about the pot heads and gave me a list of a lot of people and I was on it. I really didn't care that I was on it, but I heard that one of my good friends, let's call him Goodman, was on the list. So to help him out I through the blame all on one guy, let's call this one Badman. When they dismissed me, I over heard them talk about a dog search. The thing about Goodman was that he always had "stuff" on him so to protect him I went spreading around a lie that I ratted him out, right when the school day ended. Just to be sure that he didn't have any thing on him when the search happened, and to make sure it was effective if by any way I would be absent the next day. The next day came and rest assured the police and their dogs did come, and Goodman was smart enough to know not to carry. The bad part about Goodman getting off scott-free was that now Goodman hated me, and Goodman help out Badman a lot. So I had both Goodman and Badman wanting to kick my ass until I left that school. Sure I could've tried to clarify things with Goodman, but he had a one track mind. It was easier to just keep letting Goodman and Badman hating me, getting gangs to threaten me, and even verbally abusing me destroying my reputation than to see Goodman behind bars.

So this was one big sacrifice I made, let's hear yours. It doesn't have to be big if you don't want it to be, just have it be true.

[Dark_Angel13]

Wow man, that's rough but I understand why you did it, I just wish it had worked out better for you =(

My sacrifice would have to be when I was 15, still living at home when my family decided to move to the country, we lived in the city where I had all my mates, some other fam and a life basically. I was all for staying, had it all planned out but when I saw how it was effecting my mum I went away and took some time and decided I'd move with them...Might not seem like much to some of you, but I dont make friends easily and in the middle of nowhere it's hard to have a life so I basically went from having a bunch of friends around to having none, no life and stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do at all...

-Sighs- This shit still pisses me off to this day cause now we're back in the city, as soon as I turned 18 we moved back...I gave up 3 years to keep my family together just to end up back where I wanted to be, only thing is now those old friends dont know me anymore or have forgotten me, the fam that was down here has moved away and again I have no life....So yeah...That's my sacrifice, I gave up pretty much all social contact and a life I loved for my family...Now I've got nothing...Well fam and a gf but that's it...

[† Anras Rune]

I was reminiscing with my self and I remembered a huge sacrifice I made about a year ago and I thought I'd make a thread for people to post their sacrifices that they've made and/or have gone through. So here it is, tell us all about it.

I'll go first:

Well in the 9th grade, I was involved with many illegal substantiates. And so one day I went skipping class in the middle of the day, at a forest behind the school to smoke some cigarettes (Newports, I usually don't smoke them. I prefer Winstons. Newports were all I had at the time.). Two or three cigarettes in, while I was listening to "The Last Time" by the Rolling Stones on my PSP just chillin' out when a cop came up behind me. I mean don't get me wrong I could've ran but I was so in zen that I just didn't give a shit. So they toke me to the office, toke my smokes. And started asking me if I knew any thing about the pot heads and gave me a list of a lot of people and I was on it. I really didn't care that I was on it, but I heard that one of my good friends, let's call him Goodman, was on the list. So to help him out I through the blame all on one guy, let's call this one Badman. When they dismissed me, I over heard them talk about a dog search. The thing about Goodman was that he always had "stuff" on him so to protect him I went spreading around a lie that I ratted him out, right when the school day ended. Just to be sure that he didn't have any thing on him when the search happened, and to make sure it was effective if by any way I would be absent the next day. The next day came and rest assured the police and their dogs did come, and Goodman was smart enough to know not to carry. The bad part about Goodman getting off scott-free was that now Goodman hated me, and Goodman help out Badman a lot. So I had both Goodman and Badman wanting to kick my ass until I left that school. Sure I could've tried to clarify things with Goodman, but he had a one track mind. It was easier to just keep letting Goodman and Badman hating me, getting gangs to threaten me, and even verbally abusing me destroying my reputation than to see Goodman behind bars.

So this was one big sacrifice I made, let's hear yours. It doesn't have to be big if you don't want it to be, just have it be true.

Dude, seriously? That was a stupid thing to do, really stupid. I mean, you weren't being arrested for anything (underage smoking isn't actually a crime in any country) so why the hell did you talk? I'm sorry to say, but the way you handled it wasn't exactly the smartest to say the least. Then the fact that you spread a rumour about yourself saying you ratted on your friend? Did you really think that through? I mean, why didn't you just phone him. Hell, why did you snitch on the Badman guy anyways? What did that get you? In all seriousness dude, I don't have much sympathy for that situation cause it seems much more like a case of reap what you sow...

I've had to sacrifice quite a few things, both for friends and family. I wouldn't talk about many of them and I certainly wouldn't want any of them to talk about it either. I will say though bemoaning any of the sacrifices I would not do...

[Zanco]

I was reminiscing with my self and I remembered a huge sacrifice I made about a year ago and I thought I'd make a thread for people to post their sacrifices that they've made and/or have gone through. So here it is, tell us all about it.

I'll go first:

Well in the 9th grade, I was involved with many illegal substantiates. And so one day I went skipping class in the middle of the day, at a forest behind the school to smoke some cigarettes (Newports, I usually don't smoke them. I prefer Winstons. Newports were all I had at the time.). Two or three cigarettes in, while I was listening to "The Last Time" by the Rolling Stones on my PSP just chillin' out when a cop came up behind me. I mean don't get me wrong I could've ran but I was so in zen that I just didn't give a shit. So they toke me to the office, toke my smokes. And started asking me if I knew any thing about the pot heads and gave me a list of a lot of people and I was on it. I really didn't care that I was on it, but I heard that one of my good friends, let's call him Goodman, was on the list. So to help him out I through the blame all on one guy, let's call this one Badman. When they dismissed me, I over heard them talk about a dog search. The thing about Goodman was that he always had "stuff" on him so to protect him I went spreading around a lie that I ratted him out, right when the school day ended. Just to be sure that he didn't have any thing on him when the search happened, and to make sure it was effective if by any way I would be absent the next day. The next day came and rest assured the police and their dogs did come, and Goodman was smart enough to know not to carry. The bad part about Goodman getting off scott-free was that now Goodman hated me, and Goodman help out Badman a lot. So I had both Goodman and Badman wanting to kick my ass until I left that school. Sure I could've tried to clarify things with Goodman, but he had a one track mind. It was easier to just keep letting Goodman and Badman hating me, getting gangs to threaten me, and even verbally abusing me destroying my reputation than to see Goodman behind bars.

So this was one big sacrifice I made, let's hear yours. It doesn't have to be big if you don't want it to be, just have it be true.

Dude, seriously? That was a stupid thing to do, really stupid. I mean, you weren't being arrested for anything (underage smoking isn't actually a crime in any country) so why the hell did you talk? I'm sorry to say, but the way you handled it wasn't exactly the smartest to say the least. Then the fact that you spread a rumour about yourself saying you ratted on your friend? Did you really think that through? I mean, why didn't you just phone him. Hell, why did you snitch on the Badman guy anyways? What did that get you? In all seriousness dude, I don't have much sympathy for that situation cause it seems much more like a case of reap what you sow...

I've had to sacrifice quite a few things, both for friends and family. I wouldn't talk about many of them and I certainly wouldn't want any of them to talk about it either. I will say though bemoaning any of the sacrifices I would not do...

No, of course I didn't think it through I was like four-teen or fife-teen. Underage smoking is illegal, I had to do community service. I don't expect most people to have any sympathy for the situation. I never liked Badman, so I pushed the blame to him just to do it mostly, but it also helped them lose suspicion over Goodman. I mean I could've just brushed it all off my shoulder but Goodman was my friend. So I handled the situation I found the easiest and quickest way I could think of, and in high school you know as well as I do gossip travels fast. So that's what I did and stuck with. I don't care what happened to me, I wasn't in any real trouble to begin with and reputation means nothing to me. I could've gone with out the harassment but what ever. It's all out of love, buddy.

Also, I don't own a phone. I don't like them. They're annoying.

Another thing, if you don't like the thread. Then just don't post here. You don't have to poke fun at every one who's posted in the thread just because you don't like the thread.

Edited August 14, 2012 by Zanco

[† Emotional Outlet]

Haha, I'm not entirely sure you can expect a fifteen year old to keep quiet when being pressed by authoritative figures. It would also seem that underage possession of marijuana is far more serious a crime than underage drinking (without delving too deeply into state law because I'm not a lawyer even though I once read a Wikipedia article on it), so I can understand why that would instill a bit of fear into someone if they knew a friend was carrying. There's a lot of things I did as a teenager that I look back upon and cringe, but you can't expect anyone to know all of the things regardless of their age. You live and learn.

As far as my personal sacrifices, I'm not sure I have any concrete examples. I tend to put the needs of others ahead of mine, to apologise and take the blame for any situation regardless of whether I should to avoid confrontation.

For years I refused to really speak against my mother and the way she treated me because I believed that would make me a terrible daughter and human being. I didn't want her to get in trouble, so I minimised my own feelings when speaking to counselors--for her, to "save" her. Eventually I learnt she had been denying ever laying a hand on me or even yelling at me almost the entire time, and I snapped. Years later, after we had been out of contact all that time, she tried to reach me on Facebook. She never apologised, never said she was wrong, never admitted that she hurt me. When I called her out on that, telling her that I won't forgive her if she continues to carry on like she did nothing wrong by me, she figuratively spat in my face and told me she hoped I found a husband like my father and some other nonsense that seemed to fall apart because English isn't her first language. She even misspelt my name, which I thought was absurd. And then she deleted her Facebook because I'm pretty sure even my brother detests her, even if he ever bothered to use his Facebook account and received any messages from her.

People always say joining the military is a huge sacrifice, but when you're seventeen and you hate the state you live in and the people around you, it wasn't exactly a difficult choice to make. The only thing that kept me from joining the Navy was they told me I had to cut my hair--I said, "Deuces!" and continued with the Air Force. In the four years I served, I've given up quite a bit of sleep, given up my free time, and--particularly during basic--my ability to stand and maintain higher level functions. But I've always been part of the military in one way or another--my father was in the Navy, still a young sailor when he had me (he didn't retire until the start of my junior year, I believe)--so it wasn't a huge leap for me. Nor were my sacrifices all that great compared to most anyone else.

So, I don't really know. I'm not exactly the best judge of my own character, haha.

[Alice]

Haha, I'm not entirely sure you can expect a fifteen year old to keep quiet when being pressed by authoritative figures. It would also seem that underage possession of marijuana is far more serious a crime than underage drinking (without delving too deeply into state law because I'm not a lawyer even though I once read a Wikipedia article on it), so I can understand why that would instill a bit of fear into someone if they knew a friend was carrying. There's a lot of things I did as a teenager that I look back upon and cringe, but you can't expect anyone to know all of the things regardless of their age. You live and learn.

As far as my personal sacrifices, I'm not sure I have any concrete examples. I tend to put the needs of others ahead of mine, to apologise and take the blame for any situation regardless of whether I should to avoid confrontation.

For years I refused to really speak against my mother and the way she treated me because I believed that would make me a terrible daughter and human being. I didn't want her to get in trouble, so I minimised my own feelings when speaking to counselors--for her, to "save" her. Eventually I learnt she had been denying ever laying a hand on me or even yelling at me almost the entire time, and I snapped. Years later, after we had been out of contact all that time, she tried to reach me on Facebook. She never apologised, never said she was wrong, never admitted that she hurt me.

I was the same but different. I don't think my mother ever wanted to have children. My mother was abusive from the time we were infant, but only to me. She basically just didn't pay my brother any mind. Anyways, my mother would just leave me in the crib all day long crying. She wouldn't feed me, change me, or anything. When I wouldn't stop crying she would me, as an infant. I wasn't taken care of til my dad got home from work. He would see the state I was in and feed/change me and then play with me til I was happy. Then he would set me down and he and mother would fight over what she was doing to me. When she had to take me out, she would put make up over my bruises and lie to all our neighbors and every one. This went on til I was about 11...I wasn't as self sacrificing at that time and constantly wondered why I was the only one being treated this way. Then the big fight happened. It was cold and raining, and my mother was throwing anything she could grab (see, she abused him as much as me) until finally he was forced to leave with out being able to get my brother and I. I felt like I had died that day. I was nothing but an empty shell for 3 days...all I kept thinking was "now, there is no one who can protect me". When I did come out of it, my mother was more violent than ever before, nothing to hold her back. For the first time ever she swung at my brother, because I ran from her. I snapped...I hated that she hit him. So, from then on I took the abuse from her without running. He never got hit again. Counselors and teachers at school would find my bruises, call the authorities, I would come home, get the crap beaten out of me, told to clean the house, and lie to the authorities when they came or she would kill me and my brother. So I would. She was a really good liar. No on ever believed me over her, because no one could ever tell she was lieing. Finally the authorities, even thou they couldn't prove that she was doing anything wrong, said if she it me one more time they would take us to my father to live. (Before you ask, my father wanted us from the get go and tried to get us, but my mom and her lawyer lied and made him out to be an unfit parent.) You wouldn't believe how hard I tried to get her to hit me after that. They stop her physical abuse but not her verbal, but she never directed at my brother ever again. If my brother was closest to her, I would get in front of him.

Eventually, I managed to leave only go to my father's house, but I just went from one abusive house to another, for my stepmother was a raging alcoholic and she hated my guts, but my dad never stood up for me again and stop it. He just let her do as she pleased. Thankfully, when she kicked me out, I was free. Now I have my own family and we are a happy little family about to had a child. Minkseru and I want to make sure are kids never have to experience such a bad childhood.

[Dark_Angel13]

Wow...I um...Yeah -hugs- I don't really...know what to say to that, I know it almost made me cry a little though...sad...and you're such a great person makes it even worse...=(...

[Alice]

I think it is why I don't let anything really bother me for very long. I had to go thru so much crap, that I just stopped caring. She did everything to me, she even almost killed me by trying to suffocate me to death, and even after several years of not talking to each other...like with EO, she never apologized to me or admitted she ever did anything wrong and she probably never will, but I just don't care anymore. I have my own family now and I will not let our children have to suffer like I did. She is trying to make up to me I think. I see she is at least attempting to pretend to change and seems to be quite excited for her first grandchild, but I think she regrets what she did. I don't think I could allow her to be alone with Minkseru and mine daughter, but I am allowing her to meet her granddaughter. Even I can't be alone with her, because then all the bad memories that haunted me with nightmares for years would return after I had locked them away. It's also a reason why I stopped wanting to sleep. My fear of sleep transferred to my adult years...now I just don't feel like sleeping.

[Dark_Angel13]

I understand that, I wouldnt want my child near her alone either, I wouldnt want Mink around her alone, that'd be bad enough...I was never really beaten in my life, not physically i mean, verbally a lot by family, still am but I can't say I can relate to this, not many can...I'm sorry you had to grow up this way but I'm glad now you have Mink and soon little Sakura who can help you put some of it behind you and maybe forget a little or lock it all away forever...

[Alice]

I hope so. Mink and Sakura are the best things that have happened to me, and they have both helped me to stop being depressed. I still have anxiety about things, but they have lessened them. I just going to be the best mom I can be to Sakura and watch her grow up happily and loved by us. Mink feels the same way. He sees me around children. I am always happiest around children, so he had no qualms about having children with me. He thinks it will help me to be happier in general to have my own children.

[Dark_Angel13]

Everybody has some anxiety about things...At least everyone who's had some form of messed up life, they'll eventually pass or be very minimal problems to you hopefully. I easily believe you when you say you'll be the best mom you can be, you know what it's like to grow up badly so Sakura will be a very happy child =). It most likely will help you to be happier in general, you'll finally have a family of your own, I'm not saying Mink isnt your family now but with a child it sort of binds it all together as your family, your rules etc etc, you'll be a great mom Sakura =)

[† Emotional Outlet]

Ah, letting her see her grandchildren is a lot more than I'm willing to do for my mother, haha. The way things are now, our kids are going to be quite short on grandparents, which wouldn't make it very different from mine. I never met my mother's side of the family (to include at least two half siblings) and I don't intend to, either. I have no curiosity about them.

My mother really had no idea how much I hated her. Before I started high school, she forced his hand to send my brother and I to her in Hawaii for a visit. We were supposed to stay there for a few weeks with her and her boyfriend, one of the ones she cheated on my dad with. Imagine all that teenaged angst I felt about not only being forced to visit someone I hated, but to see they lived in a nice house with nice furniture and apparently all the money to spend on a nice car and lavish unwanted gifts upon us when my dad just had his car repossessed and we were barely eating. I barely tolerated it for a few days before I started wanting to kill myself. My brother kept locking himself in the bathroom, screaming and crying that nobody cared about him. I threatened to kill myself if she didn't send us home and kept sending messages to my dad and my close friend at the time, saying how much I hated it and what it was doing to me.

All that, and all she could say was, "I'm glad you care so much about your studies" because she thought the reason we wanted to leave was because it was so close to the start of the new school year and we wanted time to prepare.

It's amazing the things people lie about, like your mother blatantly not wanting to have kids but still making the effort to fight for custody. From I've read in my dad's journal that he kept during the divorce episode, my mother did the same thing--tried to make my dad seem like the bad guy, as if she was so terrified of him. When we were staying at the Navy Lodge, before my dad was forced to stay in the barracks away from us, she'd sleep with a knife under her pillow. Like my dad would ever do anything--when she slapped the glasses off his face, he at least had the decency to take my brother and I to a safe location before talking to her privately.

It's great that you're carrying on and finding your happiness, though. Letting them keep hold over you, even if not directly, isn't much of a way to live. I hope the best for you.

[Alice]

Thanks EO! That's is what best for our daughter. To move forward away from the past. Mink and her are the keys to helping achieve that. I won't let my daughter suffer. I will be happy so she can be happy. I want her to have to childhood I never had. She will be loved and happy. The only reason I am letting her near any of her grandparents is because I am trying to be the bigger person and at least let her meet them. I don't have to worry much about her with my mother. My mother lives quite far from me and never visits me. The only time she ever visited me is when Mink and I got married and she came to the wedding. She is making a special trip to visit her granddaughter, and then I probably won't see her for years after that. My dad and is alcoholic wife are thinking of moving from North Carolina to Georgia because of his work. So I hopefully won't have to worry about Sakura getting bad influences from them.

Even thou I protected my brother from being directly abused...he was affected worse than any of us thought. Apparently, just watching his older sister being beaten so constantly and severely...it affect him mentally. He is so messed up in the head right now it's unreal.

[Zanco]

Heh. I didn't think there were any other military brats here, I guess I'll tell you a sacrifice I made for my father than.

Ever since I was 6 my father suffered from PTSD, depression, and constant nighterrors from Desert Storm. It was alway there but the PTSD never really affected us, in fact it probably made us stronger as a familiy... In the begining. Eventually when I was 8, or so, and my dad would watch T.V. ... He'd just sit there. Almost like a dead corpse, to locked up to fall over to the ground. It was nothing short of scarry, but what happened when you tried to wake him up from this transe... It was nothing short of terrifying. (I'm sorry If I start misspelling words. I'm starting to tear up.) He'd jump out of the chair and scream or just stare at me until he noticed what was going on. It was really bad, but we got him help. By the time I was about 11 oe 12, he was- seemed kured. I thought he was cured. Then I turn 14, and it's like I was 8 again. It came back out of no were and it was even worse. I'm not going to explain to much how bad it got because... I'm trying to repress those memories, I just remember alot of hiting and screaming and waking up in the middle of the night to glass shattering.... I didn't wan't this, my dad was dead to me. I didn't want to live in a world like this. Eventually, it almost lead my perants to devorce... They almost did, but I still wanted my pops around because I love him. He's my old man, afterall. ... So I swolloed all the hatred that was mustered up for him. I toke back all the things I though bad about him. And just help him and my mom to the best of my ability, even if it got me hirt. I wanted to save the family. So all of us put our maliciouse feelings aside and helped our dad recover for the second time. I wish I could say that's where it all ended, but knowing my LUCK , it wasn't... The veterens hospital kept him there for an extended 2 months. At least, we thought he was in the veterin's hospital. Turns out the military, was taking him all over the country and tested him. Did hell knows what to him. I wish I could make this up but by the time he got back he relapsed... I tried to killmyself... It didn't work obviously. Only my mother knew I tried, It would make things worse if my father knew... He still dosn't know. After I got back on my own two legs, I slapped my self alittle to bring me back into reallity, stop being such a selfish fuck and help the dying war hero in the other room. That's what we all did. After illegaly taking my father out of the colony, into the owner country. We had to fight back, and fight back we did. We were able to pull a law suit up against the 1 mother fucking commander in puerto rico, and a whole batalion in florida that was funding his little trips. It ended up with the division of the batalion and maybe 4 disshonorable disscharge's. It would've been alot easier just leaving my dad, going off, devorcing, living some were else with some one else. We might even have more money if we did that. Hell we probably clould've made him a homless person you see on the streets, out of pure angst. I swalloed my pride, emotions, and a little bit of my dignity to help keep my family togeather and were still pushing on.

I didn't post this to judge you, make fun of your lives, or one-up you. I didn't post this because it was the biggest sacrifice I'ce made so far. I posted this because I needed to let it out, and now that I have I can forget about it and push harder. I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I won't live in the past. This whole dibacle ended in december of last year. I thought I'd never get any of that off my chest. Hell, I never thought I'd post it to people I bearly even know online.

Also, I really feel for you two. No one can pick their families, and no one can predict the future. For what ever reason, or for what ever happens, no matter what, you gotta keep on keepin' on.

I'm going to go watch a comedy know, writing this was about as much drama I can take in one sitting.

With all that being said, I'm probably never going to post on this thread again.

Edited August 14, 2012 by Zanco

[Alice]

No, sadly, you can't choose the family your born into, but you can choose the family to bring your own children into. I can never get rid of my part of the family from our little Sakura but I can minimize the time she is around them. I don't want her around that kind of behavior if I can handle it. Mink's family is much better and no near what mine is like. Even now I am still the black sheep of the family. Everything that's wrong with my family is apparently my fault and I can do nothing right...even thou I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, and I don't even have a life outside of home. I take care of my family and finances. That's all I ever do. The only reason I keep taking on all the verbal abuse is because of my half brother and sister, I want them to see that there are good people and not everyone acts as bad as their parents.

[† Emotional Outlet]

Haha, I don't think anyone is trying one up anyone, so you don't have to worry about coming off that way. Sharing the hurt you've been through has its cathartic effects and the whole point of a forum is to get to know each other. This has been my home for many years and no matter how long I stray from it, I always end up coming back. It's why I don't really think much about sharing my stories here. We're just people.

PTSD isn't exactly the most understood of illnesses, especially not with the attitude a lot of people tend to have towards mental illness. I hope things work out for you, though.

[AxelVIII]

I do not intend for this to be a way to get sympathy, but here goes:

Throughout my life, I have lost much, first it started with my grandmother, then my alcoholic Father, then my home and school which led to the loss of my friends. We then found another residence (Not a good one) and another school for me to go to. I then worked as hard as I could to make friends, but ended up with them abandoning, bullying, or betraying me. This went on for many years, and as it went on I started to doubt the people around me, and lost all trust in people. A few years went by, and my Freshman year of Highschool came along. I was the guy, dressed in complete Black, sat in the very back of the room, didn't do much of my work, and never talked to anyone, even when they tried talking to me. A girl approached me one day, and for some reason I felt that I could trust her with my whole heart. So I did. I put all I had into being her friend. some time past by, and our friendship grew, but I wasn't sure weather she felt the same way, or she thought I was a charity case for my mental problems. To shorten this story, I am an extremist, so subconsciously I was giving her a test to figure out how she felt. And by doing that, I sacrificed the relationship I shared with this girl, and have not made a friend since. That was four years ago.

Edited November 20, 2012 by AxelVIII

[Dark_Angel13]

I do that stuff too, tests and crap...You sound like how I was in highschool too...That's why I now have only 1 friend and a gf at least so I guess I'm a little better off