The Darkness Inside

[~=>Dark<=~]

i plan to broke it down to parts and stuff win i get done with it

The Darkness Inside

For A Time I Have Been Feeling The Over Flowing Power Of the Darkness Pulling At Me

One day a dark shadow came out of the darkness, in my room and it came up to me and start talking about all this insane stuff I had been doing in my sleep. I started to wonder if I had gone crazy or it was just a dream. Then for some reason out of no where, I answered the dark shadow, "Who are you? I do not know what you're talking about." As a smile, unlike me, showed in the mirror across from my bed, on the wall a weird red glow showed in my eyes. I did not even know what was going on. The voice in my head start to say, "I am your dark side and I'm taking control. I'm sick of being in the shadows and only coming out with your happy go lucky ass goes to sleep or if your in a bad mood for some reason!" I start to think to myself, "I most be going crazy... 'I will just lay down and I will feel better like normal.'" Then the voice in my head said, "Yes, yes go lay down it well make it so much more easier for me. It will better for you if you just go lay down and let me out, like you always do." I looked in the mirror on the wall and I could see that my right eye had gone pure red. I tried to close the one eye or even blink but nothing made it change. Then there was a knock on my door. "Here we go again! Who is it?" There was no answer. "Grrr..." I got up and walked over to the door, right as I was about to open it, there was a knock at my window. I opened my door not paying any attention to the knock at the window. There was no one outside my door but the back door was open. I walked over and closed the door and locked the door. I walked back in my room to my bed, then there was a knock at the window again. It was midnight outside, who could be knocking on my window? I had this feeling that if I looked, it would not be good. I sighed and reached to open the curtain but my right eye start to really burn. Then the voice in my head, that I some how was trying to block out said, "If I was you, I would not do that." Whats out there knocking on the window is not something you can deal with. I'm not even sure I could deal with it. You better go have a look around the house to make sure one of them things, that are out there, are not in here." Stupid me answered the voice in my head, "What do you mean things and what do you mean your not even sure you could deal with it more or less me?"

Like I said, your weak, you are to happy, you would not even stand a chance in fighting. If you were asleep, I could probably deal with it myself but your awake and I'm not at my full strength. I have not had any blood in a long time. I looked at the mirror across the room, my right eye was even more red, a very deep red, that you only see in blood. "What do you mean by blood and what do you mean by strength? I never really thought I was weak but what your saying is that I have some super human strenght?" "Yes you fool! Your not even human in the first place! You just forgot what you really are all this time. You have spent so long with these weak humans, which have made you forget who you really are." "What do you mean who I really am? I don't understand." "Well why don't you open that curtain and find out what you really are." "What do you mean find out? I don't get it at all. What the hell are you talking about!" "Why don't you try to smell around for once." I smell everything "Smells normal to me." "Oh my god! You are so hopeless... Fine give me control and I will not take full control. I am you anyways, it wouldn't make a difference if I did take full control or not. You could probably take it back in no time." "Grr... Your making less and less since! I am going to go get something to drink maybe that well help." "Fine... But I warn you I'm pretty sure that whats outside that window is inside this house right now." I get up and walk over to the door then look back at the window. There was a knock on it again. this time a little louder then before. I start to sweat. "Whatever is knocking on my window could probably broke it. Then I would be in big trouble." I walk back over to the window. Right as a I go to open it, I take a deep breath. "What is that smell? It's not normal, it smells sweet with a little smell of there really no other word to it put but shit." I take a step back then memories started to come back to me. Of blood everywhere, blood on the walls, blood on the ceiling, blood on the floor. I looked at myself in the mirror across the room. "That I don't know or do I know what going on." I start to panic, I dropped to one knee. Slowly I take a deep breath. This time the smell of blood was stronger. Something inside me started to thirst for not food, not a soda, but this sweet smell. the voice in my head start to talk again, "Now your starting to get that right, your not human." "What do you mean I'm not human? What about the movies and stuff I've seen about them like walking in sun light and stuff. Like that I do it everyday." The voice in my head, "Yes that why there out there out there, not like you, your not human or a vampire." I start to freak out win he said "vampire." Both of my knees where on the floor now. "What do you mean I don't understand... What the hell are you talking about? Vampire?? What do you mean vampire? Vampires are not real. They are only some stupid legend some kids made up to scary little kids." "You fool they are very real and their here and there's more tham one. This time for the last four months, they have been coming here. One at a time but not this time. They mostly started to come when you started to wake up from you long sleep. You did something really bad when you were young. Then you blocked it all out. You forgot, you block your memories and you made me at the same time to deal with your thirst as well as deal with anything that would come after you." I looked across the room again to the mirror on the wall, this time I got really scared. both of my eyes where blood red.

The voice in my head start up again. "Well.. well.. what do we have here? I myself have not seen your eyes this red before. Well not in the times I was in control." "What do you mean? I don't even understand whats going on myself." "Like I said, you started to wake up the power you used to block out your memories. It was not meant to be used for this long and you have not been able to feed in the last two nights. So the blockade that was blocking my voice from reaching you, is now broken. So there for, you can hear me now and the shadow you seen was me coming in." "Okay. So what your saying is I have been using powers... that I had no idea i was using, to block your voice on the nights that i stay up? And why would just two nights of not feeding kill the blockade?" "Because on the nights you stayed up, I only had a little time to look for food. And there so happened be someone close by to feed on." "I'm not even going to ask what happen to them. But if you feed on someone don't they turn in to vampire them selves? What I have seen in books and on tv, that only happens when you drain them of all their blood and give them your blood." As we where talking there was a knock on the window and at the back door this time. "God damn it! I got to deal with this." Some how he gets up but right has he start to get up his head start to hurt terribly. Then some of his memories start to come back to him. About how to fight, read minds and control fire. "What the hell is going on! you did not say that getting my memories back would hurt this much when they came back." "Well I have never seen it done, so... I don't know at all. I know that you will not get them all back at one time, some will come back one at a time. Some will come more then one at a time." He makes a ball of fire in his hand. "Well this is kind cool." As he makes the fire ball bigger and smaller.

update again enjoy only came up with a little more for now

to be continued

Edited September 22, 2012 by Emotional Outlet

[† Emotional Outlet]

It's an interesting premise and I would like to continue to see your own take on vampire lore, but you could really use an editor. It was difficult to tell who was talking when everything is run together without punctuation. It does make for an interesting effect, almost like reading the diary of an insane person. This is fine for a little bit and certainly adds to the atmosphere, but it is tedious to read for extended periods of time.

[~=>Dark<=~]

i would love to have a editor but i never could really find one who would be welling to take on my work bc my grammar and all that is so bad i try to fix it but once i get started i just get in to my own peace and win i try to add in all the . and stuff i slow down and get bored of it and give up that why i never really wanted to take on writing for a living or anything like that and he not a vampire but that well come later he is a vampire but he not a vampire you well haft to look frond to that

bump can someone change the title of this to The Darkness Inside i don't no how it end up like that

the edit has been done there well be more to come sorry it has taken so long i well be writing more soon so get ready

[† Emotional Outlet]

i would love to have a editor but i never could really find one who would be welling to take on my work bc my grammar and all that is so bad i try to fix it but once i get started i just get in to my own peace and win i try to add in all the . and stuff i slow down and get bored of it and give up that why i never really wanted to take on writing for a living or anything like that and he not a vampire but that well come later he is a vampire but he not a vampire you well haft to look frond to that

Haha, a good editor can be difficult to find, and a lot of writers I know tend not to worry themselves with having their grammar perfect. It is, after all, what an editor is for, and it's hard to edit your own work since you're so used to looking at it. I can comb through your stuff if you want, it'll just take me a little while because I work long and random hours.

And I edited your thread title as requested!

[~=>Dark<=~]

sure if you feel like fixing the misspelling and bad wording feel free i don't mind at all it makes it easier for the reader to enjoy but if you do change the words around i would really like it if you discuss it with me first pms are fine i look on here about once or twice a day to see if i have new pms or if anyone has said anything new on here

+ right now i am have a hard time trying to think of where i am going to go with the story i not to sure if i want to awaken him at his full power or just play out the house part some more and late him get his power or his memories back little by little i am sure if i did the little by little the story could go on forever i mean i have a lot of ideas of what powers he going to have i could even go umlimted powers he just gets them at random but that sounds boring to me so ya i am little lost on where to go right now

[~=>Dark<=~]

update enjoy

[dark4yoyo]

I'm going to read this and point out all the weird things I find. I must admit it needs spaces, as it is it really dosn't make you want to read it (well the fact that it's 2am might be influencing that).

[~=>Dark<=~]

ya i know it needs space but it not done i well be parting it down win i get close to getting done with it right now it fine the way it is pettier much just a rough draft of what it going to be i just have it up the way it is now for people opinion on it and feed back it my first story that i put out for everyone to read and give me feed back on most of the time i just write in a notepad and delete it later win i get bored of it or don't feel like working anymore on it but right now the story is on hold to i figure out where i am going to go with it now i done what i am going to do with his powers he going to have a hell of lot more then that but not something that way to far out there kinda taking ideas from twilight and putting them together just power wise not story so it would not be something new that vampire book fans have seen but not something vampire book fans have seen a lot of