Kids aren't kids anymore.

[AaronScythe]

I think the problem is that people arent letting kids make their own mistakes anymore. Take underage drinking for example - most kids do it to rebel against their parents that strictly "banned" them from it until the legal age to purchase in their area. Kids always want what they cant have.

When I was young, I asked my mum what a smoke was like and she let me try. After coughing my lungs up I never liked smokes for the rest of my life (even though I have had a few on rare occasions...) When it came to alcohol, I learnt the hard way and went out to a party where they were drinking goon... I still drink, but to this day I have never done anything someone would regard as stupid and to blame on the drink (even the first time was good, just ended up lying down on the carpet because it felt comfy)

It all comes down to how you handle things psychologically. If you believe everything is going to send you out of control it will. If you are just there for the social event then things are fine, you enjoy yourself, and nothing bad ever really comes from it.

As for the things about skinny models and all that, there is a point. While some of the girls think of that direction, there are also ones doing the opposite, eating more to gain weight, so they can have larger breasts.

But then you talk to these girls, they practically deserve their fate. Nature or nurture, they themselves are shallow soulless beings. Its only when they actually mature that they will stop obsessing over their looks, and focus on the more important things.

The real sad part is the guys though. The amount of crap I heard in highschool about them going out drinking and doing things was hilarious. Pretty much to them it seemed a 6 pack of beer got you paralyzed, so they built their stories around low quantities of alcohol. What was worse was after someone corrected them on that, they started talking about overly large quantities - ones that would get them alcohol poisoning long before they reached the halfway point.

Its all image, on both sides. And when they are put to the test on living up to their image, they will always overdo it and screw up badly.

Personally, I'm 19 and can drink almost every one of those idiots under the table. I think it comes down to how I was introduced to it relatively early, so my system had time to adapt to it. That, and how I am calm when drinking in comparison.

But, kids will be blowhards, and the small group that actually knows will just laugh at them for generations to come. That is the way things work, always have, and always will.

[† Ferocia Coutura]

Okay, I see where you're coming from. I have a question, thoguh. My friend, who will be named Gigi for this post, dated a guy. Gigi was a healthy, 120ish pound girl and was the NICEST person anyone could ever meet. She was 4.0, a good artist, and never ever said a bad word about anyone. One day, though, her boyfriend told her that she should look more like a model, would grab her stomach, and call her a fat-**s. Very soon, she became belimic and couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. She now, seven years later, still has a problem, it ruined her life, she wieghs 69 pounds, and can't even come to school becuase of her problems. Oh, and they we were all in fifth grade when this happened. I guess it just makes me mad that this girls life was just flushed down the tube so quickly. Would you blame her nature or nurture, because I blame the guy. And if I could, I am not ashamed to say that I would want to kill him. That's how much I hate guys like that.

[† L4ugh]

I think blaming parents for 99.9% isn't really fair because parents in the modern world don't spend enough time with there children to be 99.9% responsible for their failed upbringing. You have to think about the time a child spends at school, with friends, or even other family members. Parents are definitely the biggest factor in this but poor quality teachers and friends that encourage negative actions can have just as much of a negative impact on the behavior of children. Like Honey_Prince mentioned with his friend, if a friend or loved one continuously fills a child's head with negative ideas it wouldn't matter what they hear from their parents, after awhile they will act on those negative ideas to please the friend/loved one. While parents should be able to filter their children from such negative people, at times it can become difficult because the person in question is either not know about or could be a family member.

My older sister has three children and the two boys are complete terrors who curse and hit their mother whenever they don't get what they want. She works 10/12 hour days 4 days a week and travels an hour one way to get there. She hardly ever gets to see her children and her husband is MIA with this GF. She requires alot of help raising her children which she gets from our mom, myself, and her mother in law. The problem is that her mother in law has decided that it is ok for them to curse around her and that fighting is fine as well because boys will be boys. She also tells them not to listen to me or my mother and bribes them to prefer her, so that anytime we tell them they can't have or do something they cry and scream for grandma Carol. It is becoming nearly impossible to get these kids to do anything, and their educations are even beginning to suffer because of their refusal to focus on their school work. It isn't possible to keep the kids away from her because if my sister does tell her no, she just calls her son who picks up the kids to spend time with them but an hour later they are at grandma's house again. So is it really my sister's fault that her kids have no real future to look forward to.

I don't believe it is just a single parent issue either. Me and both my sisters were raised in a single family home and both me and my older sister turned out fine but my younger sister was a terror herself. My mom didn't raise her any differently then she raised us. The only real difference was my younger sister was forced to go to public school while me and my older sister stayed in a private catholic school until high school. We had friends that offered positive motivation while my younger sister ended up with a very negative crowd.

I think parents are responsible for most of the upbringing of children but only up to the amount of time they are able to spend with them. Parents can't spend every waking moment with their kids, it just isn't possible. So they have to rely on the other people in the lives of their children. Most interactions with negative people should be controllable by the parents as well, but it's impossible to control it all unless you keep them locked up. I just can't see blaming parents for any more the 80% of what goes wrong with children. Family, friends, and the education system have to take responsibility for the rest. Unfortunately though that 20% is sometimes enough to corrupt the life of a child.

[seirachan]

Okay, I see where you're coming from. I have a question, thoguh. My friend, who will be named Gigi for this post, dated a guy. Gigi was a healthy, 120ish pound girl and was the NICEST person anyone could ever meet. She was 4.0, a good artist, and never ever said a bad word about anyone. One day, though, her boyfriend told her that she should look more like a model, would grab her stomach, and call her a fat-**s. Very soon, she became belimic and couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. She now, seven years later, still has a problem, it ruined her life, she wieghs 69 pounds, and can't even come to school becuase of her problems. Oh, and they we were all in fifth grade when this happened. I guess it just makes me mad that this girls life was just flushed down the tube so quickly. Would you blame her nature or nurture, because I blame the guy. And if I could, I am not ashamed to say that I would want to kill him. That's how much I hate guys like that.

When they were in grade 5? dating shouldn't be happening till high school really. Cause 99% of very young relationships fail. Children are cruel and just don't understand that is a fact. That boy probably didn't know that would hurt her cause he didn't learn that lesson yet. Some kids don't even think about emotions at all because it never crosses their mind. You really can't blame someone in the 5th damn grade. Hes got so many years to grow up. That girl needs to snap out of it. One comment and it ruins her life? In grade 5 none the less. She needs to get over it. If nothing works get her to a psychiatrist.

[Kasoivc]

I think parents are responsible for most of the upbringing of children but only up to the amount of time they are able to spend with them. Parents can't spend every waking moment with their kids, it just isn't possible. So they have to rely on the other people in the lives of their children. Most interactions with negative people should be controllable by the parents as well, but it's impossible to control it all unless you keep them locked up. I just can't see blaming parents for any more the 80% of what goes wrong with children. Family, friends, and the education system have to take responsibility for the rest. Unfortunately though that 20% is sometimes enough to corrupt the life of a child.

Well noted L4ugh, from my view I see that as highly truthful from my situation; though that may only be speculative and unarguable in other cases. A parent should ideally want to be a major factor in their child's life but it is absolutely true that they cannot hold their hand every step of the way in life. We all know of that one pair of parents that record literally everything their child does from ages 1-10.

In my perspective, I guess children aren't really learning "everything" there is out there; some things the youth have to experience them self. Educational facilities fill their heads with knowledge about the typical four school subjects and their interests when it comes to electives, but outside that; they're clueless. I'm a junior in high school and within one year I'll be fresh out of high school. Nobody ever taught me to do my taxes, how to play an instrument, do my own laundry, cook using the stove or oven, even cut my own hair on my own; I had to learn by myself - taught myself through trial and error. It's even a little sad to say I have very few friends that have stuck with me all twelve years. However, I wouldn't have been able to learn all that if I hadn't enabled myself to. I forced myself to learn these basic skills that others think would be something naturally learned on their own.

Is it a bit pathetic to say there are people older than me that don't know how to cook anything other then in a microwave?

I for one appreciate that my brothers have helped me along and taught me things about life that they didn't know when they were my age, but some of the things that I've come across - I had never been prepared for beforehand and ended up crashing and burning all the way.

Still, I believe children these days are just far too sheltered... People say we learn by making mistakes... but how can we learn if we can never make those mistakes? Also we're enabled to learn from others' mistakes, but still - even then, what you learn from others is vastly limited to your own experience.

[† Ferocia Coutura]

When they were in grade 5? dating shouldn't be happening till high school really. Cause 99% of very young relationships fail. Children are cruel and just don't understand that is a fact. That boy probably didn't know that would hurt her cause he didn't learn that lesson yet. Some kids don't even think about emotions at all because it never crosses their mind. You really can't blame someone in the 5th damn grade. Hes got so many years to grow up. That girl needs to snap out of it. One comment and it ruins her life? In grade 5 none the less. She needs to get over it. If nothing works get her to a psychiatrist.

This went on until 8th grade. I'm not saying that shes not weak, but its the same thing when a girl is in an abusive relationship and they don't leave. Oh, and she's went to a physchiatric facility last year in florida. She's a little better. But I'm sorry, when someone does it for four years, they know what the hell their doing.

[seirachan]

This went on until 8th grade. I'm not saying that shes not weak, but its the same thing when a girl is in an abusive relationship and they don't leave. Oh, and she's went to a physchiatric facility last year in florida. She's a little better. But I'm sorry, when someone does it for four years, they know what the hell their doing.

by abusive did he hit her? I've been in a abusive relationship before hitting and words. I know it's hard to leave and what not. Good she got out. If shes still having problems she should talk with psychiatrist. I don't mean to go into facility or anything major. Just to talk, but it's up to her in the end. Other then that just support her and be a good friend. She needs to get her confidence up and put and prick behind her. So she can be healthy again. Only she can help herself in the end.

4 years doesn't mean you know what your doing. It means you wont leave. I lasted 3 years and all I got was a punch in the face. I don't know if he ever treated her good at all though in her relationship. I know in mine i didn't get anything but yelling and money taken from me.

But that boy really needed to learn a lesson. Hopefully somewhere down the line he will grow up and get a smack in the face if hes still a prick. But understand that most people go through a lot of changes from the ages 11-15. If hes still bad, Karma will get him good. Even if it takes years. But hopefully from that karma he will learn.

[† Ferocia Coutura]

But that boy really needed to learn a lesson. Hopefully somewhere down the line he will grow up and get a smack in the face if hes still a prick. But understand that most people go through a lot of changes from the ages 11-15. If hes still bad, Karma will get him good. Even if it takes years. But hopefully from that karma he will learn.

Boy, I hope he learns one day. . .