Myrodis19 Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) So once again i come to you all with the hope that you all could help me out in figuring out my Women issue. In the past you all have helped me tremendously with my issues. Also was not sure where to post this so if it is in the wrong area feel free to move it of course.So on to my question i have recently been talking to this girl on Facebook, we started talking last Sunday. We would talk here and there, then i got brave and asked if she wanted to hang out. She says yes and offers up going to dinner or seeing a movie, i then asks for her number and she gives it to me. She also says she loves meeting new people and hanging. What i am confused is does she want to go out on a date i mean did she think i was asking that or what. Thanks in advance, this is confusing me and i am not sure what train of thought to be going on at the moment if that makes sense. Edited November 30, 2012 by Myrodis19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickthePwn3r Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 Take it slow dude, i have ruined many chances but taking it to fast. Go to the movies her and chat her up occasionally and see where it takes you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 Take it slow dude, i have ruined many chances but taking it to fast. Go to the movies her and chat her up occasionally and see where it takes you.What i was thinking i am just not sure whether she wanted a date or not by her responses. After i first read what she said i was like "Wait a minute did i just get a date," and that where my confusion lies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seirachan Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) If you didn't outright say, "Lets go on a date" then it's not a date. One guy asked me to go have lunch with him, then asked me to go to the movies I was like "sure" then later he said it was a date and I refused. The best way to do it is be friends first then if you think shes right for you ask her if she wants to go on a date/confess.Okay I'm gonna add a bit more.One day a friend of mine asked me to go to the movies with him and our other friend. I said sure. But our other friend bailed out and he asked me if I still wanna go I said sure. So we went to the movies had a good time, hung out at my place then just about everyday he was visiting me after work. I started falling for him, and a week later I asked him out he was flustered but he said yes. Now we are very happy together Edited November 24, 2012 by seirachan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 If you didn't outright say, "Lets go on a date" then it's not a date. One guy asked me to go have lunch with him, then asked me to go to the movies I was like "sure" then later said it was a date and I refused. The best way to do it is be friends first then if you think shes right for you ask her if she wants to go on a date/confess.That's true, and thanks for the advice. Despite this seeming to be a simple thing i was confused. For that matter got any other advice? ive been out of the dating scene for 4 months been in bootcamp and such. SO i am not sure how long is good to ask her/a girl out and stuff liek that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seirachan Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 If you didn't outright say, "Lets go on a date" then it's not a date. One guy asked me to go have lunch with him, then asked me to go to the movies I was like "sure" then later said it was a date and I refused. The best way to do it is be friends first then if you think shes right for you ask her if she wants to go on a date/confess.That's true, and thanks for the advice. Despite this seeming to be a simple thing i was confused. For that matter got any other advice? ive been out of the dating scene for 4 months been in bootcamp and such. SO i am not sure how long is good to ask her/a girl out and stuff liek that.I added more on my post, also i loled at your sanji pic and this post haha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 If you didn't outright say, "Lets go on a date" then it's not a date. One guy asked me to go have lunch with him, then asked me to go to the movies I was like "sure" then later said it was a date and I refused. The best way to do it is be friends first then if you think shes right for you ask her if she wants to go on a date/confess.That's true, and thanks for the advice. Despite this seeming to be a simple thing i was confused. For that matter got any other advice? ive been out of the dating scene for 4 months been in bootcamp and such. SO i am not sure how long is good to ask her/a girl out and stuff liek that.I added more on my post, also i loled at your sanji pic and this post hahaThank you for the advice/input it is very appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
† Emotional Outlet Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 I agree that you should take it slow. Coming on too strong from the start can be a little intimidating.That in mind, though, be honest about your intentions. Things can get pretty awkward when you find out that one of your friends has been harbouring feelings for you for months and had just been awkwardly sitting there waiting for you to notice.Beware Nice Guy Syndrome!I don't know what kind of person this girl is, but I can tell you a little from my perspective. I'm the kind of person who generally agrees to go out with people, even if it's just me and some dude. It's usually okay, but some people get the wrong idea. Like I went to a farmer's market with one of my friends and he asked if there was anything more to it. I said no and that was the end of that. To be fair, he's always been awkward because he was homeschooled, haha. Sometimes there's something more to it, and sometimes there's not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malyssa Rahl Posted November 24, 2012 Report Share Posted November 24, 2012 Nobody has to say the word date to make it one. It's all about how you both feel about it.My advice, do take it slow like they said, but don't worry about if it's a date or not. If it is, she'll let you know, most likely in a more subtle way. If it's not, you're still hanging out with a nice girl, and that can lead to other things later.When you do finally decide to ask specifically for a date, be confident about it. In your head, you must convince yourself that the answer is not important, because really, it's not. If she says no to a date, turn it around and ask to hang out again. Don't ask for a date every time though. Keep it casual as much as possible unless she's the type to go for all the formal courtship rituals.Another bit of advice. When you go to pay, watch her, if she doesn't even act like she's reaching for money, it's most likely a date. If she gets her money out to pay for both of you before you can, you're on a date with a strong modern woman. If she gets just enough to pay for her out, then it's either just hanging out, or she's not into the whole "One of us should pay for it all!" thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted November 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2012 Thank you all for the advice, i have decided to just play it cool and go slow, see what happens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Nowadays you don't even have to say "date" and the outing will be a date. I would make sure that intentions are clear so that no one misinterprets the meaning. Make sure on whether "hanging out" means hanging out as friends or if it means "date". Definitely play it cool and go slow with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
† Emotional Outlet Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Nowadays you don't even have to say "date" and the outing will be a date.If both/all people involved don't recognise it as a date, how can you really say it's actually a date? Maybe in the mind of one person it's a date, but if they don't make their intentions clear to the rest of the people involved in the outing, I don't think it particularly fair to call it a date. What makes their "reality" any more valid than the person who thinks they're just friends hanging out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 (edited) First of all, life isn't fair...sadly. I have been asked to hang out with guys before...that made it clear it wouldn't be a date but while on the outing they tried making it into a date. Even after I made it clear that I wasn't interested in it being a date...they still pushed into date mode...and I have had troubles getting out of the outing because they decided to be persistent. Just adds on to why I have no interest in associating with strangers of any kind in RL. Just giving the facts from my personal experience. Edited November 29, 2012 by Dreamcastor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrodis19 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 30, 2012 First of all, life isn't fair...sadly. I have been asked to hang out with guys before...that made it clear it wouldn't be a date but while on the outing they tried making it into a date. Even after I made it clear that I wasn't interested in it being a date...they still pushed into date mode...and I have had troubles getting out of the outing because they decided to be persistent. Just adds on to why I have no interest in associating with strangers of any kind in RL. Just giving the facts from my personal experience.I have to admit your points are good points. This girl though that i was talking with is a no go. She seemed very cooll and i was into her but she had a night a few nights ago when she posted up a slew of FB messages to her ex saying she still loved him and such. I did find another girl irl that i just got her number tonight though i said do you want to hang out, she responded quickly by saying when and i said in the near future and she said sure. Any advice i am not sure how to bring up a date or if it seems like she thinks it is a date i meant or even how long to wait to text/call her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
† Emotional Outlet Posted November 30, 2012 Report Share Posted November 30, 2012 I hope things between that girl and her ex go okay. Exes are messy business, haha.My dating experience was not the most conventional (I struggle to think of any woman in the military who has), but I never put much stock into the whole "how long should I wait before calling" thing. As long as you aren't texting or calling every hour, there's nothing wrong with calling the next day or whatever. I've even received texts after an outing asking to go out again, but as a date the next time around. That's fine as long as you respect the answer you get, haha. That's probably a bit soon for most people, though--at that point you might as well be asking about it before you drop her off or whatever.I think much the same applies regardless--play it cool and don't rush into things. You just met her, so you don't want to come on too strong and wig her out. Be aware of any signs like Mal points out, but don't drive yourself crazy trying to analyse her every move, haha. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.First of all, life isn't fair...sadly. I have been asked to hang out with guys before...that made it clear it wouldn't be a date but while on the outing they tried making it into a date. Even after I made it clear that I wasn't interested in it being a date...they still pushed into date mode...I'm well aware of the inherent unfairness of life. I'm sorry your experience with dating, or attempts at not dating, have not gone well, but not everyone is like that, pushy and indifferent to your wants. By virtue of just asking and considering our advice, Myrodis already disproves that notion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted November 30, 2012 Report Share Posted November 30, 2012 Well dating doesn't matter anymore now that I'm married. I don't have to worry about it anymore. As I said above, I pretty much live like a hermit. I only go out into the human world when I absolutely have need to. Otherwise, I'm at home 24/7 pretty much. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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