Washroom Antics

[† Emotional Outlet]

So, I had an appointment this morning at the hospital. I drank a coffee from Starbucks, so of course the moment we roll into the base, my stomach starts grumbling. We park, I run into the bathroom, and silently curse that there is already someone in the bathroom, denying me my right to poop noisily.

I tried to stealth poop (because I am in a public place), but then the coffee started kicking me around and then I make this horrible bubbly fart noise. The lady in the stall next to me giggled, then I heard a little plop as she pooped a little too. It was an odd bonding experience. (I'm sure you all wanted to read about me pooping.)

I am totally a classy lady. Poop is classy. (Java says: Yeah right.)

I am currently lying in bed next to Java--we both have our laptops. He read my post and went, "Aaaaaaaawkward."

[BABYJOE1992]

Nice, We could always open a new thread to discuss poop and the different experiences. I am sure that there would be several amusing posts.

[† Emotional Outlet]

I'm not sure how well-received a thread dedicated to bathroom antics would be--yeah, okay, I'm not even serious. I have a thread about peeing in the shower. Everyone should talk about their poop at least once in a while! It is an important, natural human function. Also we can pretend to be doctors and diagnose people's problems.

"Indeed, purple pee is a you're lacking asparagus in your diet. Also, if your poop floats, that means you're being too optimistic. Turn it down a notch."

[BABYJOE1992]

Ya lets just say that I probably have a conversation about my bowel movements at least once a week. While you would think that it would be an unusual topic it sure seems to come up quite a bit.

You really had a thread about peeing in the shower or are you just pulling my leg.

[lemmingllama]

I just love that bonding experience, makes it more fun. Especially if you walk out at the same time as them, then just nod and feel that comraderie

[BABYJOE1992]

Solitude is the best way, especially when you see the unexpecting victim entering as your leaving.

Just nod and smile.

[† Mute point]

Jalapenos are not that hot. lol They are packed with some amazing flavors though

I try to avoid public restrooms.. Mostly because they are gross beyond reason.

[BABYJOE1992]

Always best but sometimes you don't have a choice. At least in most civilized places they aren't to bad. I have been to a lot of places that they are horrible and it is just part of the culture.

[† Mute point]

Rest stop bathrooms along the highway are the worst. They don't have staff there at all times to take care of problems. Though campground restrooms are bad too, simply because of how many people are sharing them. >.<

[Gero50]

Rest stop bathrooms along the highway are the worst. They don't have staff there at all times to take care of problems. Though campground restrooms are bad too, simply because of how many people are sharing them. >.<

I think the main problem with rest stop bathrooms, and public bathrooms in general is they are poorly kept. The ones on the high way even less since they are operated by the government.

[lemmingllama]

I normally try to avoid all public restrooms since they are all so dirty, and if I do go then normally I will first do an examination of the stalls and choose the cleanest, then clean it. Plus nothing can beat the freedom to make really weird noises while taking a dump at home

[Gero50]

I normally try to avoid all public restrooms since they are all so dirty, and if I do go then normally I will first do an examination of the stalls and choose the cleanest, then clean it. Plus nothing can beat the freedom to make really weird noises while taking a dump at home

I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like the janitorial staff don't do nothing when cleaning them.

[Dae314]

Personally... depending on the neighborhood and surroundings, I would almost think that visiting 1 (decent) public restroom while you're traveling (especially to a different country) would be mandatory. Sometimes there's a lot of culture in those places. Of course you need to be careful about which one you choose to go into >.>. You probably would want to avoid a restroom controlled by the local mafia or gang...

[KaoclazmMJR]

@dae What kind of washrooms are you going in?

[lemmingllama]

I have luckily never met any gang members or violent types in a bathroom. Well, one time I did walk in on a swirly, but a polite cough and they left. And I wont even start on the number of people smoking joints...

[jobonline20]

what is swirly? new to english

[Dae314]

what is swirly? new to english

It's better explained when you experience it yourself...

[† Emotional Outlet]

I don't recommend experiencing a swirly unless you don't mind having toilet water all up in your hair. While I have not experienced such shenanigans in a restroom, I have heard some crazy stories about ghosts in the toilets at NSA.

Of course, the toilets flush automatically, so I suspect this is more a result of being afraid of technology than anything else.

(Here is a thread! I made a thread. Oh man, I am a thread-maker.)

[KaoclazmMJR]

I have luckily never met any gang members or violent types in a bathroom. Well, one time I did walk in on a swirly, but a polite cough and they left. And I wont even start on the number of people smoking joints...

Oh those Canadians and their recreational delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol use

[Dae314]

When did I post in this thread!? I never posted in this thread!!! Lies!! All Lies!!!

Well now that I have posted in this thread, I might as well post something on topic:

Read the first thing that's talked about in this cracked article.

I actually happen to take a dump in squatting position (I'll let you imagine what that looks like). I developed the technique when I was a kid because I was the laziest brat around, and anything that made my life easier I would do. Hense when I found out that squatting instead of sitting not only felt easier to do, but it also helped me aim where the stuff would land (less streaking) and leave less for me to clean up (I can't imagine what the inside of some people's butt cheeks are like...) I took to it with not a second thought. Years later, I still practice it, and my mom has found out about it and she thinks I'm weird, but after finding the evidence on the cracked article for my style of pooping, I feel very justified ^-^. On a similar vein if you're looking for more odd things that I do, I use a knife at a dinner table with my left hand even though I'm right handed b/c then I can just pick up the knife with the fork still in my right hand and proceed to cut and eat without doing any hand switching.