I want everyone's honest opinion, I need help

[Ray Ray]

Alright, so, I have only talked to two people about this, because I trust them 100% and I know they wouldn't tell my boyfriend. Because they are my two closest guy friends and don't gossip.

And I know this sounds ridiculous but can we keep this inside the forum, I know many of you probably don't know or don't care, but it'll reassure me.

Anyways so.

I have been dating my boyfriend for, it will be 11 months soon.

He is cool, sweet, nice, cute, and always makes me happy.

Or so he did months ago.

A few months ago, he started getting extremely clingy, emotional (like drama queen), got mad when I talked to one of my guy friends (so I didn't talk to them for months), and would get salty when I hung out with a girl (wtf? he's jealous I'm spending time with them and not him).

He's been driving me away with his emotions and gets mad at me all the time.

He also accuses me of cheating on him all the time.

Well here's the problem.

I'm not a cheater, I hate cheaters, ugh.

But... I've had a friend I have a crush on, I've always like him, even before me and my boyfriend started dating.

I can keep stuff like that in check when I can talk to him everyday (the kid I have a crush on) and when I can talk to my other guy friends, because well they are my friends and I love them, and it keeps me from going crazy. I don't have that many girl friends, but I love my guy friends. My bf makes it seem like he's the only one that should be in my life. I can't deal with just one person for the rest of my life, I love having numerous people to talk to.

Well... I went to go hangout with my friend who I had a crush on and I hadn't seen him in ages.

It was fun, we caught up and it was just awesome.

I actually felt butterflies, and I don't feel those with my boyfriend anymore.

We just chilled like old times, but out of nowhere....

What do you know, we start kissing, get a little heated, and then, we had intercourse. (the is even the first time we ever kissed, wtf)

That's not the part that bothers me. Really, I'm bothered by the fact of I don't care that I cheated, and I'd do it again with him.

I feel terrible for not caring.

Me and this kid like each other, but I really don't trust him and he lives like 30 minutes away but like... I miss my boyfriend before he became such a controlling dick.

I really dunno what to do, if I told him or broke up with him, he'd defiantly kill himself, I've stopped him in the middle of it before.

He calls me millions of times, especially when I'm at work or hanging out with someone and keeps going "comeon can't we talk for 5 minutes? I miss you so much"

That's all he ever says

Really, I hang out with him and 5 minutes after I leave he calls and goes "I miss you"

I don't miss him.

I miss people after like... a few days of not talking, not 5 minutes.

He's just being so weird lately and I've told him about it, but he says he'll try to be better, but he just gets worse and always depends on me to make everything better, he wants me to drop everything just for him.

Ughh... I may have left stuff out but whatever, you get the jist.

What the heck should I do?!?!

[Skimy]

Well i'm no expert, but I would say everytime he calls you to say "I miss you" after 5 minutes just remind him about what he is doing, get a little serious.

But than again you say he accuses you of cheating and that you hate cheaters, but you did cheat so was right and you are being a hypocrite.

Also try getting him to hang out with his friends more? Maybe get them to hangout longer, and if he calls you tell him not to worry and hang up

[Fifilicious]

Are you still with guy? I know this topic is pretty old