A Crisis In My Hands

[seirachan]

My situation a very complicated. I don't even know where to start. Just this morning my ex bf tried killing himself in front in of me. Telling me it's all my fault ect. ect. It all started almost a month ago. Before he didn't treat me totally well and wanted to leave me for another girl in a few years cause then she'd be legal. We were together for 2 years. I fell deeply for one of my friends and I left my ex. But later that day my ex phoned me, said he broke up with that other girl and said I'm all he wants. I went back with him(I didn't cheat btw I just started falling for the other guy) but after a week my feelings for the other guy didn't let up. I was falling for him more and more. So I had to break it off cause I don't wanna cheat. I wont do that.

Me and ex had been complicated since then. First he tried to smother me kissing me, after an hour I said that I just wanna go home. Later He came and said we should be friends. I gave in. But he was still after me. Later that day he tried to kill himself with pills but his dad saved him. After that with lots of him throwing a fit and walking away. I still let him come back but I wouldn't kiss him or anything like that.

But last night he asked me to come over, I said okay. He pushed me down and said that he'll never let me leave, if I go he will kill himself. I couldn't move I was getting really scared. I was just thinking about my friends wanting them to save me but, one was sleeping the other was camping. He let go of me after a bit cause it was hurting his back. I should have ran at that point but I didn't. Skipping through all of the talking for 2 hours I finally just said, "I'm going that's the only thing on my mind". He yelled at me for my knife. He was starting to scare me. I just handed it over ready to stop anything really bad. He cut his arm up a bit, I was used to that but then he held it to his wrist so I got on top of him holding back his right hand holding the knife with my left and his wrist with my other hand.

He was mad at me telling me everything is my fault. I was surprised my weak hand could hold off his right so easy. But I fought with him to get the knife out of his hand. When i had it I ran upstairs and picked up the phone. I debated and figured calling 911 wouldn't stop him from killing himself it would only annoy him. So I went back downstairs and punched him in the face. I stayed and talked with him for awhile till his dad woke up and left. It didn't really go anywhere he just argued with me saying there's no point in life.

When I got home I called my friend that I was falling for. He was camping so I just left a message saying my ex tried to kill himself and that I wish I had someone to talk to right now. But apparently when he got the message it had no sound >< Ah electronics these days. We talked about it anyways.

My ex also said he was going to talk to my crush cause he doesn't think it's right. I'm really worried about that. But I talked with my crush and he said he wont listen to a word my ex says. I don't want to get him involved with my problems. It's troublesome.

I wanna know what peope think

[rtgmath]

seirachan, you do have a complicated issue. Would you listen to a few words from an older guy?

Guys get very emotional and very possessive. When it seems like there is no hope in a relationship they want, they can be quick to despair and dramatics at the same time.

Do you have the phone number for his folks? Give them a call, and tell them he needs some help. Tell them that you aren't able to keep your ex as your bf. You are young enough that this makes sense. But also tell them he appeared to try to kill himself over it. He needs to see a doctor. Some meds might be needed to calm him down.

I do hope he isn't doing drugs.

Next, don't let him over if no one else is with you. If he again threatens to kill himself, tell him you wish he wouldn't -- but if he decides to do that, you still have to live your life by what you believe is right. You can't be forced to love someone. Both he and you are still young, trying to figure out who you really are. That takes time.

Any violence against you must be reported to the police -- immediately. Too many young ladies have ended up dead because they didn't think anything like that would happen. Get help from a school counselor if necessary.

Guys get weird. And yes, I am a guy. But you want someone who will love you, not want to possess you. You are not a possession. You cannot be owned. You can and you must make your own decisions, and anyone who wants to be with you has to respect that.

I wish you well.

[seirachan]

seirachan, you do have a complicated issue. Would you listen to a few words from an older guy?

Guys get very emotional and very possessive. When it seems like there is no hope in a relationship they want, they can be quick to despair and dramatics at the same time.

Do you have the phone number for his folks? Give them a call, and tell them he needs some help. Tell them that you aren't able to keep your ex as your bf. You are young enough that this makes sense. But also tell them he appeared to try to kill himself over it. He needs to see a doctor. Some meds might be needed to calm him down.

I do hope he isn't doing drugs.

Next, don't let him over if no one else is with you. If he again threatens to kill himself, tell him you wish he wouldn't -- but if he decides to do that, you still have to live your life by what you believe is right. You can't be forced to love someone. Both he and you are still young, trying to figure out who you really are. That takes time.

Any violence against you must be reported to the police -- immediately. Too many young ladies have ended up dead because they didn't think anything like that would happen. Get help from a school counselor if necessary.

Guys get weird. And yes, I am a guy. But you want someone who will love you, not want to possess you. You are not a possession. You cannot be owned. You can and you must make your own decisions, and anyone who wants to be with you has to respect that.

I wish you well.

[DrumRoll]

If he does anything again just phone the police. Let him know your off-limits.

Life's too short to be wasting it on such people. He'll get over you...or maybe not. Anyway, its his problem not yours-despite what he says- and you shouldn't let it weigh you down. Remove him from your life as quickly as possible.

Of course this is my overly pragmatic view and things are never so simple in life:( but try to move on as quickly as possible.

[† L4ugh]

From this post and the others you have made about this guy I'd say he is 40% crazy, 60% a control freak, and 100% not worth your time. You're to young to have to take care of a douche like that, so wash your hands of him and move on. If he bothers you again get a restraining order against him. Crazy and control freak is a very bad mix. If you continue to let this guy into your life you could suffer a lot more then emotional pain.

I know guys just like him and even when they move on they still want to control your life, and get really angry when you don't follow orders. Cut the cord and don't talk to him no matter what he says. He will eventually find someone else to try and control. It's sad but there is nothing you can do about it. He has a hole inside him that no amount of love can fill.