ow my feels

[Pinkie Pie]

Okay all the cool kids are posting topics for advice and now I'm going to join them. A few weeks ago my girlfriend left me without an actual reason beyond "you're too good for me, find someone else". She spoke about how ~fun~ I was to be around and how good my ideas were and shit like that, but never gave an actual reason as to why she suddenly wanted to end our 5 month relationship just days after she said she loved me. She's got some...emotional baggage, and I always did everything I could to help her when she was down. I always reminded her that I felt very strongly for her and that I cared about her a great deal, along with saying at least a few times that I accepted her and /all/ of her emotional baggage. But she still ended it. She asked to be friends, but I couldn't do it. I was still trying to figure out what the fuck I'd actually done to make her leave.

And I was very upset about it. She was the first relationship I'd had in a really long time that made me feel fulfilled and like someone actually cared about me as more than just a friend, like it was actually going somewhere. I was so distraught about it that I started speaking to one of my oldest and closest friends again, even though she had hurt me terribly in the past just so I wouldn't think about my now ex anymore. I threw myself into fandoms and stopped speaking to everyone, but now I'm at a point where it feels like I'm bothering everyone I talk to and that no one wants me around anymore because of my emotional bullshit. I've even considered trying to talk to my ex again, even though I know that's a horrible idea.

Also in those weeks, I got attached to a friend of mine in a rather unhealthy way, and I didn't even mean for it to be like that so now things between us are weird and awkward because apparently he was getting vibes that I was into him? We rp together but that's about it. And now he's gone because of rl junk and won't be around for a few months, and not thinking about him makes me less sad, but at the same time I miss him??

help me, i'm a wreck ):

[Cain]

It's hard to say, so i won't be pulling any lines like "i know how it feels"

All i can say is it wasn't meant to be; don't think of it in a harsh way though, 5 months isn't a long time

i had to end a 2 year relationship because it wasn't going anywhere, maybe because it was near the end of highschool, not at the right maturity level, "highschool romance obsession", time of moving on (to college), you tell me what you wanna call it, but after that initial spark of "love" went away it got dull and we started seeing things differently, started doing our own thing -separately-

True it didn't wreck me emotionally as it was part of our decision, sure it wasn't a smooth breakup, non of them are...but that's in the past

The way i see it is everything comes and goes it takes time to find the right one for "keeps", one who matches you and makes you truly fulfilled, and when that happens you'll have no regrets

im currently in a relationship, started off this summer so it's been about 6 months now, I'm happy, she's happy i feel like she completes my heart and gives even more meaning in each day that goes by; will it stay that way? i hope it does...and do i regret any break ups i had in the past? no, because if those breakups never happened i wouldn't be with her now...

Cheesy as all that might seem that's how i feel, there's no reason to put your life and emotions on hold, you'll get your chance and find your other half that suites you right

Maybe some of what i said might come off like im the type who doesn't give a sht, it's really not the case...but take it how you will, though you gotta agree that's life and not everything goes as we plan or hope for it

Although i do agree that a random breakup is uncalled for and that she could have atleast given you a straight up reason what went wrong

and just an advise...don't look for a rebound relationship, those never make your situation any better if anything it'll cause more unfulfilled feelings and emptiness

As for your friend, if you two are tight he should understand what you're going through and i doubt he would be getting any wrong ideas, so don't overthink things same applies to your other friends...if they really can't give you a supporting hand and understanding when you need it then you shouldn't be blaming yourself more like question the quality of that friendship

Just don't lose it man, like i said it wasn't meant to be don't beat yourself up over it and life isn't ending you're only 22 ffs

Edited December 8, 2012 by Cain

[Malyssa Rahl]

People with troubled pasts often think that they aren't good enough for a relationship. I've dealt with that before, but on the opposite side that you're on. I've been dumped for being too emotional, too cold, too clingy, too distant, even too tall once (Like it was my fault! lol..)

Emotional baggage is the heaviest kind, and almost impossible to get rid of. It's not like you can call your buddies and have them haul it away! But when both of you accept the fact that it is there, you can share the burden. When one side resists that sharing, the relationship crumbles.

Regardless of how it ended, you should do what you feel is right. If that means calling her up and trying to make things work again, do it. if it means finding someone else, there are a lot of someone elses out there. If it means taking a break to sort out your own feelings before trying any kind of relationship, you're young, you have time. Make it work for you.