It Hurts.

[seirachan]

I can't stop crying. I don't have anyone to talk to cause the only two people I know share info and it's about one of them. The guy I'm in love with turned me down because he just wants us to be friends, he was thinking before about asking me out for 3 weeks but he thought it would end in him hurting me and wanted us just to be friends. We were so close during that time. I knew he felt the same way and I just keep remembering everything and braking down. One night after my ex tried to kill himself I went over to Keelan's(the guy I like) place and before I left I just held onto him and he laughed at first but then his wrapped his arms around me and asked me if I'm gonna be okay I know now he'll never hug me like that again. I knew the moment he stopped having feelings for me. I was super tired and before I left I hugged him tight, he didn't do anything after a bit he just said, "lets take you home". I don't think I can look at him as just a friend. Next time I see him I'm probably gonna brake down. When I'm around him I just wanna hug him and when I see his lips I wanna kiss them. It's so painful that it'll just never be. I don't get how guys can just drop feelings like that. I still have feelings for my first crush that turned me down 8 years ago but I'll never date him anymore because of everything that's happened between and that he never liked me to begin with.

I want to badly reach out to him and just bawl out crying. All of the feelings I have and remember are just tearing me apart. I really wish he just asked me out. If you think about things just ending in yourself hurting the person it's the same for anyone. I don't even know when I'll see him again. But I'm falling apart. I just wanna be loved. Held in his arms, kinda like that night.

[† TheChaosLegion]

I don't get how guys can just drop feelings like that.

I would like to attempt to explain this part. This may appear insensitive, but that's not my intent.

He (and most guys) didn't just drop his feelings for no reason. In his mind he has what he feels is a valid reason for not wanting to be with you, and I suspect, however nice he is, it had nothing to do with hurting you, which is only a male catch phrase for "I don't really like you like that". The same goes with "It's not you, it's me." For some guys, being with certain types of females (this preference varies from male to male) can really be alot of work, more work than the male in question is interested in dealing with, no matter how he might feel about the person. He simply weighed the positives and negatives of being with you and decided the negatives didn't justify the effort of maintaining a relationship. You may simply represent a level of drama he is uninterested in dealing with, or he might have just realized he didn't have the feelings for you that he thought he had. Either way, there is a reason.

I can certainly understand how you might not be able to accept this at the moment, but this outcome is the best for both of you. This may again sound insensitive, but the best thing to do at the moment is learn to stand on your own in a situation like this, which will certainly serve you well in later years. In the end, we all stand alone.

[EvilDoomBunny]

I would like to attempt to explain this part. This may appear insensitive, but that's not my intent.

He (and most guys) didn't just drop his feelings for no reason. In his mind he has what he feels is a valid reason for not wanting to be with you, and I suspect, however nice he is, it had nothing to do with hurting you, which is only a male catch phrase for "I don't really like you like that". The same goes with "It's not you, it's me." For some guys, being with certain types of females (this preference varies from male to male) can really be alot of work, more work than the male in question is interested in dealing with, no matter how he might feel about the person. He simply weighed the positives and negatives of being with you and decided the negatives didn't justify the effort of maintaining a relationship. You may simply represent a level of drama he is uninterested in dealing with, or he might have just realized he didn't have the feelings for you that he thought he had. Either way, there is a reason.

I can certainly understand how you might not be able to accept this at the moment, but this outcome is the best for both of you. This may again sound insensitive, but the best thing to do at the moment is learn to stand on your own in a situation like this, which will certainly serve you well in later years. In the end, we all stand alone.

Well said.

From what I gather, I don't think his comforting you was because he liked you the way you like him.. I think he was just comforting you as a friend or maybe even because it was sort of uncomfortable and awkward for me to see a girl crying over something tragic and drama filled as attempted suicide of an ex bf. You said he laughed at first, which most likely was a nervous tick then hugged you because you were hugging him and he saw that you needed to be comforted.

I also don't want to seem harsh in my opinion but I call them like I see them.. and you do seem pretty dramatic. That is a big turnoff for most people, male or female.

I think he was letting you down easily because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and because it really is just a less messy way to reject someone.

If you think otherwise then you should be upfront with him. But remember nobody goes into a relationship WANTING to be with someone and thinking "well this isn't going to end well" because when you WANT to be with someone you don't initially think of the relationship YOU WANT to be in .. Ending. Especially if you are just going into it.

[seirachan]

Well said.

From what I gather, I don't think his comforting you was because he liked you the way you like him.. I think he was just comforting you as a friend or maybe even because it was sort of uncomfortable and awkward for me to see a girl crying over something tragic and drama filled as attempted suicide of an ex bf. You said he laughed at first, which most likely was a nervous tick then hugged you because you were hugging him and he saw that you needed to be comforted.

I also don't want to seem harsh in my opinion but I call them like I see them.. and you do seem pretty dramatic. That is a big turnoff for most people, male or female.

I think he was letting you down easily because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings and because it really is just a less messy way to reject someone.

If you think otherwise then you should be upfront with him. But remember nobody goes into a relationship WANTING to be with someone and thinking "well this isn't going to end well" because when you WANT to be with someone you don't initially think of the relationship YOU WANT to be in .. Ending. Especially if you are just going into it.

No at that time he did have feelings for me. I knew out right when we went to a sushi place to eat a few weeks before he had feelings for me. He was nervous and fiddling around the whole time, even his best friend said that he knows that he likes me. He laughed during the hug saying, "hehe I'm really tall" then stopped. After the hug I was talking to him online and he said, "Tomorrow you can hug me all you want". Our friend was with us when we hung out that time though but when he dropped me off we hugged beside his truck. When I talked to our friend later he said, "It's so cute how you two hug each other".

But it was him who thought he would so do something. He thought he would hurt me somehow. I'd already seen it through him before and accepted his flaws because nobody is perfect. I'm not so easy to scare away. I think that it could've worked out.

I just dunno how to tell him all this and I really don't know what kind of reaction I would get. Cause I'm hurting and he'll have to find out one way or another. I don't wanna just talk to our friend this time cause it really wont do anything and he'll either say "I don't know" or "get over it" Though I can't help the way I feel.

Also I wasn't crying when I hugged him that night. Sunday morning after my ex tried to kill himself I tried to phone up Keelan's cell but I knew he was out camping and was gonna come back later that day. I was crying on the voice mail but when he got the message there was no sound. So I just had to bluntly tell him what happened through MSN. He had no time to hang out for a few days.