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What is your biggest fear?


Pacific85

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Not long ago I would have told you "spiders" or "clowns" or even something pseudo-intellectual like "The such-and-such party seizing political power." Now I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that my greatest fear is my own asthma. Every single day I'm forced to avoid places or situations because of the possibility of having a severe attack. I have nightmares about being unable to breathe, of drowning, of suffocating. When I'm invited out I have a partial panic attack, brought on by the fact that going to an environment out of my control could lead to an attack. In the past I had always considered this an "annoyance" more than a fear, but now I recognize it for what it is: an intense fear, downright dread even. When I think of being "tortured," my mind skips over the whips and candlesticks, starvation, and psychological torment. It conjures instead the feeling of a tightened chest, of a clot in my throat, of my lungs aching and deflating.

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1 hour ago, PhoenixPress said:

Not long ago I would have told you "spiders" or "clowns" or even something pseudo-intellectual like "The such-and-such party seizing political power." Now I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that my greatest fear is my own asthma. Every single day I'm forced to avoid places or situations because of the possibility of having a severe attack. I have nightmares about being unable to breathe, of drowning, of suffocating. When I'm invited out I have a partial panic attack, brought on by the fact that going to an environment out of my control could lead to an attack. In the past I had always considered this an "annoyance" more than a fear, but now I recognize it for what it is: an intense fear, downright dread even. When I think of being "tortured," my mind skips over the whips and candlesticks, starvation, and psychological torment. It conjures instead the feeling of a tightened chest, of a clot in my throat, of my lungs aching and deflating.

I know how you feel bud. I have asthma as well and it's scary to think that your life is in the hands of a small inhaler. I get asthma attacks every night and it's just not something you want to deal with. The thought of not waking up or getting an attack that needs medical attention is a fear I know too well.

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On 9/5/2018 at 3:13 AM, DRX said:

I know how you feel bud. I have asthma as well and it's scary to think that your life is in the hands of a small inhaler. I get asthma attacks every night and it's just not something you want to deal with. The thought of not waking up or getting an attack that needs medical attention is a fear I know too well.

I wish the reactions included a "camaraderie" emoji, or something better than "Like" to express "I know that feels, thanks man." I've only got ten doses of my controller left at the moment and don't have health insurance, so I'm facing a pretty scary world in a little over a week. I'm glad somebody gets where I'm coming from. Wish you all the best in your future battle with it as well.

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28 minutes ago, PhoenixPress said:

I wish the reactions included a "camaraderie" emoji, or something better than "Like" to express "I know that feels, thanks man." I've only got ten doses of my controller left at the moment and don't have health insurance, so I'm facing a pretty scary world in a little over a week. I'm glad somebody gets where I'm coming from. Wish you all the best in your future battle with it as well.

Same to you bud and thanks ^_^ Hope you can get a new inhaler soon. I myself have to buy them cash, because no insurance.

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34 minutes ago, DRX said:

Same to you bud and thanks ^_^ Hope you can get a new inhaler soon. I myself have to buy them cash, because no insurance.

Well, my rescue I have a back up of. It's the Advair I'm running out on, and without insurance that's about $350 x.x;

Some people have suggested I can import them from Canada more cheaply, so I'm looking into that :D

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21 minutes ago, Sinbad said:

My cold, which has almost lasted for about 2 years now.

 

Whenever I think that it's cured, it relapses again & I am fed up of it.

 

I don't know the reason & even the doctors (Myself included) couldn't help me out.

 

All they do is give me antibiotics & antihistamines/antiallergics.

Hope you can over come this cold bud,  wish you all the best.

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On 9/5/2018 at 10:45 AM, PhoenixPress said:

Not long ago I would have told you "spiders" or "clowns" or even something pseudo-intellectual like "The such-and-such party seizing political power." Now I'm beginning to come to grips with the fact that my greatest fear is my own asthma. Every single day I'm forced to avoid places or situations because of the possibility of having a severe attack. I have nightmares about being unable to breathe, of drowning, of suffocating. When I'm invited out I have a partial panic attack, brought on by the fact that going to an environment out of my control could lead to an attack. In the past I had always considered this an "annoyance" more than a fear, but now I recognize it for what it is: an intense fear, downright dread even. When I think of being "tortured," my mind skips over the whips and candlesticks, starvation, and psychological torment. It conjures instead the feeling of a tightened chest, of a clot in my throat, of my lungs aching and deflating.

On 9/5/2018 at 12:43 PM, DRX said:

I know how you feel bud. I have asthma as well and it's scary to think that your life is in the hands of a small inhaler. I get asthma attacks every night and it's just not something you want to deal with. The thought of not waking up or getting an attack that needs medical attention is a fear I know too well.

Hope u guys get well soon, I too know how terrifying asthama attacks are cos my cousin had suffered from it (cough variant asthama) too.

 

But thanks to god & medical science, he is completely normal now.

 

BTW, which variant of asthama do you suffer guys from?

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1 hour ago, Sinbad said:

BTW, which variant of asthama do you suffer guys from? 

Unfortunately I haven't seen a doctor about my asthma since it started again in high school. You see when I was younger I used a face mask to keep my asthma at bay and it went away by 10 years of age, sadly when I turned 18 it came back and it's been getting worse since then.

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3 hours ago, Sinbad said:

 

BTW, which variant of asthama do you suffer guys from?

I have "classic" or "traditional" asthma. Essentially a hyperreactive airway and lungs. A lot of people have conditional asthma: induced by allergens, induced by exercise, induced by work environments. My asthma is triggered by any impurity in the air (allergic asthma), and any mildly strenuous activity (exercise-induced asthma). I suffer from coughing, though usually my airways close up too much for coughing to happen. I also suffer from nocturnal asthma (to the extent that I cannot sleep without at least one HEPA air filter running, or I will have an asthma attack in the night) and am allergic to every type of pollen and dander I've been exposed to. This all boils down to my life having been one series of steroidal treatments after another, with a volley of antihistamines in an attempt to control my allergic reactions. I'm currently on one asthmatic control steroid, a rescue inhaler, and three allergy medications (one general use pill, a nasal steroid to prevent my nasal passages from closing up, and most recently one which stops my eyes from swelling and watering--a result of moving to a new environment to which I am severely allergic).

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3 hours ago, PhoenixPress said:

I have "classic" or "traditional" asthma. Essentially a hyperreactive airway and lungs. A lot of people have conditional asthma: induced by allergens, induced by exercise, induced by work environments. My asthma is triggered by any impurity in the air (allergic asthma), and any mildly strenuous activity (exercise-induced asthma). I suffer from coughing, though usually my airways close up too much for coughing to happen. I also suffer from nocturnal asthma (to the extent that I cannot sleep without at least one HEPA air filter running, or I will have an asthma attack in the night) and am allergic to every type of pollen and dander I've been exposed to. This all boils down to my life having been one series of steroidal treatments after another, with a volley of antihistamines in an attempt to control my allergic reactions. I'm currently on one asthmatic control steroid, a rescue inhaler, and three allergy medications (one general use pill, a nasal steroid to prevent my nasal passages from closing up, and most recently one which stops my eyes from swelling and watering--a result of moving to a new environment to which I am severely allergic).

Sounds pretty serious.

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8 hours ago, DRX said:

 It was suggested to me if I were to move close to the sea I would see drastically changes for the better in my asthma.

The salty air definitely does improve my condition. Unfortunately, living near the sea is prohibitively expensive. Not only is the property pricier and taxed higher, but the salt does a number on it so homes close enough to it to make a difference need far more repairs than other structures. Additionally, the salt tends to ruin electronics and books in a short number of years--which makes it extremely difficult for a nerd to live there. It's certainly a viable option for anybody with the means to do so, though. Financially, for me, at the moment I've had to move back into my parents' place. Not only are they extreme hoarders, but the structure itself is about two-and-a-half centuries old. I'm learning that anything built before 1950 triggers me (which is part of why I had so much trouble finding an apartment). The plan at the moment is to hopefully avoid an attack long enough to buy my own place. I'm just trying to turn "my room" into a sort of hygenic bubble in the meanwhile.

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