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Nero D. Ace

The Aerith Gainsborough Murder Trial

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“I had to change my name after my death, for future prequels, as ordered by Square's Victims Relocation plan...”
~ Aerith Gainsborough on Her Death

“You Fool! NOW THEY KNOW WHO AERITH IS!”
~ Square Employee on the above quote

“The case is known for it's... er... well... it's known for being famous.”
~ Midgar History Channel Documentary on The Case

The Incident

The incident could of occurred from 1995-Present Day. It has been singled down to three confirmed persons; Cloud Strife, Aeris Gainsborough, and Sephiroth. Others may have been present including Tifa Lockheart, Yuffie Somethinggari, Red XIII (Criminal Nickname: Nanaki) and Mr. T. There is High Controversy over the location of one, Vincent Valentine, at the time. The location of the incident has been nicknamed the Forgotten City, and the event was the murder of Aeris, by Sephiroth. Authorities have also made a link of this incident to the Nibelheim incident, some years ago. Profiles of each of the suspects follow.

Sephiroth

Primary Suspect

Personal Features: Long, Silver Hair.

Eyes: Range from A Blue in some appearances to a Teal in others.

Last Seen in: The Nibelheim Reactor

Weapon: Masusume (Huge Sword)

Notes: Thought to be dead. Ex-Soldier, if seen, approach with a lot of caution.

Aeris Gainsborough

Victim

Personal Features: Wears pink, acts in a childish manner, possibly brought on by a mental issue.

Eyes: Green

Last seen in: The Pool in Forgotten City.

Weapon: A (Stripper) Pole.

Notes: Part of the Square Witness Relocation Program. Various rumors surround her as to if she can be brought back.

Cloud Strife

Suspect

Personal Features: Gravity Defying Hair. Should be easy to spot from outer space.

Eyes: Blue

Last seen at: The Forgotten City (brought in for the case)

Weapon: A Huge Sword. Exercise semi-caution if approached.

Notes: Seems to have a connection to Sephiroth. Also, seems to be the center of a rape love octagon/ nonagon between Tifa, Aeris, Aerith Yuffie, Cid, Cait Jedi, REDCOCK XIII and Barret. Possibly also Vincent.

The Case

“All Rise for the Honorable Judge Judy, Presiding. The Case is the People of Midgar City, Versus Sephiroth.”
~ Balif on The Opening Lines of the Case

“No! I Do Not care if the man in question, was trying to summon a Meteor to doom us all! He can do that if he wants! The point is, he committed murder, and Justice must be served either way!”
~ Judge Judy on Sephiroth's Lawyer Objection

The case was judged by the finest in Midgar, Judge Judy. It went for a total of five days. The Jury agreed the highlight of the case was the artist's impression of the moment of Aeris death. Although evidence came in the form of Cutscenes, the Jury and Judge were left to make decisions on that of the witnesses' and suspects recounts. Sephiroth showed extreme lack of empathy, so it was hard to get him to acknowledge what he had done was in fact wrong. Since Sephiroth tried to destroy the planet, he feared appearing in court would result in charges against him of that scale. His terms of appearing was he be legally exempt from those charges, and this was granted.

Sephiroth's Trial

Sephiroth had hired elite Shin-Ra lawyers to help him win the case. Multiple variables made the trial complicated, and in the end, the Cutscenes collected were deemed not enough evidence to prosecute Sephiroth. Although not found guilty of murdering Aeris, Continuation of the trial urged on by Sephiroth's lack of cooperation. His Defense stated that "[sephiroth] was in a tree, slicing branches with his sword when he fell out, landed on Aeris (with his sword still drawn) here by killing her, accidentally. This looked at from the view of Cloud Strife and his party, looked like Sephiroth jumped out and purposely killed Aeris." Even so, Sephiroth's statement beforehand gave a motive for the incident- "She Was part of my big plan, to summon meteor..." which made inconsistencies with his defense. He was cleared of Murder, and charged with Accidental Murder by the Jury, and sentenced to 45 weeks of Community Service, including helping out at repairing the Sector 7 church for Aeris' Funeral.

Cloud's Trial

“Your honor, while yes Sephiroth may have "accidentally stabbed" Mrs. Gainsborough, her true cause of death was due to a delayed treatment of her wounds. Everyone knows that you can revive anyone with a Phoenix Down (...I think...). Everyone except apparently...
MR. CLOUD STRIFE
!!!”
~ Sephiroth's Lawyers on Cloud's Charges.

Charged with Criminal Negligence, Evading Arrest, Tampering with a Crime Scene and Investigation, as well as possible Assisting in the Death of Aeris. He was charged with Criminal negligence because Sephiroth's defense argued that he could've used a Phoenix Down to revive Aeris. Instead, he decided to dump her body in a nearby pond, where he presumed no one would find it- this, along with Sephiroth's initial attack, presented an "Overkill" like effect, thus, assisting in killing the victim. However, Cloud's defense rebutted with "Dying in battle is much different to dying in the field or outside of battle. You simply can't be brought back to life. Usually, in battle, one can faint and be revived, or after the battle given 1 hp, but it just doesn't happen outside of battle." When asked about why he put Aeris in the pond, neither Cloud nor his defense had anything to say about it. He also was asked why he drove away from pursuing officers on his motorbike, the "Hardy Daytona" after the incident. Cloud said that "He thought they were there about the whole Hair Gel shoplifting thing". This resulted in the charges of completely unrelated Shop Lifting, and Tampering with Crime Scene and Investigation for dumping the body.

Tifa's Trial

“Guilty on charge of being too sexy!”
~ A member of the jury, <insert name here>'s bad pick up line upon seeing Tifa enter.

Intitially not charged with anything, she was bought in because of another claim by Sephiroth's lawyers, that once again changed his story, "He fell out the tree because of Tifa's natural assets". This resulted in a charge of indecent exposure, which was lifted when she showed all men in the jury (which outnumbered the woman 3 to 1) her boobs. She also had a motive to kill Aeris-Aerith and Her (along with Cid, Cait Jedi, REDCOCK XIII, Yuffie and Barret) where in a RAPE Love Octagon with Cloud.

Vincent's Trial

“WERE YOU OR WERE YOU NOT PRESENT AT THE INCIDENT?”
~ Judge on The Question asked more than anything else at Vincent's trial.

Vincent, initially brought in for questioning, was charged with interfering with an investigation. This was because he could not give a direct answer to the simple question of whether or not he was present at the time of the incident. He could only answer "Maybe..". The only other question was 'Were you, Vincent, at the time, or still are, in competition for Cloud's affections with Cid, Cait Jedi, REDCOCK XIII, Yuffie, Barret and the late Aeris Gainsborough!?'. he answered Maybe, again. Eventually, He exploded into a fit of rage consisting of satanic transformations, shooting for no reason at all, yelling of foul words, and before he left the court room, he unleashed his wrath on the nearby streets. The next day, he issued a press conference stating, "You've got to understand, I may have been there or I may have not. It all depends on how you played the game. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but that's just how it is. That's just how RPG's work." he also apologized for his actions, thereby releasing him from charges in some strange, twisted way.

Yuffie Somethingari

After Vincent's shock outrage, another factor that would complicate the proceedings even more was uncovered. Yuffie, Ninja and Hentai Superstar (yet not as popular as Tifa) She also had various tie-ins with the case. Unlike Vincent, she took things very calmly, and took faceloads of it too. When brought to testify against Sephiroth, as the defense's last hope, she was able to avoid answering any questions but did give the court some key evidence- Vincent was, in fact, In a love triangle, as proved by a photo of the two sharing an apartment in Costa-Del-Soil. The two allegedly met inside a coffin, and Vincent was traumatized already by the recent break up of him and a Professor Hojo.

The Results

Sephiroth was found guilty of Accidental Murder, Cloud was found guilty of Shoplifting Expensive Hair gel products, Tifa was found not guilty on charges of Indecent Exposure, and to this day, the death of Aeris Gainsborough is still very much a mystery. What really happened that day lies in the secrets of the planet-and remains the single most infamous case in the history of Midgar City. The Church in Sector 7 was never rebuilt by Sephiroth, instead used by his spawn and destroyed even more in another fight with Cloud, causing in the Church's flooding. Sephiroth, although now well presumably dead, has been charged with Destruction of Government Property, and has yet to make an appearance in his trials.

Reopening

Midgar Police have tried to get the courts to re-open the case and use the technology of today to simulate a "remake" of her death. When Midgar Police approached the massive company that took over from Shinra Electric Power Co, Square Enix, they repeatedly declined. Various rumors are spread now and then that Square Enix is actually hiding incriminating evidence found when they remade the scene, due to there close tie-in with Cloud Strife, stating at a conference in 2006, "He brings a lot more money then any other employee we have- we just have to put him holding something, or doing stuff and... suckers buy it in an instant. Whether it be a PS3, or a Mobile Phone... in fact, all we have to do is say the name Cloud and fangirls have orgasms, and fanboys have fantasies of being him."

(Original Source : Uncyclopedia)

Edited by Emotional Outlet

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This...oh god...if only I had read this seven years ago, back when I was still a Final Fantasy VII fanboy (ashamed to admit it), then I probably would have declared a jihad against you...funny stuff man.

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