Letter #87 Dear My Lovely Mary, I regret to inform you that the actions you have committed were useless. You did not and could not stop me as before. I will continue on without rest until Genevieve can sleep peacefully at night. Kate and she seems to not be getting much sleep. I myself well late at night in my office chair look out the window at the moon wondering when did things really turned into such a chaotic mess, as my plans are starting to take form. It is getting harder and harder and think of you because I know I am going against your most deepest wishes, but I cannot help but think I am now a different man now that you are not by my side . I wonder at times if you would come back if even now after all this time. I also got wonder if you're thinking of me no matter the space between us that I know. I will love Genevieve with as much love as two people. I have gotten Thomas into the same line of work as you, I think you would be quite proud of him. He is progressing well and above all, he smiles quite often. I know he still thinks of you. I should also inform you that he had Margaret are getting married next month; a February wedding. You always said that was the best time of year to get married. I think that is his honor to you. There is not much more that he can hope to do. We finally have a reconciled last Wednesday, we put our differences aside and will work together for our common goal. I will make sure no matter what that no harm will ever come to him or his soon-to-be bride. When we finally sat down and had a proper chat he asked me to be his best man. It was impossible to say no. I that instant I went from still have lingering feeling of hatred towards him to feeling like we were brothers once again. Now that I look back on this past week I cannot even imagine how I felt so much hatred towards the man after everything he has been through. He has always been like a brother to me. I can now see and confirm with my own eyes why he was your best friend and you trusted him over everyone else even me, and rightfully so. Ye else even me, and rightfully so. You know how I process things, how I see things, how I work things out of my mind. What drives me is impulse. Even so you loved me and cared for me when I was sick and took care of me when I could go no further. I think you know this will be the last letter I send to you; the documents enclosed are that of the previously discussed matter and also the pictures that were discussed previously in the letter that preluded this. I had mentioned that Jonathan had come back and seem to have quite a good start up business going for him. I am happy to officially report that his company is doing even better than what he or I could have ever foreseen when he came into port and discussed with me his plans. Finally, as it comes towards our anniversary, we are all going to gather “in the place that must not be mentioned…” is quite funny now that that, the place is called that after all that has happed there. I am so sad to report Angie will not be joining us. It looks like she is still traveling on that wretched ship; I am sorry to say that even though you tried so hard to fix our relationship, it has not improved. Though I can say my personal feelings for her in the manner towards aggression have subsided and I think that is mutual. Though I can never call her my friend again, deep down in my heart. I owe a great debt to her that I can never repay and if at a moments need I would be there for her if she ever calls and asks for me. “Where the heart lies within me…” At that time I had been too naïve to answer your question about how what I have been truly feeling. I was young and too much of a greenhorn to realize what you truly were asking and why you are truly asking it. At that time if I had just properly answered back then, I might've been able to be by your side for so much longer. I am afraid I made that same mistake again and that is why I have to write this letter to you instead of being able to see you in person right here and now. I promised myself that I would end this letter feeling satisfied and that even though not everything has been resolved quite yet, I know in my heart and soul that I will not need to write to you again. Whether you receive this letter or not… either way it’s given me the peace of mind and I need to keep moving ahead with my life and with Genevieve's. I have no choice in the matter. Now, that child will continue to grow and I will continue to need to be there for though in the coming years. That might be difficult, I will as always try my best and try to do everything at ounce and I might stumble along the way, but I will this time I remember what is truly important. And never forget about the ones I have loved or the ones that have cherished me. Sincerely Yours; The Man With The Bloody Mind, Eric